• A bus station is where a bus stops.
   A train station is where a Train stops
   On my desk, I have a work station....

• If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

• What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

• I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

• I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me: they were cramming for their finals....

• I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

• Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
   What are we supposed to do--write to these men?
   Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps, so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

• How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

• If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

• Clones are people two.

• If a man says something in the woods, and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

• Go ahead and take risks--just be sure that everything will turn out OK.

• If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

• Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

• Think "honk" if you're telepathic.

• If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

• If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

• I went for a walk last night, and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."

• So what's the speed of dark?

• How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?

• After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

• Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

• If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

• I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

• Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

• Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

• Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

• How come abbreviated is such a long word?

• If it's zero degrees outside today, and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

• Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?