Talk Show Subject: Unlike the Kennedys, some topics just won't die...

Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy?
Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing"

How will the priest begin Michael Kennedy's eulogy?
"We are gathered here together on this slalom occasion...."

A simple accident? Some witnesses insist there was a second tree at the snow-covered knoll...

How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy?
Check the family tree.

What do Michael and JFK Jr's magazine "George" have in common?
Wood pulp.

New bumper sticker....
"Plant A Tree....Kill A Kennedy...."

What's an event you don't want to be at?
A Michael Kennedy New Year's Bash

What will it take to reunite the four Kennedy brothers?
A: One more bullet. B: A season lift pass.

Police reported Sonny's passing was a quick death.
Just like his solo career....

How was the body found?
Sonny side up.

How do we know Sonny was a politician at heart?
At the very end, he was stumping.

What's the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi!

Diana's new title:
Princess of Walls

What did the Queen say when she heard Princess Diana died in a car accident?
Was Fergie with her?

Why was Elton John invited to the funeral?
So at least one old queen would be seen crying in public.

Why did Elton John perform at the funeral?
The Crash Test Dummies were unavailable.

What does George Burns and Princess Diana have in common?
They both died when they hit 100.

What's harder than getting red wine off carpeting?
Getting Di off the upholstery.

What was the official cause of Princess Diana's death?
Car-pole-tunnel syndrome.

Why was Louise Woodward fired from her new job at McDonald's after only one week?
She kept giving kids free shakes.