THE BRAGGART

When I am the richest man in the world, I will sleep on pillows stuffed with Eagle down.
I will vacation by taking a trip to the moon,
I値l buy all my groceries on Rodeo Boulevard
and hand out Super Bowl tickets to the children on the street.
I will fill my pool every day with warm water from the Caribbean,
and I値l raise the Titanic and use it as my private yacht.
Every afternoon, at 3:05, I will fly to Oahu for fresh Macadamia Nut Ice Cream
served in a Waterford Crystal dish and I will only wear Levi痴 to weddings.
I値l celebrate my birthday every year, every month, and every week,
with a big party, and a band to get rid of my excess pocket change.
I値l buy every team in the NBA and bet on them all so I could never lose.
And though I know nothing of golfing, I will lease Australia so I can practice my swing.
At Christmas time, I値l have a large feast, and the guest of honor will be my rather large opinionated pet rhino, BoBo, who loves to sit on my mother-in-law痴 lap.
I値l only shower once a month, So that I know that the people that hang around me are just as greedy as I am.
And guess what? I値l never pay taxes on it all for I値l bribe the IRS!

But until I win the lottery, I shall have to be content with vanilla ice cream in a box,
and bathing every day, and watching basketball on TV.
I will have to wait for a tee-time at Eaglewood like everyone else,
And my pillows will all be polyester.
So, I値l just have to tolerate my mother-in-law, with her yappy poodle BoBo.
And pray I don稚 get audited by the IRS.
But today I feel lucky,
so maybe I値l buy two lottery tickets at the grocery store on Main Street.