What am I looking for?

I am looking for family. People to live with me and share my life, both the good parts and the bad parts. People who are caring and understanding. People who are willing to commit to a reasonable degree of exclusivity in this day of AIDS and STDs. I want to find people who, while not necessarily sharing my point of view, can be comfortable with those differences. People who are not threatened by change. People who know how to laugh at the world, and themselves.

Many people in the poly community have decided not to have children. I am different in that respect. I like children. A family to me includes children. Not necessarily lots, but at least one or two depending on the number of parents available to raise them. Who the genetic parents are does not matter, except to doctors, because I feel that any adult who is a part of my family is a parent to the children of the family. This involves a lot of responsibility, but also involves a lot of pride and joy. To me it is one of the good parts of a poly relationship.

Perfection is not required. I am not perfect, far from it, and I don't expect other people to be perfect. I do expect that you can learn, and that you can teach. Growth is important because otherwise you turn into some stale old person who can do nothing but grumble at the world. If you can't learn from your mistakes, and help me learn from mine then there is no growth.

I much prefer long term relationships, but this is a slippery term. Long term can be a few years, a decade or the rest of your life, any of which if fine. Long term is more of a state of mind. People do grow apart. Sometimes they can grow back together, sometimes they can't. Relationships take effort. As long as you are willing to put that effort into the relationship it will grow and change. The best goal is that if you can't keep the relationship than you should at least be able to part as friends.

I have a tough time with the concept of people in my house not being good friends to all involved, even if they are just lovers to one. To this end I find that I need to be friends first with all of the people involved. Sex and lust are easy, but friendships, like a relationships, requires work and time to form. Some of my friends say I am very slow in this reguard, but it does seem to work better in the long run. So if you are interested be patient with me. Send me a note, preferably with some information about you, and let me know you are interested. You might get invited to dinner. And later, much later, I might ask you if I can join your life(s) with mine.


You can send me email the here.