| if you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife" | if you want a 16X CDROM for Christmas |
| if you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie | if you window shop at Radio Shack |
| if Dilbert is your hero | if you can name 6 Star Trek episodes |
| if the only jokes you receive are through e-mail | if you own "Official Star Trek" anything |
| if your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place | if you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys |
| if, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string | if you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car |
| if you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project | if your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner |
| if your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies | if you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area |
| if you carry on a ninety minute debate over the expected results of a test that actually will only take five minutes to execute | if you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud |
| if you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is | if you know the direction the water swirls when you flush |
| if your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50 | if you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside |
| if a team of you and your coworkers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception | if you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts |
| if you see a good design and still have to change it | if you truly believe aliens are living among us |
| if you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance | if you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is" |
| if you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal | if the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions |
| if you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers | if the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind |
| if you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are | if you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires |
| if you can't remember where you parked your car for the third time this week | if you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work |
| if you have introduced your kids by the wrong name | if your IQ number is bigger than your weight |
| if you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it | if you have more friends on line than in real life |
| if you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary | if you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for |
| if you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use | if you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting |
| if people groan at the party when you pick out the music | if you have more toys than your kids |
| if your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone | if you did the sound system for your senior prom |
| if you know what http:/ stands for | if you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio |
| if your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory | if your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate |
| if you are convinced you can really build a Phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment | if whenever the microphone and/or visual aids at a meeting do not work, you rush right up to the front to fix it |