Jewel's Poems

Me

I
I have blonde hair
I pluck my eyebrows
I have my fathers nose,
My mother's hands
I have crooked teeth
And green eyes
I play guitar
I used to get sick alot
I like the color of wine
I've cheated on boyfriends
I've owned fake ID
But my hair is still blonde
and my teeth are still crooked
and I probably won't always like 
the color of wine

II
I have firm breasts
I have lips that always smile
I have veins that bleed
I laugh when I'm nervous
I feel the pain of others
but cry for no reason
I like open flame
I've been selfish since a child
I'm from Alaska
but hate the cold
I've cheated on diets
I've faked applications
But I still bleed 
and my lips still smile
and my breasts won't
always be firm

III

I have strong shoulders
I have olive skin
I have a Swiss face
I borrowed from my grandmother
I have long nails on my right hand
which break regularly
My little toe is strange
I write
I used to make wreaths from dandelions
I brush my hair before bed
I cheated on tests
I faked flirtatious French accents
But I still have gold skin 
and my nails still break
and I probably won't always have
strong shoulders
and I may not always write
But maybe I'll start
making wreaths
from dandelions again


FAITH POEM
(a poem about faith)
I don't know why I do anything
I'm trying to move mountains with words
But I am an ant
I scribble
I drool
I move like a worm
whose world
(words)
encompassed a mile
How do I rise above
Where will this worm 
find wings?
I look in the mirror
and I see filth
Who is that?
Where did The Angel go?
Why is there dirt
staring back at me?
Why is the soil of
incompetence beneath my nails?
Why does doubt paint
blue rings
beneath my eyes and
stain my skin?
Why does my spine assume failure?
Why do my lips
flirt with the sky;
why do I try to lasso
beauty with such a
pitiful rope?
Where is the hair of Rapunzel
or Samson?
Where is my sling?
Where is my stone,
My gun?
Where is the weapon with which
I may fight this apathy
that feels like sleep
in my limbs
that loosens my brothers smile
that kills my neighbour's daughter
This pen is scrawny and hardly
seems able to ink out
or erase this plague that
infests my
Generation
This Giant, This Ogre
This Beast, This Death
that assumes a million faces,
that borrows my own.


LEAVING LAS VEGAS
Bill, Butch and Bart
Swapping penis size 
in the front seat
while Thelma, Theisel and
Lou Lou up their
bouffant hairdos
and secretly go
where Blue eyeshadow 
has never gone before


CRITICISM
The savages are upon me
and I feel my flesh
Burn 
beneath the teeth
of their indifference


UNTITLED
I saw a woman 
whose teeth were
straight like 
White picket fences
Until she looked 
at her husband--
Then they looked like
Shattered windows


UPON MOVING INTO MY VAN 
Joy. Pure Joy. I am
What I always wanted
to grow up and be
Things are becoming 
more of a dream with
each waking day--
The heavy brows of Daily Life
are becoming encrusted
with glitter and the shaking finger
of consequence is
beginning to giggle
Grumpy old men
have wings
Bums sport halos
and everyday dullness
has begun to breathe
as I remember the 
incredible lightness
of living


UNTITLED
There is a pretty girl
on the
face
of the magazine
And
all I see 
is my dirty
hands 
turning the page

Little breasts attached to
skinny ribs and hungry bellies
determined legs;
   persuasive swing
careful hands
she stands
a greater threat to herself
than the cirarette 
she consumes


LAS VEGAS
Women who suck
their cigarettes
as though they were
giving their
hatred head 





HOMMAGE TO HOME


For the sweat of my father
and the tough nails that broke his heart

for the sun on our backs and
the water on our brows
the heat on our minds

for the silent miles of dirt roads
Our eyes busy reading the
signs (on the days we took the car)

for bad meals turned good
by hunger, everything beatiful
in the red hot heat of our coal stove

for an honest sleep in
an old bed in an old house
built of hand and log



FLIGHT #364

 I
I miss you
my teeth ache
my bones are confused
they'd grown so close
my flesh cries like children
I speak to them in hush
it's not fair they say
bring him back!
beg him stay!
it's not up to me. I try to explain
but mind can't make heart understand

it does not whimper
its one lashed eye keeps blinking
it insists simply with quiet disbelief

LOVE IS NOT WITHOUT YOU

 II

I go back today
back to where I must move from
my toothbrush no longer welcome

my clothing canker sores

my altar a wound
whose bleeding can only stop
when there's nothing left
to remind him of me

(I don't wanna go)




Sample Poems from "A Night Without Armour"



I MISS YOUR TOUCH
     
I miss your touch
all taciturn
like the slow migration of birds
nesting momentarily
upon my breast
then lifting
silver and quick--
sabotaging the landscape
with their absence
     
my skin silent without
their song
a thirsty pool of patient flesh
     
-----
     
INSECURITY
     
you don't call
I check again
I become uneasy--
is this a frame?
Suddenly I'm not so sure
I check my sources
each conversation becomes a crumb
how easily I'm led
how stupid I've been
to believe
you could be
loving me
you who can not be seduced
by anything other than
the temperance
of need
each one facilitating the next
and suddenly I see my place
the phone rings
you say hello
but I don't believe you
     
-----
     
I SAY TO YOU IDOLS
     
I say to you idols
of carefully studied
disillusionment
     
And you worshipers
who find beauty
in only fallen things
     
that the greatest
Grace
we can aspire to
is the strength
to see the wounded
walk with the forgotten
and pull ourselves
from the screaming
blood of our losses
to fight on
undaunted
all the more
     
-----
     
IT HAS BEEN LONG
     
It has been
long and
Bony since
your willing
ways since
those thirstful
days of
summer nights
and Burning Beds
     
-----
     
AS A CHILD I WALKED
     
As a child I walked
with noisy fingers
along the hemline
of so many meadows
back home
     
Green fabric
stretched out
shy earth
shock of sky
     
I'd sit on logs like pulpits
listen to the sermon
of sparrows
and find god in Simplicity
there amongst the dandelion
and thorn