Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and
drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the
doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a
height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn
on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the
package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio?
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when Iask where the bathroom is?
The Pillsbury doughboy. He's way too happy considering he has nodick.
People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entireroom for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change thechannel manually.
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too."Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at fricken ceiling up there.
The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr.Healey. You're blind for God's sake!
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole you fucking pulled me over!