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Why are men like lawn mowers? If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it. |
What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch! |
| Blind Pilots | Special Bar |
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How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix? It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn't need it anyway. |
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. |
| Cripple Pee | Bad/Worse |
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How do we know men invented maps? Who else would make an inch into a mile? |
How does a man keep his youth? By giving her money, furs and diamonds. |
| Rodney Dangerfield | Country Songs |
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What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men? Wife saying she wants to talk to him. |
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment? A mental hospital |
| Preacher and Bear | Phone Ladies |
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How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" |
How do we know God is a man? Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate. |
| Math Doctor | Feel Old? |
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What's the difference between "Ooooh!" and "Aaahhhh!"? About four inches. |
What's the difference between a 'dog' and a 'fox'? About eight pints of beer. |