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Did you hear about the blonde who was sniffing nutrasweet? She thought it was diet coke. |
I used to be clueless but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees. |
| I Saw | Accident Reports |
| Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned. | A woman finds her husband is packing his suitcase. She asks: "What are you doing?" He replies: "I'm off to Hawaii - there they pay you $100 each time you make love. She begins to pack. "And where are you going?" "I'm coming to Hawaii to see how you get by on $200 a year..." |
| For The voyeur in us all | Couples Camping |
| If I'm the best man, why is she marrying HIM? | Its not that life is so short, its that death is sooo long. |
| The Ballerina | Depressed Woman |
| Once you have surgery and get the bill for it, you will automatically have a new and deeper appreciation of why it is that the doctor wears a mask when doing it! | The real trouble with telling a fairly decent story which will make people laugh is that someone in the group of listeners will be reminded of another story which will completely undo what has just been done. |
| Cheating | Marry Me |
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Two old men are comparing their sex lives: Man 1: I can still do it twice! Man 2: Which time do you enjoy the most? Man 1: I think the winter. |
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their
right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other hooks his thumb behind him says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back." |
