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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to
get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." |
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| Farmer's Bride | Condom Packaging | ||||
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A woman was in bed having sex with her husband's best friend when all of
a sudden the telephone rings and she answers.
After hanging up she says, "That was Jason, but don't worry. He won't be home for a while.... He's playing cards with YOU." |
This guy walked up to the lady behind the
counter and said, "Do you keep stationery?"
She said, "Well, right up to the last minute, then my toes curl up and I turn into an animal." |
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| The Perfect Day For Her | The Perfect Day For Him | ||||
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There were these two ovaries and they were cleaning their house
when they heard a knock at the door. "I'll get the door" says the first Ovary. She looks out the peephole and says; "Did you order furniture?" No why?" asks the other Ovary. "Because there two nuts at the door trying to shove in an organ!" |
The New York Times, among other papers, recently published
a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding.
Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene... |
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| IRS | Self Stimulation | ||||
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A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns
to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and his
elbow pokes her in the breast. They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." |
An immigrant from Czechoslovakia went to an eye doctor for a checkup. The
doctor started with some simple testing showing him a standard eye chart with
the letters: CRKBNWXSKZY
The doc asked, "Can you read that?" Czech says, "Read it? Hell, Doc, I know him!" |