May 1999

May 7, 1999

I am so worried for so many people. As I sit in class, I hear a conversation about ecstacy and weed -- and some of what's going on at parties. I don't need to spend my time worrying about these people; heck, I shouldn't waste my time, but...I can't help but worry. It's my X-complex. [RN - X represents a person I know on the net..or I did know..we had a falling out a year or so ago] X is gone now. I don't know where she is or what she's doing. All I know is she's drinking too much and smoking too much of too many different things and that she needs help. K-saa [another nameless person] tried to get her help...but I fear she's already too far gone.

LB is drifting a little further away from me every day. We just don't click anymore like friends do. Mmmm.

The choir cruise was fantastic. I was rooming with 3 other girls: KW, CT, and ME. I think we all had fun. I think. Who an I to know anything? I don't know. And so it ends.

I think I have more friends right now than I've ever had before. I'm happier than ever before. But the worry, the fear, the bitterness...it's all still there. Everything around and about me is still insane, what with the Littleton shooting and the war in Kosovo [OH YEAH, it's not a WAR, is it, hmmm?!?!] and all. I seldom need a diary now. If only the world could keep a diary. Maybe then it could grow peaceful once more.

May 23, 1999

There are actually more entries for above that I have yet to compile..aiek..it's actually 4am on the 23rd..I have riding later this morning. I've been in GeoCities help chat for quite some time..Texas was sold a while ago, so I don't ride her anymore..now I mostly ride Indiana. Indy is such a silly-billy! ^^; he likes to goof around and is always eager to get food..Shania Twain is playing on VH1 right now, the music video for "That Don't Impress Me Much." I'm a big Shania fan..and no, I don't mind country..I really like most forms of music if it's good.

Got a new set of grades - they're all right, not the best, but much improved from the first grading period of this semester. History is only at a B, but working on that, it is improved..French went down temporarily to an A-..swim season is now over..I got a really bad grade on an english paper the other day (AIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!) but besides all that, all is well.. =)

I forgot my Wranglers at school yesterday (they're sitting in my locker) so I'm going to have to wear overalls to ride in..they're my only other pants with good seams..oh well. Talk to you all later!

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