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A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his crotch.
The bartender says, "Hey buddy - you know you have a steering wheel
sticking out of your crotch?" The guy says, "Yeah - It's driving me nuts." |
A cowboy on a dude ranch watched one of the guests trying to
saddle a horse. "Pardon me," he said politely, "but you're
putting the saddle on backwards." "What makes you so sure?" the guest asked angrily. "You don't even know in which direction I'm going." |
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| You might be a geek if... | Surprised Son | |||||
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T-Shirt slogan:
Your Ugly I can Diet |
Bumper Sticker:
for White House Physician |
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| Jesus -v- The Devil | Missing Ladle | |||||
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A kid goes into barber shop and orders his very long hair cut to the roots.
Older bystander laughingly asks him how much weight he has lost in doing this.
Kid says he estimates about 135 pounds! "135 pounds!" says the bystander with a surprised look on his face. "Yep, that's about what my Mom weighs, and she is off my back about this hair," says the kid! |
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| Before Viagara | Scotch Taster | |||||
| Two teachers were out for a coke after Friday afternoon classes dismissed. Says one to the other, "If there is anything to this reincarnation business, I'd love to come back as a childhood disease." | While out on the golf course, a gentleman suddenly falls over on the ninth green. "Heart attack", he calls over to a friend, who then races off to find help. The friend returns shortly, panting slightly, and says "Don't worry, I found a doctor on the third hole who can help you, and they are going to let him play thru." | |||||
| Horrible Deaths | Arrested |