Characteristics of healthy versus abusive relationships...

Here is an excellent definition of a healthy relationship:


"Functions to increase self esteem of both participants in the relationship." 

A relationship in which one or both people act abusively can no longer function in a healthy manner. This is the pattern (habit) of thinking of an abusive person:

1. Feeling fear, pain, or insecurity cause them to feel "out of control".
2. Feeling "out of control" leads to a perceived "need to control".
3. A perceived "need to control" is acted on with "controlling behavior."
4. Controlling behavior is usually abusive.

Abuse is not simply physical abuse. Abuse is any attempt to force someone to do what you want them to through the use of fear or intimidation. Abuse can be physical, mental, sexual, psychological, economic, or emotional abuse. 

Healthy Relationships
  • Partnerships
    Joint Decisions.
    Shared Responsibilities. 
  • Economic Equality
    Freedom in issues of work, school, & money. 
  • Emotional Honesty
    Feel safe to share fears and insecurities. 
  • Sexual Respect
    Accepts that no means no.
    Caring of needs and wants. 
  • Physical Safety
    Respects partner's space.
    Expresses issues without violence. 
  • Supportive, Trusting
    Listens & understands. Values partner's opinion.
  • Respectful.
    A safe, comfortable relationship.
    Sensitive to each other's needs. 
 Abusive Relationships 
  • Domination
    Abuser decides.
    Servant/Master. 
  • Economic Control
    Denies job freedom.
    Withholds money. 
  • Emotional Manipulation
    Uses jealously, passion, and stress to justify actions. 
  • Sexual Abuse
    Treats partner as sex object.
    Forces partner to do things. Humiliates partner calling them a pervert or withholds affection altogether. 
  • Physical Abuse
    Hit, choke, kick, pinch, pull hair, poke, twist arms, trip, bite, restrains. 
  • Controlling
    Name-calling, mind games.
    Isolates partner from friends. 
  • Intimidating
    Charming in public, menacing in private.
    Destroying property. 
Back one page...

This page hosted by