"The Show Must Go On!"
 | A Scene From The Controversial New Play |
British Ambassador Determined To Hold Controversial Nativity Play Despite Religious War Outside His Office
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 6TH - A British Ambassador and United Nations special envoy to Palestine has vowed that the Foreign Office Campus Theatre Group he heads will go ahead with plans to conduct a nativity play this festive season, despite the resurfacing of large-scale racial, national and holy war all around him."We will not be deterred from our plans," says the beloved British statesman named Thomas Montessory, reclining in his office chair as a shell careers into the ground outside. "After all, it was in this town two thousand years ago that Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ was born. Is it not fair that we fun-loving Christians should re-enact the virgin birth as we do every year again this festive season?"
The play, for the most part a traditional nativity fare, has drawn criticism however from some corners for its content, including musical numbers offending both Israeli and Palestinian peoples.
"All we wanted to do this year was have a bit of fun with the traditional format, you know, spice it up a bit. I think we've succeeded smashingly.
"When I wrote a song like Hey Jew (Don't Look Now But J.C.'s Dead), I wasn't looking to stir the controversy pot. All I was doing was taking the much-loved Beatles standard and giving it a 'crucifictiony twist'. Similarly with Stop Bombing Christian Sacred Sites, You Dirty Palestinians. It's just a light-hearted look at what's going on today," says Montessory, in defence of his controversial take on the nativity.
"Hang on, you'll just have to excuse me," says the envoy as the phone on his desk rings. Several barked words fly from the other end, then Montessory hangs up.
"Just another death threat," says the envoy, "But it happens all the time. Must be because we're foreign or something, I don't know."
Whether the nativity performance inflames the ire of the conflicting parties in the disputed Israel-Palestine territory remains to be seen. It commences its opening season on December 18th, and Mr Montessory is expected to be returned to Britain in a body bag by December 24th - just in time for Christmas.
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