DARK JESTER'S - - - Frequently Asked Questions

Okay, let me just start off by saying that I am NOT actually evil. I have never bit the head off of a bat, made voodoo dolls resembling my enemies, donated to the Democrat National Committee, or subscribed to the Columbia House CD Club. Okay, there was that time that I called the Jehovah's Witness Hall and asked them to send someone out to talk to me at six in the morning on Sunday, and then gave them my neighbor's address, BUT HE STARTED IT!

Anyways, my point of view about life is that, since the dawn of time, men have assumed that the "other" people were evil because they were different. We always assume we are the ones who are good and that other people are evil. But then we subscribe to Columbia House using a false name and then tell them we've moved to some false address in Boston. So we are hypocrites all, except those who live without judgment on others who don't live like we do.

The point is this, for so long people have been called evil when they do all the things they aren't supposed to do, like pulling tags off of pillows, liking pornography, saying the word F**k, being gay, or going to see a Pauly Shore movie. I say that the basis and foundations of our beliefs, which make us see such things as evil, is in and of itself evil or very faulty because it causes us to hate and discriminate unfairly.

We should take pride in the evil things we do and dare to be the things we are. To believe in what we choose, to practice what we wish, to love whoever we want to love, and to feel free enough to just go ahead and turn on Michael Bolton music, get naked, grab a Muscle & Fitness magazine and some hand lotion and have a field day!

The point to life is to respect and treat others as you would want to be treated, so there. And therefore, the very basis we use to prove that "wrong" forms of love, religion, and ways of life are evil . . . well, these very foundations and beliefs are themselves evil. So there. Bite me.

Dare to be who you are and don't be ashamed of what you feel, because it is the shame of your feelings that causes evil, not the feelings themselves. Unless you feel like donating to the Democratic National Committee. In that case, GET HELP!

Well, it's a dirty job but someone has to do it. I know you hear it all the time, that the Republicans are racists, sexists, homophobes, dirty rotten capitalists, who want us all to go to church and eat only unleavened bread and bow down to Ronald Reagan, and all that such, but understand that you're supposed to think these things, and so you do, and that scares me. I don't ever hear TV shows talk about Democrats' scandals and their dishonesties.

I don't want to bend over and take that kind of bias up the rear like all too many simple-minded Kathy Lee Giffords out there have done. Such people are told that we are tearing down trees at such and such a rate and that because of this there will soon be no oxygen and everyone will die and the earth will get knocked out of orbit and we're all going to plunge into the sun and be fried to a crisp......... so we'd all better buy lots of wimpy cars, toilets that don't work, ask the smart dolphins what we should do to save mankind, and vote Democrat or else! And these people think that Christians are crazy for thinking they have to go to church or they'll burn in hell. (Which they are.) But I digress...

Liberals give such outrageous statistics, urge people to a panic frenzy, and nobody checks the numbers to see if they're correct. But let a Republican say that tax CUTS actually raise the amount of money the country earns and that it's really the people's money anyway, and people shout, "PROVE IT!" and then no matter how much proof you actually give them, they ignore it and shout, "You're just a right-winged big fat idiot, and I'll bet you subscribe to Columbia House!"

See, if nothing else, I'd rather have people in office who can't get away with ANYTHING! And that is precisely what the Republicans are. Nobody holds a Democrat accountable. FACT: First day that there was an elected Republican majority, Republicans, for the first time, pushed a law declaring that Congressmen and elected officials MUST live by the same rules that they set on the people of the United States, and FACT: Democrats voted against it. But Bill Clinton and the Democrats all got elected for stirring up hatred against issues politically correct things such as sexual harrassment, throwing red paint on someone wearing a fur coat, and the idea that recycling little styrofoam containers will save the world. Then he's not to be held accountable for the fact he's worse at sexual harrassment and misconduct than Hugh Heffner in a French whorehouse after eating Viagara brownies.

The tactic is to make you think the world is going to end tomorrow unless certain things are done to stop it, and then, because the Republicans know that such measures are STUPID and don't actually work, and are entirely unnecessary, they don't support them. So the people are told that the Republicans, because they don't support the ridiculous bill that "saves" us from death by pollution (but doesn't really), want to kill your children, starve old people, destroy the atmosphere, and make it so that there's no oxygen to breathe. A Republican points out that the Democrats are using such tactics to scare or buy votes, and all the laws the jackasses passed against businesses and the real people who make this country work, and all you hear is, "PROVE IT!" Why don't the Democrats have to prove their numbers when they say the ozone is depleting and we're all going to be Cracklin' Oat Bran nuggets when the sun gets done cooking us?

The point is, they can't and we can! And of course you're supposed to think we're paranoids and extremists when we complain that we never get the type of press that the liberal Democrats do, but I swear to the God or Goddess, or whatever or whoever made all things in existence, that it's freaking TRUE! Sitcoms on ABC and the Disney Channel don't make fun of liberals, but always make Republicans look stupid and foolish. It becomes impossible to have a real discussion about it. All they do is call you a name and the crowd applauds and you never get heard. The Republican points out facts, the Democrat whines about feelings and scares you about paranoid threats that aren't real.

A Democratic plan to save MediCare was to reduce, not the amount of money given to old people in MediCare, but a small decrease in the rate of annual INCREASE (meaning the amount will still increase each year, just not as much) and nobody said anything. When the Republicans actually caved in to be compromising and bipartisan and planned the same thing in their next budget, the people shout, THEY'RE TAKING MONEY AWAY FROM OLD PEOPLE AND MAKING THEM DIE!!!!! but never said such a thing when Clinton proposed the same damn thing! And nobody tells the Democrats to PROVE IT!!! And it's simply not true. I think it should be harder than that to get such a majority of the media to lie for you willingly.

And have you ever noticed that anytime someone whines about partisanship, it's always about Republicans not agreeing with Democrats? Why are Democrats never called partisan when they don't agree or cooperate with us?

The press always asks a Democrat, "What do you think about the Republican accusations against you," to which he states his stupid statistics to "prove" it wrong, and those numbers go unchallenged. But a Democrat makes ridiculous accusations to a Republican, like, "They want old people to starve!" and news media asks not, "What do you make of such and such accusation," but instead will ask, "Why do you want old people to starve?" as though it's FACT, when it's NOT!

Now, does that make any sense? I know you'll accuse me of being a paranoid right-winged maniac, but the more you get to know me, the more you'll see it's not the case. I mean, read the rest of THIS page below and see if I fit your typical right-winged stereotype that you assume all Republicans to be? First thing you'll notice is I'm NOT an Evangelical Christian . The very reason that I don't advocate a Christian agenda or the Christian Creed is because I cannot of clear conscience side with someone who autonomously cannot be challenged and forces you to think like they do just because they say so, which was what the church was for so long. It's un- American. Yet that's what modern Liberalism has become. And trust me that I watch this stuff happen all the time. It is a scary thing. I had to be convinced of its truth, I'm not a Republican blindly because my daddy and my dady's daddy was. I think for myself, and I make a hell of a lot more sense than most people I know about this issue.

So vote Republican, watch FOX NEWS instead of CNN, and eat lots of yummy animal flesh! AND GET A GUN! And I"m sorry that I went so long on the answer there!

I am the leader of the organized collective research of transcendental plasmorgraphic hypo-chondriastic xenotronics and the protective aura that an existentially magnographic telemetric sock puppet emits against a wall of poly-cryogenic electrons in duck-flock formation. Oh, and I also collect souvenir spoons. Okay, that was stupid, I'll get serious now...

I read Clive Barker novels religiously. I love to study Scripture of all different kinds, be it biblical, Qur'an, Mormon, Gnostic, Mandaean, Sumerian, etc. I also enjoy non-fiction books based on documented religions and theories about ancient religions. I thoroughly love Art Bell's radio program and to dive into a study of outrageous topics of the unknown, whether it be ESP, alien abduction, beliefs in ancient astronauts, and so forth. I am learning to read tarot cards, though haven't actually decided to believe in them, and plan to take on the mystic Runes next. Yes, the X-Files rules, and I try to watch it religiously, but I am always missing it. I enjoy designing webpages on these topics and even joining chat rooms to discuss ideas. And I love challenging the unchallengable establishments of the world.

I like to try to write fiction, though I only have one non-fiction short story finished so far. More are hopefully on the way depending on how inspired I am. Much of my fiction will end up being about alternative theologies and weird travels into such matters. I am heavily influenced by the works of Clive Barker, as well as the styles of Stephen King and, believe it or not, the late Lewis Grizzard.

Q Ever find yourself out in the middle of the street and wonder
what it would be like to scream, "I AM A MONKEY! GIVE ME A
BANANA! LET ME EAT YOUR FLEAS!" and see what the
other people in the street would do?

Though I am not a Christian, not at all in the traditional sense anyways, I do study the Christian Scripture and have found amazing answers within them. I don't know if there is a God or what that God may be. I do know that there is no way to prove it either way, so in this way I suppose you could call me agnostic, but then the fact that I am somewhat Gnostic (which means a searcher for knowledge) would almost seem a contradiction in terms.

As far as it goes, there is something that I do know, and therefore it's not quite plausible to call me entirely AGnostic, since that means one who believes there is no knowledge. I don't know if there is a God, but I do KNOW that if there is, it is NOT the God that THEologians have concocted for the sake of controlling people. For this reason I call myself an Anti-theist. An Atheist claims there is no God, but an Anti-THE-ist claims that if there is a God, there is no telling what he would want or who he is, however, every documented reason we have for thinking he is what we traditionally believe he is has been flawed. Therefore, we are against the pushing of any religious document on the authority of God, since we know that his hand was NOT in their making, and that mere opinion should be seen entirely as opinion.

Now what religion I subscribe to is easy to answer: None. I do not know what I believe yet. I believe in love, that much I know. I was a Christian, and I found very little love there. I was an extremely dedicated Christian in a second church, and I found love there, but that love was constatly destroyed by the dedication to the religion. I don't think love can exist inside of a system of beliefs, but merely, love is defined by how much you have NO reason to love someone, and yet simply do just because. When you subscribe to a system, you've blocked out love by your standards and stubborn beliefs. You will find you love someone inside your church walls, but what you love about them isn't them, but are things about them. Those things can change, and then where will the love be?

I do not believe in the bible either, but through it I had found truth. It's not literally true, but its stories are wisely written. So I can read and love the bible and yet not choose to live by it, and I don't consider that bad because I do not consider it God's word, but words of fellow men who I choose to love even if I don't agree with them.

In Gnostic literature found in Egypt was a document referred to as The Thunder, Perfect Mind. It is an odd apocalyptic text, beautifully written, and yet confusing to anyone who cannot look beyond literal truth. The title in and of itself is a stumbling block. But I believe that the forces that have brought us into being are forces we'll never figure out. They are wiser than we are. We built our religions and our religous systems, not it. I trust in those forces we think are chaos. I believe that they build better than we do. In the thunder, I find a more perfect mind than myself.

As I've stated, I was a Christian, and for all ICC members, I was even a disciple at one point. I've been religious. I understand what makes a person become such. And I loved the Bible so much that I was obsessed in study, so much so that my eyes were often reddened by my intense reading of Scripture. But that verse of Romans 9:30-33 was astounding to me.

I grew to understand something about Scripture in a way so radically different than the people around me. I was not raised on, and therefore wasn't bound, by traditional beliefs. I was able to see what the Scripture really said without having preconceptions taint my ability to read and understand. So as I came to believe in Scripture, I was struck and hurt deeply at the accusations of other believers who continuously preached to me things that I knew were in direct contradiction with the bible. (For example, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" is nowhere in there and is hard to Scripturally prove.)

In further study after leaving my religion, I came to understand the bible's real origins, and therefore I stopped believing in Scripture. But the lessons I learned from between the lines stick with me. I would say that, as a nonbeliever, my thought is more in sync with Scripture (or most of it) than believers are.

So, being someone who knew the bible well, and knew well how believers think they believe the bible, I saw the need to use the Scripture against its believers so that they can see their error, since they want to live their lives in line with Scripture just as I once did.

Q Don't you hate it when you're playing with your
Magic: The Gathering cards, and then your mother
barges in and starts yelling that they're Satanic and teaching
wicked thing of demons, but then she gets so mad that
her head starts spinning and her eyes glow red and she spits
an evil ooze everywhere and threatens to slit your throat if you
don't stop playing?

Yes, I once had. At the beginning of the year 1996, as the Olympics were on their way here to Atlanta, I was the most alone I had ever been in my life, or so I thought. I had been conservative my whole life, pretty much, since Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties. I had been listening to Rush Limbaugh's show, but was a nonbeliever. I began to fall in love with the warm feelings of traditions, but I had no one to share them with at all.

I would drink on weekends since I had just turned 21. I didn't do this for long, since drunkenness only made me feel more aware of how alone I was. One day, that year of 1995, a woman from out of nowhere told me that if I was so alone I should attend church. There was one across the street. I couldn't bring myself to enter, but suddenly I wanted to. I went so far as to stand in front of the door, but I was too afraid to go inside because I was always scared of other people. But at the turn of the year, Christmas hit hard and tugged at my heartstrings. And shortly before my mother was in a car wreck coming home from work. Normally I would've been in the passenger seat because we worked in neighboring buildings, but I had called in sick for the first time. I felt so mortal as well as alone. I didn't want to die having never known love.

So finally I was more afraid of being alone than the other people (though that fear was still with me as well). I finally entered that church, and the acceptance happened. This is probably why the bible and religion was my obsession. However I realized something. I was still alone. The people in the building only knew me if I went into the building. Nobody wanted to be involved with me on a more personal level like I needed, and I found I needed not just associates, not even just friends, but a loving guide through life which I've always lacked. Nobody wanted to be this.

When invited to the ICC's church, I went and found myself unable to deny their studies as being truly what the bible really said. I was baptized unto them as well. This truly became the hardest time in my life as I realized that the very people I thought would save me and love me most were the ones who had the best excuses not to.

I left that church only because I was unable to support myself in life and in this world, having never been taught how to. I was lectured at how this was my sin, and I couldn't deny that they were wrong, even when preaching out of the bible. It was not my fault that I was so inflicted.

Left alone from church, the bible was still my obsession. I came to realize that the bible was not the word of God by reading Spong's books. And now I realize something: the people never loved me the way I needed because the bible provided reasons why they shouldn't, just as the bible provided the Jews with a reason why they should hate, ignore, and kill Jesus. (According to the Gospel story that isn't true and didn't really happen.)

So, I'm sure you will assume that I don't accept Jesus as a savior because I'm only judging him by the imperfections of his followers. But I was with people who followed what are supposedly his words flawlessly, most of the time anyways. It's not that, it's that I see it doesn't WORK to take the bible literally. I don't want to participate in shaming Christ by being what most people call a Christian, or even what the bible says that a Christian is. I would rather glorify him by not being a Christian, and instead, being someone who simply loves people for NO GOOD REASON AT ALL, and leans not on a religion to justify my small-minded thoughts.

Truth be known, nobody needs to be saved INTO religion. They need to be saved OUT of it so they can see how their judgmental attitudes make them the devil instead. (See next question for what I mean by that.) There is no good way to prove anything about God at all, and so speculations are to be seen as merely that. The bible is not literally true, and wasn't written to be taken as such. They are beautiful stories, but they are not the only beautiful stories ever told. And the other stories are just as allowable and beneficial to read. We all live different ways. Nobody can prove their way should be the only way. Therefore I feel we should be free to discuss our beliefs openly without it becoming a huge fight. Nothing can or should be pushed. No reason to be ashamed of your beliefs or ideas, and no reason to make others ashamed for theirs. Explore their beliefs and let them explore yours. And mankind will finally get along.

Sure, he and I hang out all the time. I taught him how to dance.

Of course you realize that whenever someone isn't constantly hanging on the bible, bible-thumpers will insist they're a child of Satan and do everything evil. And if the only way to be good is to walk around as foolishly as they do, I'd rather be evil, don't you know.

The most evil thing about man is that he forms groups of agreeing people and then insists that anyone NOT in that group is evil and not as good as they are. This is pretty much a practice of Christianity too, although they would never admit it. But I've seen them in action, and I know it to be fact. Human nature takes over, and people love to feel superior. But to use the bible against the bible people:

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: ...jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group ...Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-21.........
New Living Translation.........

So my point is made. The thing about the Devil is that he is something people use to claim that everyone else is tainted and wrong. And here's where things get weird and ironic: Satan in Hebrew literally means accuser. Satan was originally a character in a fable story. The biblical story of Job. That book was actually written as a protest against snobby religion, as was many other of the Old Testament's Scriptures (Jonah, Ruth, Ecclesiastes) and a great deal of the New as well. Ever wonder why the Jews would have a bible that criticizes themselves so harshly?

The book of Job was never meant to be taken literally true. Satan was a character who accused Job unfairly of being spoiled and challenged God to inflict Job with pain to see if Job will still love God in bad times as well as in good. As Job suffered, all his so-called friends began to rebuke him with the assumption that good people didn't suffer, only bad ones. They accused him of sin and in that way became small Satans (or accusers) themselves.

So the irony is that, whenever a religious nutcase is accusing you of being Satanic or sinful, it is they, the accusers, who are being Satanic themselves!

So here's the weird society we live in. If I answer that question and say no, people will doubt and speculate, while homos will begin to interogate as to whether I'm homophobic. If I were to answer yes, half the people will be offended and the other half will suddenly begin blabbing about how it's okay to be, that it's no different, yada yada yada... and if I don't answer at all, all hell breaks loose. I simply choose not to answer that question. I see no reason why I should. I wished people didn't feel it necessary to wander around asking that to people. Why should it be announced out loud for all to know, I wonder? I can't help but feel as though people want to know so they can judge the person unfairly in certain ways. If one is gay, he will obviously think this way, and if he's not he will think that way. It's ridiculous. So I choose not to answer this question, I hope you don't mind. . .
	It's okay, Dark. There's nothing wrong with being gay. You don't have to hide it if you are.
. Oh great, you're already assuming that I am! You're not going to let this lie are you? You've just got to know. Aren't there better things you can ask, like what my thoughts on the nation's debt are, or something about world peace? No, you've gotta ask me about who I like to sleep with. That's what's wrong with people today. Sex is the only thing on their mind! Sheesh! . .
	What are you, some kind of gay-hater? Why can't you just answer the question? Chicken?
. Look at that! What did I tell you? Without an answer, the accusations have already begun! You assume me to be prejudice? I am the prejudice one? What a crock! I'm the one who simply didn't want to answer because I didn't want to be judged on it, and suddenly I'm already being judged! And if I were to answer, then they've only begun to judge! Let's say I was to say yes, okay... If you were to work with me, and I told you I was, then I'd bet you and your whole gang would refer to me as the gay. You'd use it to assume things about me! You in the little group would be planning a get-together and say amongst yourselves, "I guess we shouldn't invite Ray to this. I don't think he'd be interested in a tractor pull, after all!" Or, "Hey Ray, I got Barbara Streisand tickets!" as though I would just be more than happy to go see that bitch in concert! Look, just get off of it, okay? . .
	No, really, it's okay. Some of my best friends are gay. It's fine if you are.
. Oh for crying out loud, what the hell is that supposed to mean? You have gay friends, so what, that makes you my safe zone if I am? A little creativity here, people! Be less cliché if you will! Or how about this, because you have friends that are gay, and you don't mind, it's okay to be gay? Is that it? Like you're the authority on this? What the hell is wrong with you? You've already assumed I am, and there's absolutely no way to prove that I'm not! People like you still won't leave Ricky Martin alone about it, after all. Even if he said no to it, you'd never hear him. Is it okay if people leave their private lives private? I mean, do I have to beg permission to NOT have the whole world know what I do with my penis? This is absolutely outrageous and stupid. Leave me alone about it already! . .
	Alright, fine. Deny it all you want. You're obviously gay and too chickenshit to admit it.
. Okay fine, I'M A HOMO!!!!!!!!!!! Alright? Are you happy now? Yes, I am a gay man. My god, you're probably just celebrating some kind of victory or something now, aren't you? Now this is going to probably affect all conversation from here on out. For crying out loud, I'm just a normal human being, but thanks to you, opening that can of worms, nobody is going to see anything but THE MAN WHO LIKES TO TONGUE-BATHE THE WILLY WONKA . Thanks alot!

I don't know if you'd call it an obsession exactly. But the fact his book touches on strange supernatural things, and that he's obviously quite educated on religion and the deeper and darker parts of it. As one critic says of him, he's a master of do-it-yourself theology. It is this world or liberation from strict thinking, his ability to create beauty in what we superficially assume to be ugly, his knack of showing natural things in their true natural beauty no matter how primal, these are the reasons I have always obsessed over Clive's work.

Of course you assume it's because he's gay. Yeah, like we fags have to stick together or something! But I will say this. Already a huge Barker fan, I was living refusing to act on my homosexuality because I just thought it was dirty and wrong. The temptation was strong in me, so I assumed I was sick. When I saw the pictures of men having sex with each other, on those occassions when I couldn't resist my forbidden pleasure and sought for such pictures in weakness, I couldn't see anything in those pictures but something horribly wrong. But Clive's novel, Sacrament, which features gay photographer Will Rabjohns as the main character, shown how normal and beautiful a gay person can be. It was so strong that, after reading it, I opened up and dared to search for love. I credit Clive with that. Now those pictures of men together look beautiful to me because I'm able to see more than my formerly religion-stained eyes would allow. Like the apostle Paul, the scales have fallen from my eyes.

No, the question should be, why do you think I should be so gung-ho for it? I once was, you see.

The bible shows a tale of interesting irony. The point most often made in it is that when people think they are the chosen ones of God, they end up becoming the ones that piss him off more than anyone else. And then, in the name of God, these people ended up rejecting God when God was standing right in front of them. The point is, if I remain a non-believer, I have a better chance of making it to heaven than believers do!

What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith; but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it. Why not? Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works. They stumbled over the "stumbling stone."

Romans 9:30-33................

In other words, religious crap didn't accomplish the kind of love it was meant to, but simple when they stopped worrying about such petty crap and stopped acting holier than thou about it all, they found what love really was!

"Blessed are you who have prior knowledge of the stumbling blocks and who flee alien things. Blessed are you who are reviled and not esteemed on account of the love their lord has for them."

The Book of Thomas the Contender................
from the Nag Hammadi Library................

I know you and many people may think the bible is flawless, absolute truth, God-breathed, and all that jazz. But you have to realize that not everyone thinks that, and.... and I know this is the thing you'd never, in a million years, want to admit... but they have good reason to believe it's not! I know that's the most absurd thought in the entire world, to ever think someone would have good reason to doubt the bible's flawlessness, BUT WE DO! We have very good reason.

Now I hear all the whining about how believers are persecuted for their beliefs and blah blah blah, wah wah wah! But doggone it, has it ever occurred to you, ever in a million years, that nonbelievers are persecuted too? Every day in this world a religious family showers someone in their family who doesn't believe with shame, how dare he not believe, like he's some kind of moron for using his own head. The term Atheist was a horrible thing that nobody would want to admit to being, for it would drive them out of social circles and make them hide in shame if they were. But here's an interesting point... you know what apostasy is? Apostasy is when a man abandons his faith. This is why the twelve were known as THE APOSTLES, because they were supposedly men who ABANDONED their faith and were looked down upon for it, just like you look down on a non-believer!

So as much as the bible has been a tool for abuse, I find that the ones using it so are the ones against the bible. And me, in giving it a sense of doubt, showing it for what it really is, am the one who will lend it credibility again! It was never written to be the flawless words of God until scholars got hold of it later on and changed it to appear so. We know that now. We don't think it, we know it. Case closed, it's not the word of God!

Now, it is a beautiful group of texts full of wisdom. And when one stops assuming it's flawless, and regarding it the way stupid religious people have for centuries, they are able to read between the lines and find out what its authors really meant by it. And thereby they are able to know what it really means and live by it.

So maybe it's not me against the bible, but YOU!

MUSIC: I like anything well done. I'll go to a symphony and hear Dvorak and Mozart, my favorites. I'll do the New Age thing with Yanni and Mars Lasar. I go nuts for Celtic and the like, with Loreena McKennitt and Mannheim Steamroller. Country bites, but I do have to admit that I like Travis Tritt and Colin Raye. Love Dave Matthews, Sheryl Crow and Hootie of the VH-1 type groups. Rap sucks, but Wil Smith is da man! Gotta go rock n roll with Hendrix, ZZ Top, Queensrÿche, Def Leppard and Tom Petty. Mostly, I am heavy metal natured, and I love Ministry, Megadeth, Killing Joke, Sepultura, Pantera, and my all-time favorites, WHITE ZOMBIE! And I admit to liking some that many won't, like Michael Bolton, Nelson, and Richard Marx. So I'm hopeless as far as music goes.

MOVIES: Again, as long as it's well done, I usually like it. But mostly I go for intelligent movies. Contact, Stargate, Sixth Sense, Ronin, and Forrest Gump, which is my favorite movie of all time. Titanic was wonderful, so apparently I go for chick-flicks too, like Ghost and Jerry Maguire. But I really love a good sci-fi film, like Star Trek: First Contact, Event Horizon, and Deep Impact (which was better than Armageddon, thank you.) My favorites are Braveheart, Twister, Long Kiss Goodnight, Independence Day, Matrix, and Analyze This.

TV: I don't watch it hardly at all, but when I do, I go for The Daily Show, Ben Stein's Money, and I turn to FoxNews for Hannity and Colmes and the O'Reilly Factor. The only show I am hopelessly loyal to is X-Files.

GAMES: I hate playing games because I suck at them. I have no hand-eye coordination whatsoever, so I end up jabbing at buttons hoping to do something right by accident. Half the time I'm forgetting what button does what, so when I need to stab, I jump or duck or whatever. So I don't play them because they only made me angry and stressed. RPG's only bore me because they're too detailed. And card and board games take up space in the closet because nobody I ever knew wanted to play them. So I'd rather read or watch a movie.

BOOKS: My favorite authors are Clive Barker, Tom Clancy, Koontz and John Shelby Spong. I like to read mostly non-fiction books based on religious history and supernatural topics. My favorite books of all time are Imajica, by Clive, Liberating the Gospels, by Spong, The Hiram Key, by Christopher Knight and Robert Lomas, and Ecclesiastes in the bible.

CELEBRITIES: Rush Limbaugh is the man. But of famous men I'd like to meet are, Reagan, Jean Reno the actor, Yanni, Gary Larson, Kevin Spacey, author Max Lucado, Ben Stein, Bruce Dickinson from the band Iron Maiden, Bishop John Shelby Spong, authors Christopher Knight and Robert Lomas, Rob Zombie, and I would've liked to meet Lewis Grizzard before he died. As for women, Jodie Foster, Barbara Bush, Loreena McKennitt the Celtic musician, and Marilyn Manson, even though he is a guy I put him here because it's like Prince's new name, you don't know what you're supposed to do.