• What G-d Is (PG)
A confused nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?"

After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "God is both male and female."

This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"

She responds along the same line, "God is both black and white."

This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"

The mother becomes concerned, but answers nonetheless, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."

At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding, a knowing look comes into his eyes, and he triumphantly asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"
 


• Jesus vs. Elvis:
Amazing Comparisons! (G)
Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA, 1956)

Jesus is the Lords's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

Mary, an important woman in Jesus' life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis' life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.

Jesus said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.
 


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