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A priest and a permantly drunken bus driver from the same village arrive at the pearly gates and both request to enter heaven. Says St Peter to the priest, "You wait 2 years," and to the bus driver, "You go straight in." The priest protests, "How come? I have been preaching every Sunday for so many years -- and he is nothing but a drunken bus driver." St Peter replies, "Listen, when you preached, they all slept, but when he drove, they all prayed like crazy."

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A man said to St Peter, "I want to see what hell is like." He saw a big gathering, having a big feast with a big variety of food. Returning to heaven he had dinner with St Peter and only one dish waz served. Surprised, he asked, "Why only one dish?" St Peter replied, "Its a hell of a problem cooking for two."

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Five frogs came to the pearly gates. St Peter turned to the first frog and asked, "What have you been doing down below?" "Going in and out of puddles." St Peter admits the frog to heaven and asked the same question of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th frog, all giving the same reply and all are admitted to heaven. The fifth frog, a very pretty one, was asked her name. "My name is Puddles," she replied.

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Two friends come to the pearly gates. "How did you die?" asked one. "Frozen to death. And you?" "I suspected my wife was having an affair, went home early, looked all over - inside the cupboards - under the bed - behind the curtains - and the strain caused a heart attack..." "You stupid fool! Why didn't you look in the fridge? You would have saved my life and yours if you did !!"