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• Yo momma so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up • Yo momma so fat, her nickname is "DAMN". • Yo momma so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks. • Yo momma so fat, we're in her right now. • Yo momma so fat, people jog around her for exercise. • Yo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. • Yo mamma so fat, you haveta roll over twice to get off her. • Yo momma so fat, she was in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world. • Yo momma so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop! • Yo momma so fat, when she has sex, she has to give directions! • Yo momma so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" • Yo momma so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. • Yo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway. • Yo momma so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller • Yo momma so fat, she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets • Yo momma so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too • Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! • Yo momma so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" • Yo momma so fat, she fell in love and broke it. • Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. • Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. • Yo momma so fat, she's got her own area code! • Yo momma so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! • Yo momma so fat, God couldn't light Earth till she moved! • Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! • Yo momma so fat, her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! • Yo momma so fat, I had to take a train to get on the bitch's good side! • Yo momma so fat, she wakes up in sections! • Yo momma so fat, when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! • Yo momma so fat, she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! • Yo momma so fat, when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! • Yo momma so fat, when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell! • Yo momma so fat, when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! • Yo momma so fat, she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! • Yo momma so fat, that her senior picture had to be arial view! • Yo momma so fat, she's on both sides of the family! • Yo momma so fat, everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! • Yo momma so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips! • Yo momma so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks! • Yo momma so fat, she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! • Yo momma so fat, she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! • Yo momma so fat, she got hit by a parked car! • Yo momma so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! • Yo momma so fat, she has a run in her blue-jeans! • Yo momma so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets. • Yo momma so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up. • Yo momma so fat, she influences the tides. • Yo momma so fat, that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. • Yo momma so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her. • Yo momma so fat, when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. • Yo momma so fat, the AIDS quilt wouldn't cover her. • Yo momma so fat, she stands in two time zones. • Yo momma so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through. • Yo momma so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. • Yo momma so fat, that she cant tie her own shoes. • Yo momma so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs. • Yo momma so fat, when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back! • Yo momma so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures. • Yo momma so fat, she put on some BVD's, and by the time they reached her waist, they spelled out "boulevard". • Yo momma so fat, that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean. • Yo momma so fat, that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse. • Yo momma so fat, that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. • Yo momma so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts. • Yo momma so fat, she was Miss Arizona--class Battleship. • Yo momma so fat, to her "light food" means under 4 Tons. • Yo momma so fat, the Himalayas are practice runs to prepare for her. • Yo momma so fat, she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals! • Yo momma so fat, she stepped on a talking scale, and it told her to get the fuck off! • Yo momma so fat, and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ! • Yo momma so fat, she was zoned for commercial development. ============== SO STUPID ============= • Yo momma so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. • Yo momma so stupid, it took her half an hour to make minute rice. • Yo momma so stupid, she threw a brick at the floor and missed. • Yo momma so stupid, when she saw the NC-17 sign, she went home and got 16 friends. • Yo momma so stupid, that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind. • Yo momma so stupid, she hears it's chilly outside, so she gets a bowl. • Yo momma so stupid, you have to dig for her IQ! • Yo momma so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved! • Yo momma so stupid, that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! • Yo momma so stupid, she could trip over a cordless phone! • Yo momma so stupid, she sold her car for gasoline money! • Yo momma so stupid, she bought a solar-powered flashlight! • Yo momma so stupid, she thinks a quarterback is a refund! • Yo momma so stupid, she took a cup to see Juice. • Yo momma so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911" • Yo momma so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot out. • Yo momma so stupid, she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. • Yo momma so stupid, she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. • Yo momma so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. • Yo momma so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes weekends too!" • Yo momma so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. • Yo momma so stupid, when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! • Yo momma so stupid, she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! • Yo momma so stupid, she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! • Yo momma so stupid, when she went to take the 6 train, she took the 3 twice. • Yo momma so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up. • Yo momma so stupid, she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. • Yo momma so stupid, she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. • Yo momma so stupid, she couldn't read an audio book • Yo momma so stupid, it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch. • Yo momma so stupid, it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus >>>Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper • Yo momma so stupid, she went to Disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left", so she went home. • Yo momma so stupid, she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, and I said, "Guess," so she said Levi's. • Yo momma so stupid, she called information to get the number for 411. (and when the operator said "Hold one minute", the bitch counted to 60 and hung up!) ============= SO UGLY ================ • Yo momma so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." • Yo momma so ugly, she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. • Yo momma so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it." • Yo momma so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. • Yo momma so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower. • Yo momma so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck. • Yo momma so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. • Yo momma so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras. • Yo momma so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her. • Yo momma so ugly, her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. • Yo momma so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday. • Yo momma so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. • Yo momma so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes ON in strip joints. • Yo momma so ugly, she made an onion cry. • Yo momma so ugly, when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours--for a quote! • Yo momma so ugly, she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out! • Yo momma so ugly, she looks out the window and gets arrested! • Yo momma so ugly, even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! • Yo momma so ugly, Ted Danson wouldn't date her! • Yo momma so ugly, for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! • Yo momma so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone! • Yo momma so ugly, people go as her for Halloween. • Yo momma so ugly, that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her. • Yo momma so ugly, she scares the roaches away. • Yo momma so ugly, I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. • Yo momma so ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. • Yo momma so ugly, your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather kiss her ass. • Yo momma so ugly, she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow • Yo momma so ugly, she has to sneak up on a glass of water ============= SO OLD ================ • Yo momma so old, I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died. • Yo momma so old, her social security number is 1! • Yo momma so old, that when God said let there be light, she hit the switch. • Yo momma so old, that when she was in school there was no history class. • Yo momma so old, she's in Jesus's yearbook! • Yo momma so old, her birth certificate says expired on it. • Yo momma so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. • Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper. • Yo momma so old, her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. • Yo momma so old, she's blind from the big bang. ============= SO POOR ================ • Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to pay attention! • Yo momma so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers. • Yo momma so poor, when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" • Yo momma so poor, she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. • Yo momma so poor, your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. • Yo momma so poor, her face is on the front of a foodstamp. • Yo momma so poor, she wave around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. • Yo momma so poor, burglars break in her house and leave money. ==============SO DIRTY ============== • Yo momma so dirty, she has to creep up on bathwater. • Yo momma so dirty, she went to night school and was marked absent! • Yo momma so dirty, that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. • Yo momma so dirty, she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers. • Yo momma so dirty, when people refer to Darkness coming in the future they refer to her next visit. • Yo momma so dirty, they made a movie of her heart transplant called "From the Darkest Heart of Africa." ==============SO SHORT ========== • Yo momma so short, you can see her feet on her drivers license! • Yo momma so short, she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. • Yo momma so short, she can play handball on the curb. • Yo momma so short, she does backflips under the bed. • Yo momma so short, she models for trophys. • Yo momma so short, she pole vaults with a toothpick. • Yo momma so short, she has to look up to look down. ============== SO NASTY ============= • Yo momma so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down. • Yo momma so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left. • Yo momma so nasty, she has to creep up on bathwater. • Yo momma so nasty, she made Sure confused. • Yo momma so nasty, that her sh*t is glad to escape. • Yo momma so nasty, she went swimming and now we have the dead sea • Yo momma so nasty, she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease. =============== SO HAIRY ============== • Yo momma so hairy, when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt • Yo momma so hairy, she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock. • Yo momma so hairy, Bigfoot is taking her picture! • Yo momma so hairy, she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro! • Yo momma so hairy, she shaves with a weedwhacker =============== SO GREASY ============= • Yo momma so greasy, she used bacon as a band-aid! • Yo momma so greasy, she sweats Crisco! ============ TEETH SO YELLOW ========== • Yo momma teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles! • Yo momma teeth are so yellow, she spits butter! • Yo momma teeth are so yellow, I can't believe its not butter. =============== SO LAZY ============== • Yo momma so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. ============== SO SKINNY ============== • Yo momma so skinny, she has to wear a belt with spandex. • Yo momma so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared. =============== SO BALD =============== • Yo momma so bald, you can see what's on her mind. • Yo momma so bald, that she took a shower and got brain-washed. =============== SO TALL ================ • Yo momma so tall, she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth. =============== SO FLAT ================ • Yo momma so flat, she's jealous of the wall! =========== GLASSES SO THICK =========== • Yo momma's glasses are so thick, that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. • Yo momma's glasses are so thick, she can see into the future. ============= HAS ================ • Yo momma has one leg and a bicycle. • Yo momma has one hand and a Clapper. • Yo momma has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back. • Yo momma has green hair and thinks she's a tree. • Yo momma has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying. • Yo momma has 10 fingers--all on the same hand. • Yo momma has a glass eye with a fish in it. • Yo momma has a short leg and walks in circles. • Yo momma has a short arm and can't applaude. • Yo momma has no ears--I seen the bitch trying on sunglasses. • Yo momma has an ass soo big she has to shit in a dumpster. =========== HOUSE SO SMALL ================ • Yo momma house so small, she has to go outside to eat a large pizza. • Yo momma house so small, you have to go outside to change your mind. ============ HOUSE SO DIRTY ================ • Yo momma house so dirty, she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside. ============= HEAD SO SMALL ================ • Yo momma head so small, she use a tea-bag as a pillow. • Yo momma head so small, that she got her ear pierced and died. ============== MISCELLANEOUS =============== • Yo momma breath so bad, when she yawns her teeth duck. • Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. • Yo momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice. • Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. • Yo momma hair so nappy, she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. • Yo momma so clumsy, she got tangled up in a cordless phone. • Yo momma so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. • Yo momma twice the man you are. • Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. • Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9. • Yo momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. • Yo momma middle name is Rambo. • Yo momma in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna push me 'round no more." • Yo momma is so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. • Yo momma is in a wheelchair screaming "I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS SHIT." • Yo momma threw a frisbee three weeks ago that hasn't landed yet. • Yo momma referees bar fights without a shirt on. • If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards. |
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