30 Ways To Relieve Stress
1- Jam thirty-nine marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
2- Use your Mastercard to pay off your Visa.
3- Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
4- When someone tells you to “have a nice day” tell them you have other plans.
5- Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
6- Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram.
7- Make a list of things to do that you’ve already done.
8- Dance naked in front of your pets.
9- Put your toddler’s clothes on backwards and send him to preschool as if nothing is wrong.
10- Retaliate for tax woes by filling out you tax forms in Roman numerals.
11- Tattoo “out to lunch” on your forehead.
12- Tape pictures of your boss to watermelons and launch them off of high places.
13- Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on all the natives.
14- Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
15- Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss’ wife.
16- Pay your electric bill in pennies.
17- Drive to work in reverse.
18- Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of “The Flintstones” during that important finance meeting.
19- Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
20- Refresh yourself: put your tongue on a cold guardrail.
21- Tell your boss to blow it out his mule and let him figure it out.
22- Polish your car with ear wax.
23- Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
24- Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
25- Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
26- Braid the hairs in each nostril.
27- Write a short story using alphabet soup.
28- Lie on your back eating celery using your navel as a salt dipper.
29- Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
30- Make up a language and ask people for directions.