BLONDE JOKES


There was a blonde girl standing in front of a pop machine. She put in 50 cents, pressed the Diet Coke button and out came a Diet Coke. Next she put in a dollar, pressed Coca Cola Classic. And out came a Coca Cola Classic, plus 50 cents. She picked up the 50 cents and put it in the machine. Then she pressed Mountain Dew. Out came a Mountain Dew.
Mean while, this dude was waiting ever so patiently behind her. Finally he asked, "Are you almost done?"
To which the blonde girl replied, "Are you crazy? I'm still winning!"


A blonde is driving the wrong way down a one-way street late at night. There is a cop sitting across the street, and he sees this, so he pulls her over. He walks up to the window and bends down to ask for her driver's license.
She looks at him stupidly and says, "Driver's license? What's that??"
He tells her "It's the little rectangular thing with your picture on it, that says you can drive a car."
"OH DUH!!! OK... Here ya go!" He looks at it and then asks if he can see her proof of insurance. She looks at him, even more confused than before, and says, "Insurance? What's that?"
He rolls his eyes and tells her, "It's the little piece of paper that says if you have a wreck, that someone is going to pay for the damage.
"OH DUH!!! OK... I know what that is now... Here ya go!"
He starts thinking how dumb this woman is, and glances around to see if anyone else is around or might see what's going on, but no one is, so he unzip his pants, and pulls it out. She looks at him, looks at it, and exclaims,
"OH NO! Not another breathalyzer test!"  


  Three blondes are walking on the beach.. Find genie lamp...
Genie says "look girls, there are three of you.. so only ONE wish each!
1st blonde says "Genie, I think that I would like to be a little bit smarter"
... POOF!!! She is a REDHEAD!
2nd blonde says "Genie,... I think I would like to be a little smarter still!"
...POOF!!! She is a BRUNETTE!
3rd blonde says "Genie... I have been a blonde ALL my life!..Men buy me cars,..give me money,...and jewels... I think I would like to be a little DUMBER!!"
...POOF!!! She is a MAN!!


Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes


Q: Do you know how to drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to alphabetize them


Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out the W's


A blonde is out in the country and driving along and she sees another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a cornfield. The blonde stops her car and walks over to the edge of the corn field. She yells to the blonde in the boat, "What are you doing?"
The blonde in the boat replies, "I'm testing my row boat to see if it will sink"
The blonde at the edge of the cornfield throws her hands in the air in anger, "You know its dumb blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name. And if i could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass"