MEN FIGHT BACK

(hey i posted the slams against the men so turn about is fair play...I think =)..)

How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're gonna want to shoot it.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the font door, who do you let in first? The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don't like to interrupt her.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... Wedding cake.

Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffe-ring.

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days. "She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."