Sydney Games Already Being Praised As 'Best Ever'
2004 Hosts Athens Said To Be 'Shitting Pants'
Olympic City Hopes To Get Big Marks In 'Swimsuit' and 'Talent' Sections To Become 'Miss Olympic Host'
Athens, the Greek capital which played host to the first of the modern Olympics, won the right to host the 2004 games as a gesture of the games returning home. Now commentators wonder if it was a big mistake to elect Athens the host city.
"Yeah, I think the IOC (International Olympic Committee) are really kicking their own arses right about now," says Olympic historian Gregg Forsythe. "Sydney has put on what has been reputed to be the 'best games ever', and still have a whole week and a half to go. Athens, running behind with their preparation of facilities and edging over budget, are...well, I don't want to put it too bluntly, but they're looking as f**ked as a hooker's c**t."
"They're reeeaaaallly shitting themselves, man. They're so dead meat in four year's time" added Forsythe.
What appears to be an incredibly successful games could not have come from more shambolic beginnings, with Sydney having its fair share of ticketing scares, transport mishaps and budgeting blow-outs. These factors, say IOC vice-president Dick Pound, mean not to count out Athens yet.
"Certainly, Sydney had a shitty preparation in many regards," says Pound, IOC member for Canada as well as a likely candidate to succeed outgoing President Juan Antonio Samaranch. "All kinds of bungles plagued the organisation. I don't know what drugs some of these people were on - what kind of tool is that Micheal Knight?! But in the end, it all came together, and hopefully Athens will be able to pull something out of its ass too."
Meanwhile, the city of Sydney has not grown complacent at what is such a relatively early stage of the games. Organisers know that one major mishap could still tarnish the legacy of these games, and so have been making sure that Sydney picks up all the points it can in the race to be crowned 'Miss Olympic Host City'.
"We're confident that Sydney can put in a tremendous showing in the swimsuit section, and for the talent section she has a whole section prepared involving rabbits and top hats, although thousands of times more exciting than any other magic routine you've ever seen," said SOCOG member Sandy Hollway. "At the moment we're debating whether she [Sydney] should in fact perform a magic routine or a re-arranged version of Edelweiss she's been working on. Whatever happens, we're confident we can take out the title, and be remembered as the best ever."
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