Dictionary of Dating

• Attraction
  The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
• Birth Control
  Avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
• Dating
  The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
• Easy
  A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
• Eye Contact
  A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
• Friend
  A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
• Indifference
  A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
• Interesting
  A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
• Irritating Habit
  What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
• Law Of Relativity
  How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
• Love At First Sight
  What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
• Nymphomaniac
  A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.
• Sober
  Condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.