Love...
The Definition of love can be defined in so many different ways, everyone here that walks on this earth seeks to find perfect love...some of us struggle with failed relationships of what does not accomodate us. Making us bitter or fearful of what we yearn to find, yet we have that moment of hope that we will meet that someone who will ignite those feelings and emotions that lies dormant inside us. And some of us find the truth in our heart, spirit and soul with another person who is our equal and can not live without.
I do not have a true definition of what love really is as I yet have many journeys into the discovery of what love is. I may find this on my own, or I may find it with a special lover who is just as open minded as I am into learning the value of what love is.
What I have learned about love is only from pained experiences in my past...not to be bitter or angry, but to look upon them as trivials and questions that have unfolded into being more spiritual aware of how to love the people around me.
My first experience with love begins with myself and for the very first time did I take the first steps into making sense of what love was supposed to be. My history and experiences go far beyond my age and I could write endlessly of all the errors of where I wronged someone but you and I don't have the time for it.
For me to love was learning to love myself, accepting myself wholly and completely as an individual, all my evils, secrets and truths. Listening to my heart and not to narrow minded, naive people around me. For it was I who had to look at myself in the mirror everyday and wonder what it was that I had to offer someone...and one day I did...and I had nothing. I was really no one, and I was ashamed of that, I could not be like that. What I saw wasn't a happy person, I was miserable, unsatisfied with everyone and everything around me. Most people would of called me a bitch and were fearful of being close to me. How scary is that when your friends fear you?
I needed a change I needed something else in my life, and like a dream I had a revelation of being the most loving caring person anyone would desire to be with. I needed to heal my wounds of my heart, ask myself forgiveness, and share my experiences with people who would be willing to listen and give me the support I needed. I found all these in the friends I had surrounded me when I last thought they could be such people.
I looked upon my son, the boy I gave birth to, the boy who I would die for and give him anything unconditionally as long as he was happy. Then I realized I knew what love was all about and I never saw it. There he was smiling at me and accepting all my flaws and mistakes I ever passed upon him and he loved me no matter what. Unconditional love he had for me like no one else ever did.
I took his gift of love and molded it into my heart, he gave me strength to become a better person, to forgive my past and all the skeletons I had in my closet. If he could be so accepting of who I was for what I was, for all I had been, then why can I learn to love people that way. Give all my gifts of laughter, love and happiness to friends and lovers whom I may have encountered. Asking for nothing in return but for their moment of utter satisfaction that I was all that to them.
What is my gift of love????
Never to deny anyone an ear to be heard, a voice to soothe their pains, arms to hold them, eyes to adore and admire all they were, all they are and all they could be. To give them the gift of hope that they are perfect in my eyes and there is nothing they could say or do to pain me. To live a day with them and explore the world with unending possibilites of what life had to offer. To give them the trust and friendship that they needed so dearly in times of stress and hardships. To give them courage and strength to live their dreams to reality. To stand beside them and share deep secrets to find healing of their heart. To be patient with them as they struggle through all the evils that others may stand in their way with. To nuture them as a growing human being who reaches out to find some sort of stability in their life when there is so much chaos around them.
Love can carry on so many more things...and I am still in search to find them, love is endless and time is what stands against me. With the time I do have I will make completion of all those things I have said, never to deny anyone the heart that will touch them and perhaps change their eye of what love is. For we can all learn about what love and life has to offer us and I am so more than out there to seek it.
I hope that maybe you may learn something about yourself today, that maybe you will find that something in yourself that you never saw. That my words may have touched your soul and heart and filled you with much happiness within yourself. That is my message on love...I can not say anymore...perhaps you can teach me something I might of missed or I have perceived wrong.
Thank you for your time and I hope you find your perfect love.