This page is
in memory of a man. In memory of my dad. I guess I
will start at the beginning. My mom and dad were
divorced when I was a small kid. I was only about 2
or 3. I hardly ever saw my dad. As I got older I
learned more about my father. My father was really
an intelligent man, but he did not use his brain to
its potential. Dad made stupid choices. Bad
decisions regarding his friends, his partners in
life, as well as his "career choice". My dad cooked
and dealt methamphetamines. This was not a lifestyle
that I agreed with or wanted any part of.
He had been to prison many times, but never for
anything violent, always the same thing. Always the
drugs. Now he always got out early because he was
such a non-violent offender. I remember, (one of my
only memories of my dad) I was about 17 yrs old and
my dad was let out on a furlow (thats where they let
you out when you are a "good" prisoner for a
"vacation") and he and I and my sister JJ along with
our Uncle Bubba and his sons went tubing down the
Guadalupe River. It was fun, but my dad was more of
a stranger to me so I was a little withdrawn. Then
when we went out to eat, we were all wet and dad was
dressed in ripped up jeans and being the spoiled brat
that I was, I got very embarrassed. I am not proud
of that. That was the last time I saw my dad until
much later. But he ended up getting released and he
and his wife at the time, Sherry, moved into an
apartment here in town. Well, my senior year of high
school my dad and Sherry were busted for one of the
biggest meth bust in the history (at the time) of San
Antonio. It was on the news. And of course, he and
I look alike. We had the last name. High school for
the next few weeks were really bad. I got into my
share of fights. Kids can be really brutal.
Well,
that was it. I no longer wanted anything to do with
this man. I decided we would no longer have a
relationship. I stuck to that for a long time. I
saw at Christmas when I moved to Las Vegas with my
grandparents. Once again, it was very strained and I
told him so...I told him he was a stranger to me and
and could not tell him I loved him back.
I remember
the first time that I saw him with Nell. I had come
home to San Antonio to see my sister JJ graduate from
high school. I remember that I had been prancing
around the coliseum (remember, I was visiting and
seeing lots of ppl from school, and I looked good)
when I walked right past him and he called out my
name. I turned around. I was so shocked. I walked
up and he tells me "I want you to meet your sister
and brother". Well standing before me were two
little rugrats, about 3 and 5. I disliked them
instantly. and said so. I made sure he knew that
those kids werent my siblings and I resented him
trying to make me acknowledge them. I also looked
down my nose at this tall, skinny, scruffy looking
woman who was with him. I mean she had to be trash
to be with him, right. So, I continued on my way.
A couple of years past and I was in a marriage where there was abuse as well as drug and alcohol addiction. I also had
my Beth by then, when I got a phone call from Nell.
They were living in a little town called Borger and
she told me that my dad was in the hosptial in
Amarillo and that it was bad. She asked me to call
him. That was a lot to deal with. I had decided
that I didnt want my daughter involved in anything
that had to do with drugs, but I didnt want to
prevent her from a life with a grandfather in it. I
called him.
That was the start of a life with a
dad. My dad. Shortly after he got better they moved
to Las Vegas. I remember the first time I saw my
dad, I knew he was clean (drug free). He was fat.
Any other time I had seen him, and from my experience with other addicts and users I knew that while they were
using, they were always so thin. That night while
sitting in my grandmothers home I told him he needed
to make sure that he would never ever get back into
that drug mess. If he wanted a relationship with his
granddaughter it was a choice he had to make. He
told me there was no choice. I told him I would not
let him do to her what he had done to me. He gave me
his promise.
I spent lots of time with dad and
Nell and the kids...Jacob and Shana were my little
brother and sister. We spent lots of weekends
together, went everywhere together. My dad and Nell
were even there when I finally got up enough guts to
leave Chris. I finally decided I needed to get away
from him and my dad gave me the courage to do so. Beth
and I moved in with them.
The entire time I
lived in with them, dad and I continued to get
closer. I finally found someone in my family, I was
like. Finally someone who had the same stupid sense
of humor. He and I would sit and laugh at the
stupidist things. He had this stupid little dog.
Claude. Claude was a little chiuahua mixed mutt. I
remember one day this little girl had come down to
play with Shana and dad and I told her that claude
was a bear dog. That he had saved us from a vicious
bear attack. To which she replied there arent any
bears around here, so dad and I promptly looked at
each other and smiled. Thinking the same thing. Of
course not, Claude ate them all.
We had the
perfect american family, dad worked as a pipefitter,
Nell the stay at home mom, I worked at an advertising
agency, shana was a girl scout, jacob the avid
wrestling fan and beth the cute little baby that just
toddled around and loved everyone. We didnt argue,
well Shana and I would have tiffs about her getting
into my things, but thats what sisters do. We sat
down to dinner with each other every night. Went to
church together on Sundays, with Sunday dinner
together with grandma and grandpa. If I went out
they watched Beth, the same for me and them.
The
entire time I lived with dad and Nell, I never ever
once saw any violence. And trust me, after living in
it, I would have been very in-tuned to it.
They hardly ever fought. In fact, when my mom drove
up to get me and move me back to San Antonio, she
told my dad how angry she was with him, because he
had given Nell the life she wanted with him.
I
visited them once when they still lived in Las Vegas.
It was right after Nell had come down and stayed
with me, she had come down to get some things her
parents had put away for her. When she left, she
took Beth back to Vegas with her. We had made plans
for me to follow shortly. When I got there I could
tell that things had changed. The very first night
that I was there they went out. Nell and dad. They
left me to babysit. I was very angry. Also, Nell
had begun smoking pot again. I would see little
spurts of anger from her. It didnt seem much then,
but looking back, I cant help but wonder how I could
have been so blind.
There was one incident with
Nell that should have totally opened my eyes to the
type of person she was. The neighbor across the
street had been arguing with her. About the kids.
They had been going over and messing with his things.
Well, one day he got very angry and came over and
got into a confrontation with Nell, nothing physical,
but she was on the phone with a friend of hers and
she just started screaming he hit me, call 911. Her
friend did. Well, when the police got there Nell had
a huge red goose egg on her head, the guy was no
where around. She told police that he had done that
to her when in fact she had gone into the bathroom
and inflicted the damage to herself by banging her
head up against the bathroom cabinet.
The following
year I went to Las Vegas for another visit. By this
time Dad and Nell were living in Reno. Dad was
supposed to come down and pick me up and I was going
to stay for awhile. Well, he never did that. My
grandma got very upset that I had not made better
arrangements. I got angry. I felt that my dad, had
let me down. That he had turned on me. I called him
and told him that I was going home. That I would not
be up to Reno to see him. That is when Nell got on
the phone and told me how heartless I was and how I
broke my fathers heart. That was the last time I
ever spoke to my dad.
Around the beginning of
April, I started feeling the urgency to get in touch
with my dad, but because of pride, I wouldnt call
him. I wouldnt have done any good anyways, but I
didnt know that at the time. A couple of months
later my grandmother called me and told me that my
dad was missing. He had been gone for awhile. But
that Nell had never called to file a missing persons
report. Every time my grandparents called to talk to
dad, she always said oh, hes not here. Finally she
told my grandmother, after a few months, oh, didnt I
tell you, he left about 2 months ago and I havent
seen him since. Yeah right. My grandparents told
her they would file a missing persons report and she
emphatically requested that they did not do so...she
said that she would. My grandmother did.
Years
went by and we never heard anything. Nells story was
that she, my dad, and a friend of theirs-Chuck, who
lived with them, had gone out to eat dinner and they
got into an argument and my dad walked out of the
restraunt into the snow, never to be seen again.
There are a couple of problems with their story.
First, my dad would not have left his dog. NO WAY!!
Secondly, people in the restraunt remember seeing
them leaving together. Also, one thing my dad had
always done, at least twice a year, no matter where
he was or what he was doing he called my mother.
ALWAYS! They had a strong connection.
Children.
Finally, this year, my grandmother got a
call from the detectives. They wanted information
from her and needed to talk to me and my sister. We
talked to them and gave them as much info as we
could. They told me that they might, in the near
future, get some blood from me and my mother. What
did that mean? What had they found? They couldnt
tell me. I found out.
Two weeks ago, on May the
14th, 1999 I got a call from my grandmother. She
told me that they found my dads body. And it had
been a positive identification through dental
records. They had found his body buried under the
floor of the house they had lived in together. It
turns out that Nell had been put in prison, earlier
this year and was bragging about knowing how to deal
with ex-husbands. She told the wrong people. Now
they are trying to claim self defense. They are
saying my dad attacked them with a knife and that
Chuck killed him out of self defense...funny when all
the damage to my fathers body is at the back of his
skull...real defensive, hit him when his back is
turned. Now they are telling different stories, but
the first we had heard was that my dad was leaving.
He confronted them about having an affair, which they
admitted and he told them they could have each other
and he went into the bedroom to pack and they came
and attacked him and beat him to death.
I will stop
for now with my personal story. Thank you for
listening to me. I had to say this to stay sane.
The entire time he was gone I was fairly certain that
he was dead, but now I know. Everyone keeps saying
well, now its over. Now you know. But, its not
over. Not for me. For me its just beginning.