I want to pay back
all the joy he's provided
Returning each deed~
Oh, he'll be so excited

When I'm an old lady
and live with my son~
I'll write on the wall
with red, white, and blue

and bounce on the furniture
Ya, wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton
and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets
and oh, will he shout!

When I'm an old lady
and live with my son~
When he's on the phone
and just out of reach,
I'll get into things
like sugar and bleach.
Oh, he'll snap his fingers
and then shake his head,
and when things get tuff
I'll hide under the bed.

When I'm an old lady
and live with my son~

I'll sit close to the TV,
thru the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both my eyes
to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks
and throw one away,
and play in the mud
until the end of the day.

When I'm an old lady
and live with my son~

And later, in bed,
I'll lay back and sigh,
and thank God in prayer
and then close my eyes;
and my son will look down
with a smile slowly creeping,
and say with a groan,
"She's so sweet when she's sleeping."

When I'm an old lady
and live with my son