The "Ghost" Poopie
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, see poopie on the paper, but there's no poopie in the bowl. This is also sometimes known as "Houdini" or "Cooperfield" Poopie.

The "Clean" Poopie
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, see poopie on the bowl, but there's no poopie on the paper.

The "Wet" Poopie
You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadfull skid marks.

The "Second Wave" Poopie
This poopie usually happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poopie some more.

The "Brain Hemorrhage Through Your Nose" Poopie
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

The "Corn Cob" Poopie
No more explanation necessary

The "Lincoln Log" Poopie
The kind of poopie that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

The "Notorious Drinker" Poopie
The kind of poopie you have the morning-after a long night of drinking. Its most noticable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could" Poopie
The kind where you want to poopie but, even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet cramped and farting. (very frustrating if you're using a pay toilet.

The "Power Dump" Poopie
The kind that comes out so fast that you barely get your pants down when you're done.

The "Liquid Plumber" Poopie
This kind of poopie is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the "Lincoln Log" poopie.)

The "Spinal Tap" Poopie
The kind of poopie that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.

The "I Think I'm Giving Birth" Poopie
Similar to the "Lincoln Log" and "Spinal Tap" poopies. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterward.

The "Porridge" Poopie
The type of poopie that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

The "I Think I'm Turning into a Bunny" Poopie
When you drop lots of little round turds that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

The "I'm Going to Chew my Food Better" Poopie
When the bag of Dorritos you ate last night lacerates your insides on the way out.

The "What the Hell Died in Here" Poopie
Also sometimes referred to as the "Toxic Dump". Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

The "I Just Know There's a Turd Still Hanging There" Poopie
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off, because if you wipe it now, it's going to smear all over the place.

The "Fire In the Bowl" Poopie
The kind of poopie that singes the hair around your butt from the big feed of Mexican food the night before.

The "Magic" Poopie
Possibly the most perfect poopie. It is like the "Clean" poopie in that you don't have to wipe, but Like the "Ghost" poopie it dissapears. You do feel very relieved and like you have done a good job.

The "Dingleberry" Poopie.
This is a living poopie. After a well taken poopie (often "Rabbit" poopie), you flush. However the "dingleberry never goes down. It sits at the bottom looking up at you. Often you leave before you see it, but the next person will. The next person usually finds another stall because they are afraid of the dingleberry, as if the dingleberry is saying, "Go away. Get the hell out of here. This is my home."

The "Pebble" Poopie
When you strain for five minutes and you only get a little "pebble poop."

The "Silly String" Poopie
A thin poopie that swirls around the bowl in one, continuous, unbroken link. Generally will leave it's mark after flushing. You have the urge to call someone to come and look.

The "Alien" Poopie
Green. 'Nuff said.

The "College Student That Comes Home for Thanksgiving" Poopie
The most solid poopie the student has had since going to college.

The "Cracker" Poopie
The poopie that resembles that cracker you had a few minutes ago.

The "Ribbed for her pleasure" Poopie
You know, the kind that comes out looking like the elephant man...And makes you feel like you passed one (an elephant that is)

The "Fart Suprise" Poopie
When you go in there sit on the toilet fart one and your already empty when you get up the toilet is full.

The "Peanut" Poopie
peanuts in your turds, left over from the plane

The "Dead Weight" Poopie
The kind where when your done you feal 10 pounds lighter

The "Fountain" Poopie
The kind that comes out so fast and furious as to cause the foul toilet water to splash up on your buttocks. Which, in turn, make you feel unfresh all the rest of the day

The "Orgasmic" Poopie
It feels like all your troubles are over once you've finished this poop. Its orgasmic, once i have finished it I jump up and down for joy.

The "Sinker" Poopie
Poopie that sinks like lead to the bottom of the toilet, rocks thrown in a pond.

The "Floater" Poopie
Poopie that bobs on the water in your toilet like a cork.

The "Politically Correct" Poopie
Poopie that isn't too long, isn't too short, floats and sinks, and doesn't smell.

The "Dietician's Delight" Poopie
Poopeie that both sinks and floats in your toilet, proving to anyone who cares that you had eaten a proper diet.

The "Rawhide" Poopie
Poopie you hold in so long that when you finally let it go, it comes out it has a very leathery texture.

The "Public" Poopie
The only time you make a lot of foul noises is when there are lots of people around to hear it.

The "Forest" Poopie
The one that only hits you when you're six miles into the woods.

The "Salsa" Poopie
Burns bad before, during, and after.

The "Buddhist" Poopie
The one that requires an hour of meditation.

The "Upper Class" Poopie
This is the poopie that doesn't stink.

The "Never Ending" Poopie
The poopie that keeps coming out with no end and even when you think you are finished, it is still there, hanging out of your butt.

The "Clay" Poopie
The poopie that is so big, hard and so difficult to get out of your sphyncter that you have to stand up and sit down a few times to mold it into the right shape to get rid of it.

The "Poopie that you can see what you ate in the last 24 hours" Poopie
This poopie usually occurs after you have eaten too many grapes or too much fruit juice. It is very runny and when you look in the toilet after you are done you can see all of little food particles floating around in the toilet.

The "Rude" Poopie
This poopie makes as much a plea for help as it is drowning that it makes a loud noise that will be heard two to three blocks down. Very embarassing.

The "It`s too late now" Poopie
After holding it in for too long, you try and go, but nothing comes out. You know it's still in there, though... Needless to say, very frusterating (and uncomfertable).

The "I know it's in there somewhere" Poopie
Kinda the same as the "It's too late now poopie," except the victim can be heard screaming, "Get out here right now! I know you're in there! Stop hiding! Don't make me come in after you!"

The "I haven't poopied in a week" Poopie
On the verge of using an eniema, you know you have to go, or else...

The "Born again" Poopie
After taking this load off, you feel like a new man (or woman).

The "Explosive" Poopie
It is the kind that hits hard and comes out so fast that you think you are going to shoot of the toilet bowl through the ceiling.

The "Pissing out of your butt" Poopie
Feels like your pissing out of your butt.

The "Flaming" Poopie
These are poopies you get from drinking cheap swill.

The "Hey Lucy, I'm Home" Poopie You flush the toilet, it all dissapears, but a second later, one floats back.

The "Andrew" Poopie
Like an old friend named Andrew, this one just never quite goes away. Apparently it considers itself special. Bring a book, cuz this one is NEVER finished.

The "Pressurized" Poopie
The poopie that comes out so fast that you wonder what is going on. Then after it is finished coming out you let out a big fart that was behind it pushing it out.

The "Whammo" Poopie
The poopie that went through your system like a slip-n'-slide.

The "Richard Simmons" Poopie
This is when you strain so hard you lose you lose thirty pounds in the process.

The "Disolving" Poopie
The poopie that came out solid but the dispersed and turned the water all murky brown.

The "Danger" Poopie
The one where you have to evacuate the country until the smell goes down.

The "Star Wars" Poopie
The one that looks like Yoda and gives you special powers.

The "Contemplated" Poopie
Does a poopie in the toilet make a plop when there is no one around to hear it?

The "What-The-Hell-Did-I-Just-Poopie" Poopie
This thing is so big it kinda looks like it's staring back at you. You feel that if you were to flush it, you might kill it or something and that it'll come back for revenge and kill your dog and kids.

The "Huge" Poopie
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The "Coin" Poopie
The one when you swallow a dime, poop it out the next day, pick it out of the turd, then spend it.

The "Musical" Poopie
Has an symphony of squeeks, grunts, and ploppy water noises and you leave a movement.

The "Spray Can" Poopie
When you fart and the poopie sprays all over the toilet bowl (sometime even on the seat).

The "Rabbit,floater,sinker combination" Poopie
The kind that comes out in many pieces. Some float on the surface, and some sink to the bottom.

The "Poopie of poopies" Poopie
The poopie that comes after a long series of rabbit poopies, the big one, so big that you feel unprepared after all those little baby poopies.

The "Suicidal" Poopie
This poopie takes so long coming out that you begin to contemplate the true meaning of life, finally coming to the conclusion that there is none, and, feeling distraught, flush yourself down the poopie hole.

The "For some odd reason I'm up at 5:30 a.m. running around a track and I had spaghetti for dinner last night" Poopie
This poopie occurs when you get up for morning track practice. At about 300 meters of your 12th 400 meter repeat, you realize the new finish line is not even on the track, making your teammates wonder why you ever-so-anxiously ran off the track with a baton into the bathroom. Hmmm...

The "Iceberg" Poopie
The poopie that is so long that it never breaks. It sticks out of the toilet and just sort of stares at you - hence, the iceberg.

The "Atomic Blast" Poopie
The one that smells soooo nasty, life forms on Pluto fall over and die.

The "Energizer" Poopie
It keeps going and going and going and going and going.........

The "Up Yours" Poopie
It's that last bit of poopie that goes back up into your anal passage, feels like it's gonna come out at any second, but stays there for at least a week!

The "Huge Disappointment" Poopie
You go through pain and diligent, hard work, faithfully pushing for ten minutes- and when it finally drops, you get a pathetic little "nugget".

The "Chicken McNugget" Poopie
The one that looks the same going out as it did going in.

The "Homesick" Poopie
Poopie that you discover, after thinking it long gone, has returned home.

The "Soft-Serve" Poopie
It's so creamy and soft, yet so long that it curls up just like you're making a soft-serve cone!

The "Hide and Seek" Poopie
It feels like theres one hanging but when you wipe nothings there. So for the rest of the day it's squishing between your butt!

The "Cannonball" Poopie
The kind where you know that as soon as it drops, your butt will be splashed with water

The "Little too late" Poopie
The one that comes out just as you stand up and pull on your pants.

The "Prayer to God" Poopie
The prayer to god poopie is when you finish your poopie and look over at the toilet paper and there is only enough for one wipe so you pray to god that it will be a dry poopie.

The "Get a Life" Poopie
The poopie that comes out and you spend an hour trying to name it.

The "I can't poop in there!" Poopie
You have to go really bad but the restroom is so bad the cockroaches are threatening you with your life!

The "Death Valley" Poopie
The poopie so dry and hard it hurts and makes you feel like you spent the last 6 months in the desert!

The "Indiana Jones" Poopie
The one that whips your butt and as it flushes down, it stretches out and reaches for a piece of toilet paper for a grand finale.

The "Crayola" Poopie
The one that draws spirals on the bowl as it flushes down.

The "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" Poopie
The poopie that when its leaving it feels like your dumping bricks but when you look in the crapper it looks like mashed potatoes.

The "Peek-A-Boo" Poopie
After you take a regular poopie you can still feel that little extra poopie that you either have to push for hours or go after it with a spoon

The "Presidential" Poopie
A poopie that, when looking back at it, you can see faces of famous American presidents' faces on it, and are tempted not to talk to it. Does not have to be a president, it can be any celebrity.

The "I Think It's Alive" Poopie
The kind of poopie that, after it comes out, floats around the toilet and almost appears as if it's alive. You might even be able to bring it in to biology class and dissect if for a lab...

The "Disentary Combustion" Poopie
This is the poopie where you refuse to wipe your butt for the rest of your life. Over time the cling-ons matt up forming a wall or barrier covering your anal opening, then the onset of disentary and KABOOM! You explode, there is now nothing left of you but splattered liquified poop containing busted organs and bone fragments. Please visit the corresponding Tale from the Toilet.

The "Two-Tone" Poopie
The two tone poop occurs when you get two (or more) distinct meals or foods in the same BM. A dark chocolate/caramel mix is most common, but the ingestion of something made with a strong blue dye (Blue Raspberry Kool-aid, for instance) can give you a nice green/brown combo.

Other, more exotic color schemes are left as an exercise for the reader.