Elderly Lady and Parrot
One day this elderly lady goes to the pet shop to
buy a pet for companionship. After looking over
all of the animals, she decides that the pet store
owners prices are too high. But as she starts to
leave, the owner whisks over and finally sells
her a talking parrot-with the birdcage, for a very
low price. She asks what such a low price and
the owner replies that when the parrot gets
excited-he swears.
She: I can't have swearing in my house! I am a
catholic!
He: Well the minute he begins to swear, grab
the bottom of the birdcage and spin the cage
and he will stop swearing immediately
She: I don't have time to train a parrot, I have
Fr. Giroux coming for tea this afternoon at 3 and
it's already 1pm!
He: You don't have to train him, he will respond
to the spinning of the cage now
She: I don't know...
He: Well I'll knock off $20.00 more bucks and
that will make it $50.00 for the parrot and the
cage. How about it?
She: He is already trained?
He: Watch this.
The owner runs up to the cage and then jumps
up and down while hollering crazy sounds.
Within seconds the bird says "Quit the shit, Quit
the shit"
The owner spins the cage and immediately the
parrot stops talking!
She: Well ok... "I'll buy the parrot
When she gets home, she sets the cage in the
corner of the parlor, behind her chair and turns
on the TV. There is a cop show on and bullets
are flying. All of a sudden the bird starts saying
"Quit the shit-Quit the shit" So the woman gets
up and spins the cage and the bird stops talking
immediately.
A while later the doorbell rings (which makes
the parrot a little nervous) Then he hears
another strange sound (the priest voice as he
talks) Then they both sit down in the parlor (a
strange person is in the room) so the parrot
gets too nervous and starts saying "Quit the
shit-Quit the shit". The woman gets ups quickly
and spins the cage.
The bird then sticks a wing out of the cage and
then you hear... "Ooooooh! feel the fucking
breeze!!"