|
The Game of Romance
Point Values by Category
Handicap: You May Begin with 50 points (you'll probably need them!)
Simple Duties
| You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty
liners with wings: |
|
+5 |
| But return with beer: |
|
-5 |
| You check out a suspicious noise at night: |
|
0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: |
|
0 |
| You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: |
|
+5 |
| You pummel it with a six iron: |
|
+10 |
| |
|
|
|
It's her father:
|
|
-10 |
Social Engagements
| You stay by her side the entire party: |
|
0 |
| You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
with a college drinking buddy: |
|
-2 |
| Named Tiffany: |
|
-4 |
| Tiffany is a dancer: |
|
-6 |
| Tiffany has implants |
|
-8 |
Saturday Afternoons
| You visit her parents: |
|
+1 |
| You visit her parents and actually make conversation: |
|
+3 |
| You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: |
|
-3 |
| And the television is off: |
|
-6 |
| You spend the afternoon watching college football
in your underwear: |
|
-6 |
| |
|
|
| And you didn't even go to college: |
|
-10 |
| And it's not really your underwear: |
|
-15 |
Her Birthday
| You take her out to dinner: |
|
0 |
| You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports
bar: |
|
+1 |
| Okay, it is a sports bar: |
|
-2 |
| And it's all-you-can-eat night: |
|
-3 |
| It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: |
|
-10 |
| You give her a gift: |
|
0 |
| You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance:
|
|
-10 |
| You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: |
|
+1 |
| You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: |
|
+2 |
| You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for
months: |
|
+30 |
| You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift
that day: |
|
-10 |
| With her credit card: |
|
-30 |
| And whatever you bought is two sizes too big: |
|
-40 |
Thoughtfulness
| You forget to pick her up at the bus station: |
|
-25 |
| Which is in Newark, New Jersey: |
|
-35 |
| And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: |
|
-50 |
A Night Out with Your Pals
| You have a few beers: |
|
-9 |
| For every beer after three: |
|
-2 |
| And miss curfew by an hour: |
|
-12 |
| You get home at 3 a.m.: |
|
-20 |
| You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap
cigars: |
|
-30 |
| And not wearing any pants: |
|
-40 |
| Is that a tattoo? |
|
-200 |
A Night Out, Just The Two of You
| You go see a comic: |
|
+2 |
| He's crude and sexist: |
|
-2 |
| You laugh: |
|
-5 |
| You laugh too much: |
|
-10 |
| She's not laughing: |
|
-15 |
| You laugh harder: |
|
-25 |
Driving
| You lose the directions on a trip: |
|
-4 |
| You lose the directions and end up getting lost: |
|
-10 |
| You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: |
|
-15 |
| You get lost in a bad part of town & meet the
locals up close & personal: |
|
-25 |
| She finds out you lied about having a black belt:
|
|
-60 |
Communication
| When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen,
displaying what looks like a concerned expression: |
|
0 |
| When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: |
|
+5 |
| You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking
at the television or picking up a newspaper: |
|
+10 |
| She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: |
|
-10 |
|
