| If you can't look at the rear of an elephant and smile, you're taking life too seriously! | If you can't look at the rear of an elephant and smile, you're taking life too seriously! |
| Ships At Sea | Want A Puppy |
| I'm not under the alcofluence of inhol as some theople might pick. But the drunker I stay here, the longer I get. | I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years. |
| Things Not To Say To Pregnant Wife | Gay Golfers |
| Procrastinate now! | I am not sincere, even when I say I am not. |
| God Sues Devil | Little Weenie |
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"It's eight o'clock, sir!" "Why the devil didn't you tell me that before?" |
"Who is the oldest inhabitant of this village?" "We haven't got one; we had one, but he died three weeks ago." |
| Fishing Bait | Winnie Pooh |
| "Hey, somebody cut the end off this rope!" | Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down. |
| When Women Say... | Newleyweds |
| A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its printed on. | Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded. |