October 5, 2003- There is a new top ten list up that's pretty funny. I had a great weekend...got angry looks from the Fijis, which is always pleasant.

October 1, 2003- Whew this week is crap crap crap. Tests, quizes, papers. At least I got to make fun of FIJI in front of the whole school.
There's a GRRRREAT new picture up, so check it out.

September 30, 2003- I put a few new quotes up for ya...i surely do hope ya'll enjoy 'em. Munster is freezing...I suspect I shall be sick all winter. We still have no heat or hot water. Here's a joke Amelia sent me:

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife says,"Where are you going?"
He said, "I'm going to the doctor."
And she said, "Are you sick?"
He said, "No I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
So his wife gets out of her rocker and puts on her coat.
He said," Where are you going?"
She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."
He said, "Why?"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm going to get a tetanus shot.'

September 10, 2003- Classes start tomorrow...dammit. Living at munster and NOT going to class has been a very pleasant experience...and hopefully it'll still be fun once work begins. I don't really have any real update, but if you want to see my schedule, you can check it out here.

September 8, 2003- Did you hear about the antennas that got married? The wedding sucked but the reception was magnificent.

June 1, 2003- Seriously, why is he all of a sudden Eric RANDOLP Rudolph? I'm sick of these killers with three names. It's getting cliched.

Well I'm going home today...gonna hang out in the ville for a day and then head out to Montana. I'll check my email every week or so, so shoot me some good stuff and I'll get back to you.

May 26, 2003- As much as I hate to use the word......this was the FRATTIEST weekend ever. Holy crap. We were still drinking at 4:30 in the morning. We burned at least a dozen couches. Wert poked his eyeball out trying to get my frisbee out of a tree. Polena kicked the poo (for mclean) out of a large italian guy and I got to insult him to his face while pretending to assuage his anger about a dozen times. Andrew and Steph brought up some friends from Tech and I hope we showed 'em a good time. I think we did.
I'll be back in Martinsville probably Sunday. For a day. Then off to Montucky. Yeah.
No new jokes on the website, but if you want to hear some truly tasteless, horrible jokes, IM me. (deathloc is the worst name of all time by the way).

There's a new story up after all....8:09pm

May 20, 2003- Friends from home: come up here saturday. Campout, burning 11 couches, we have 9 kegs, several live bands. Should be sweet.

Check out the new top ten list.

May 17, 2003- Check out the "Quotes from my friends" part of the site for some great stuff I heard some of the odd squad say while robotripping. Really funny, really weird shit.

May 15, 2003- Now I'm quite sick. Which still blows. But I'm seeing The Matrix: Reloaded tomorrow afternoon, so that should do wonders for me.
There is a brand spanking new story up, so be sure to check that out.

May 13, 2003- Well I'm kinda sick, which blows. Gotta tone down the lifestyle a bit maybe. I certainly can't go out any less, so I guess the drinking and smoking of ceegars has gotta be reduced.
I went backpacking with McLean and John over the weekend- it was awesome except for the cooler kinda flipping over and soaking my sleeping bag....at least the beers stayed cold. We're gonna try to hit up Mt. Rogers this coming weekend.
Six of the seven dwarfs were sitting around the table having dinner when Sleepy comes running in. "We finally get to meet him!" He shouts. They all get excited... The next day the seven dwarfs are standing in front of the pope. Dopey's out in front. They start pushing Dopey telling him to ask him. The pope looks down at Dopey and say"Do you have a question for me my son?" Dopey looks down at his feet and nods. "Do they have nuns in Alaska?" The Pope looks at him sort of funny and says that he's sure there are nuns in Alaska. The other dwarfs tell impatiently to ask him the rest. The Pope looks at Dopey and says "Is there more to your question son?" Dopey looks shyly at his feet and nods. "Are there black nuns in Alaska?" The pope again looks at him funny and says that he's sure that there are black nuns in Alaska. Now, the dwarfs are getting annoyed and tell him to ask the rest. "More?" the pope askes. "Are there black midget nuns in Alaska?" The pope gives Dopey that funny look again and says "I'm sorry son but i don't think there are black midget nuns in alaska." Dopey turns beet red and the other dwarfs start chanting "DOPEY SCREWED A PENGUIN!"

May 6, 2003- Whew it's been a pretty sweet May so far! Last week I sober drove for PhiDelt for about 160 miles...meet some nice folks and some real assholes. Got 60 bucks. Sweet.
Friday I decided that I wanted to thank my friends for being friends and to celebrate a whole year without administrative conflict for me with the First Annual Get Sanford Kicked Out Of School Bash. Turnout was great, I missed ya'll that didn't come. We followed up that pleasant cocktail party with several kegs and many shitty, shitty alumni, along with a few cool ones.
Later that night I was chosen by my peers to be inducted into the Maddog club with JP, Joe, and Ogle. For those of you that don't know about it, I guess I'll give a brief explanation. The Maddog club members buy each inductee two MD 20/20s, a White Lightning and a Red Grape, which are a each a fifth of 17 and 18 percent fortified wine. Then they heat 'em up in the oven. Then you have to drink 'em really fast. I wasn't really into it on the first one, but I finished it in a minute or two. The second time around, it was really hot, but I gave into hate and destroyed it with the only good chugging I've ever done. Anyways, it got me introduced to quite a few girls and I managed to insult and pick a fight with pretty much every alumni I met, so that was nice.
Saturday afternoon we had a sweet cocktail party with the always awesome Jangling Reihnolds or BS&M or whatever it is they call themselves now. I got a little tanked and picked more fights with alumni. Guys with names like Bear and Yeti. Treco got hit on by our gay alumni. It was a fun afternoon. Then Stephanie and Andrew showed up for our coverband party that night and we (yes, including Andrew who chugs beer like a mofo and shoots firewater like grape juice) got really drunk and rocked out to our okay band and then later at Beta's horrible Stones coverband. Thanks for coming to see me, it makes me miss the whole old gang.
So....that was my weekend. I left a buncha funny stuff because the language was very naughty by which of course I mean I'm tired of typing.
Check out this killer sound machine: MONITON

April 29, 2003- I LOVE SPRING TERM! This is about as happy as I've been since Montana. I love taking the dig, I'm out playing in the dirt from 8:30 to 3:30 or so, and then I'm back here fishing or playing volleyball till it gets dark. Hells yeah.
ANNOUNCEMENT: I am throwing the First Annual "Get Sanford Kicked Out Of School" Bash in honor of the anniversary of my somewhat honorable discharge from the university one year ago this week. I'm leaning torwards having it friday evening, at one of Pika's off campus houses. Depending on my funds and how much time I have to get shit together, I think we're gonna have jello shots, lots of liqour, perhaps some beer bonging, and some snacks. So all former, present, and future friends, as well as ladies looking to sex me up, should come to the party, because I promise good times.
This is sooo wrong

April 24, 2003- Winter term was horrible, my grades were terrible, I might not be here next year, and I don't want to talk about it.
Spring break was pretty fun except I got sick. I blame Charlie. My house was destroyed the third day...I turned into a sweeper, mopper, locksmith, carpenter, launderer, dishwasher, etc. I'm so domestic. The break was definitely not very extreme, probably due to Harcus not being there.
Spring term should be great, I'm taking the dig and horsemanship. Good times.

April 23, 2003- Haha, I didn't really update it, SUCKER! For those of you searching for links, here is:

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("gay word" is very similar to "Jay Ward".....weird.)







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