On Scots: The Humor Culled

• Wooly Jokes on Scots (PG-13: Subject) The bitter winter was almost over. One Scottish shepherd turned to the other and confessed that he could hardly wait until it was time to shear their flocks.
The other shepherd nodded, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "It's great selling the wool in the market and spending some of the money on booze and women, eh?"
"That's not it," said his companion. "I just can't WAIT to see them naked!"
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by Jason Lindsay:

Q: What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?
A: Mick Jagger says, "Hey you, get off of my cloud", and a Scotsman says, "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"