Tools of Communication

      A man is sitting at a bar.  While sitting there he decides to call
    home, so he opens his left hand and acts like he is dialing a phone,
     then puts his hand up to his ear and begins to talk into it.  Finally,
     he says good-bye and closes his hand.

     Well, the bartender and another customer think this is strange but
     don't say anything.

     A little while later he remembers that he has to call his broker.
     Again he opens his hand, dials and begins to talk into his hand.

     This time when he is finished, the bartender walks over and asks what
     he is doing.  The man replies that he got a cellular implant in his
     hand and it's the latest thing.  Well, the bartender isn't sure if the
     man is pulling a joke or is for real.

     So, the man tells the bartender to give him his home phone number and
     then dials it.  The bartender then puts the man's hand to his ear and
     surprisingly hears the hand ringing and his wife answers.  Well the
     bartender is just totally totally amazed.

     A little while later the man leaves to go to the rest room.  After
     spending a very long time in the rest room the bartender becomes
     concerned that something might be wrong with the man.  So the
     bartender goes into the rest room.
     In the rest room he finds the man with his pants down around his
     ankles, bent over, and a roll of toilet paper shoved up his ass.

     The bartender asks the man if he is OK.  The man replies that he is
     fine -- he is just waiting for a fax.