Not all, but certainly most of the heterosexual dominant women I've known want a submissive who's got a lot on the ball. They want to be impressed, they want to be made to feel special, in short, they want to be courted.

Submissive males have a slightly different script to follow when courting a dominant woman, but it's not that different. Be polite, punctual, well groomed, and please, no intimate gifts, such as panties or stockings, until you are actually intimate. (Try to contain yourself from begging her to call you a "worthless worm," wait until she knows you enough to really mean it.) You may bring flowers, if she likes them. Red roses are not appropriate for a first encounter, although they are lovely; they betray a streak of mediocrity in you. White roses are for innocent intentions which may be counter productive. Sterling Roses show you don't mind spending a lot of money on her, but remember she might expect you to keep up that level of attention. Yellow roses tell her you are terrified of displeasing her . . .so go for the gold.

It is important to be honest about your strengths and weaknesses, if she asks, but keep a little mystery, won't you. Please don't dump your whole life's' story especially in the first conversation or letter. At this stage, you are trying to get to know her a little, and let her get to know you. If you get a clear, unmistakable sign from her that to her you could possibly be more than a friend and if you like her, then you turn on the charm and do your damnedest to win her over.

Lots of men and women who meet through ads or BDSM support groups make the mistake of rushing off to have a scene together. This is not always effective for a continued relationship. First, take a walk together. If that does not quickly become tiresome, then coffee or even lunch together. Then you stop. Then you go your separate ways. Go home. Think about its. Send her a note of thanks for the fine company, call on the phone or eMail to ask if you may visit with her again if you have her number or eMail addy by now, and leave it up to her. If she doesn't encourage you, give it up.

Let's assume the lady in question has requested that you consider yourself to be in the running. Wonderful! However, you are not yet out of the woods. She does not own you and certainly, you do not own her. Bear in mind you probably have competition for her attention, so keep your best foot forward and make up you mind to be sporting.

Getting to know such a woman is best when taken by degrees.

1.. One way or another you get one another's names. This is called :"We've met"

2.. You frequent the same places. This is called: "We're acquainted."

3.. You like her a lot and wish to date her. This is: "I admire her." (She might admire you too.)

4.. You walk, have lunch, call on the telephone. This is called: "I'm seeing her"

5.. You go on a date for dinner, you go dancing, you go to a show. This is called: "We went out together."

6.. You spend Saturday naked at her place doing housework and cooking dinner for her; maybe she has let you touch her somewhere. You ask if there are many rivals for her love. This is called: "We had a great time together Saturday."

7.. (This is where the roses come in) She has let you know that she prefers your company. You decide to seriously allow yourself to be shaped into her complete love slave, if she'll have you. You fling your heart and all that is attached to it at her feet. She graciously accepts. This is known as: "We are pretty serious about each other."

8.. (This is where the "worthless worm" part comes in.) You have your first serious disagreement, meaning you don't let her win. You stand firm and she concedes the point because it is not worth a blow up, then hates herself and you. You leave, while both of you are thinking that the relationship is doomed. You wisely decide that serious groveling can be fun, so you abase yourself and beg her forgiveness, bringing her a valuable gift, preferably precious metal. If you have shared an orgasm before now, include a gemstone. This is called: "Sometimes I can be such an idiot."

9.. If she hasn't mentioned it before now, then now you ask if she intends to collar and claim you.If she is not sure, ask how she'd feel about you acting like a free man. If she says you are free, you had better believe it and start dating other ladies again.

10.. If she wants to claim you, open up about any things you have reservations about, then ask again, if she then has doubts, see (9.). This is called: "We had a very serious discussion about us."

11.. She decides to claim you as her own. You share the happy news with your BDSM pals by saying, "I'm owned! I am property! I belong to (insert name here) and I am helpless in Her glorious hands." To your vanilla friends you say, "I'm engaged!" In any case, you give her a ring. A Really Nice One.

12.. You begin to politic with each other about every niggling little thing in the relationship. This is not called anything, no one talks about this part, but everybody goes through it, as it is necessary to make progress.

13.. Eventually, you share a household. It is her house. You wash her undies for her. You notice that her undies aren't worthy of her heavenly pelvis. NOW you buy her underwear! You say, "Darling, I got something for you today . . ."