Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of the purple-headed friend,
And she tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend.
Curve, that is.
Tossed the nub, In the shrub.

She went to the law and confessed to the attack
And they called out the dogs just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "Over there"
To John Wayne's henry that was waiving in the air.
Found, that is.
By a fence, evidence.

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart for long,
So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix your dong!
A needle and thread is all we're gonna need.
And the whole world waited 'till they heard that Johnny peed.
Whizzed, that is.
Even stream, straight stream.

Well heald and hardened and he took his case to court,
With a half-assed lawyer, cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.
Video, that is.
Unexposed. Case Closed.

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?