It's cloudy today and I feel like crap
I can't always be sunny and I can't take a nap.
Keep faith with myself, a bargain with me
face "one more day" and hope I'll feel free

Of anguish and anger, of love lost in shroud
of future past.
of time endless and fleeting
of wondering if sleep will bring dreams with a meeting,
of keeping it together when it's fallen apart,
of things which despite trying still tear at the heart,
of all this stuff that time brings back,
some painful, just sad,
of things that just lack.

God, this gets old and I've been here before.
I didn't stuff it away or just slam the door.
Some days it feels like I've only begun
and I keep on wondering "when will I be done?".

Well, today it is, what part should I play?
John Wayne, Tom Joad, or Dorian Grey?
There's no one to hold me
in check,
to smile, or ask why
or to say my b.s.
just doesn't fly.

I can smile and behave but don't ask me to care.
I've looked for that part of me and it isn't there.
I'm stuck in this life and can't give it away.
She went to elsewhere and I chose to stay.

So, I've become my own cheerleader
my own critic, my own ghost
and I'll take on the best of them
well, sometimes I boast.
I'm sometimes a moron and sometimes verbose
but I'm mostly okay
just don't look too close.

It comes like the weather
not from effort or luck
some days are sunny
and some days just suck.

© Michael Goshorn 5/94