*Installing Love*

Customer Service Rep: "Can you install LOVE?"

Customer: "I think I can do that. I'm not very

technical, but I think I am

ready to install now. What do I do first?"

CS Rep: "The first step is to open your HEART. Have

you located your HEART ma'am?"

Customer: "Yes I have, but there are several

programs running right now. Is

it okay to install while they are running?"

CS Rep: "What programs are running ma'am?"

Customer: "Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE,

LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and

RESENTMENT.COM running right now."

CS Rep: "No problem. LOVE will automatically erase

PASTHURT.EXE from your

current operating system. It may remain in your

permanent memory, but it

will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will

eventually overwrite

LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called

HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you

have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and

RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs

prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you

turn those off ma'am?"

Customer: "I don't know how to turn them off. Can

you tell me how?"

CS Rep: "My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and

invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do

this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and

RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased."

Customer: "Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started

installing itself automatically.

Is that normal?"

CS Rep: "Yes it is. You should receive a message

that says it will reinstall

for the life of your HEART. Do you see that

message?"

Customer: "Yes I do. Is it completely installed?"

CS Rep: "Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You

need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the

upgrades."

Customer: "Oops... I have an error message already.

What should I do?"

CS Rep: "What does the message say?"

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON

INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What

does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.

It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external

HEARTS but has not yet been run on your

HEART. It is one of those complicated programming

things, but In non-technical terms it means you have to

" LOVE" your own machine before it

can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you find the directory called

"SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files

and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:

FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT,

and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any

conflicting files and begin

patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to

delete SELFCRITIC.EXE

from all directories, and then empty your recycle

bin afterwards to make

sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with

really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right

now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and

CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You

should be able to handle it from here. One more thing

before I go....

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its

various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn

share it with other people and they

will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will share LOVE. Thank you for your

help.