Hey hey hey! I've never been much for the sissy sport of soccer but then I saw the U.S. women playing for the World Cup. So I decided since it's a girls' sport, I ought to watch girls play it, and I've been impressed by our American babes. After all, I was an athlete at one time so I can respect the work they put in and the high level they've achieved. However, they just aren't soccer players, they're women, so allow me a little fantasizing about all of this.
So I collected a photo gallery (AP and Reuters shots) of every American babe who's scored (or in the case of Briana, stopped non-Americans from scoring), given my assessment of their soccer abilities and my fantasies about what it would be like to go out partying with them (after much experience in this area, I consider my guesses very educated on this topic) and styles from what I know about them, and then my total fantasy about how they would prefer to score with a real man like me. All right, I know that a lot of them are married, one of them even has children, and some may not be interested in guys for all I know. So if you know something I don't know, write me.

Congratulations on wining it all! Y'all are invited to party with me (HINT HINT HINT: if you ever get tired of your husbands, boyfriends, parents, siblings, children, pets, the media, Coach DiCicco etc., you know who to go to), if you'll lower your standards enough! Why can't I ever meet women like y'all?
 

Player	Soccer style	My best guess as to her partying style	How I dream about how she would score with me
Michelle Akers	Michelle's the one jumping up and down after scoring against Brazil. She's scored as many goals in Cup play as she's had knee operations. Furthermore, she doesn't just take it, she dishes it out, too. The team's oldest, but still going strong even though she suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome	I don't think she parties all that much. I think she's really Christian, which I agree with since I've got a lot of repenting to do. Kind of hard to knock back a few anyway when you've got to have IVs after some games. Nonetheless, if she can play 90 minutes with that disease, I want to party with her!	(SINGLE) Are you kidding? She takes charge. I wish she'd tell me to lay back and relax and go with it unless she's feeling really tired, then she'd probably reverse positions and make me do the (pleasurable) work.
Brandi Chastain	She put home a big one against Germany. Got some smarts, too, since she's a soccer coach in real life. Plays more than most and once scored 5 goals in a game. Ended the World Cup championship game in style by whipping off her jersey after scoring the winning penalty kick. I wish she'd been my soccer coach.	I see her as a gulper of poofter drinks (the sweet ones with lots of milk in them), but not too many. Probably calls it an early night. But she seems excitable enough.	(MARRIED) She deserves a little rest after all that running around the Rose Bowl in a sports bra, so my fantasy has her leaving the driving up to me (and hope her husband doesn't kick a soccer ball into my nuts).
Joy Fawcett (left) and Shannon MacMillan (both jumping up and down)	JOY: Scores here against Germany. She's coached also and has started 95 games in a row so she's durable. She has to be, with two daughters. SHANNON: She's big pals with Joy and a super-sub coming off the bench for instant firepower.	JOY: I think she's a sedate mother now so I'll bet all she does is drink a glass of wine now and then. SHANNON: I'll bet she likes to knock back some micro-brewskies after power shopping but won't stay out too late.	JOY: (MARRIED) After all that soccer and running around with the kids, she'd relax and tell me to take charge (and hope her husband doesn't come after me with a shotgun). SHANNON: (SINGLE) After all that soccer and running around with Joy's kids, she'd relax and tell me to take charge.
Tiffeny Milbrett and Julie Foudy	TIFFENY: Big scorer for the team, small but gets in on the action and won't be denied against bigger players. JULIE: Patrols that midfield and can put the ball in the net or get it to someone who can. I've seen her doing guest appearances on TV and she's a riot.	TIFFENY: I suspect she's usually a non-drinker, so when she decides to have a few, I'll bet it's bottom-shelf beer (my favorite) and she'll keep you out all night. JULIE: She seems like a cocktail drinker who'll go the distance if the party circumstances are right.	TIFFENY: (SINGLE) After a few beers, I'd want her to tell me to shut up, lay back, and go for the ride of my life! JULIE: (MARRIED) After a few cocktails, I'd hope she'd tell me she's the master, I'm the servant, and the servant's entrance is always to the rear (and hope her husband doesn't play the butler who the police always say after the murder did it).
Mia Hamm	What can I say, considered one of the world's greatest female athletes, highest scorer in history, on magazine covers, great hair.	I can see her knocking back a few drafts, but not too many, those endorsements take up a lot of time.	(MARRIED) Since she dominates on the field, my wish is she'd lay back and tell me she's tired of that and now it's her turn to be dominated (and hope her husband doesn't use his Marine hand-to-hand combat training on me).
Kristine Lilly	She'd the most capped player in women's soccer history. She's played almost every minute of almost every game since making the team.	I think if you took her shopping or to the movies, then she'd want to go bar hopping with you and drink Canadian bottled beer.	(SINGLE) After we went shopping and partying, my dream is that we'd play "escaped convict surprises warden's wife while she's in bed."
Cindy Parlow	Head one home against Brazil here. She's a striker for the future, still a college girl but with lots of international experience and goals already. Young, staturesque, and cute.	She recently turned legal, so I think she's still in that rum and coke phase, but probably hasn't acquired my excessive ways yet. Youth would make her hard to keep up with.	(SINGLE) She's younger than me, full of vigor, so after I lay down exhausted after going out with her, she'll take command.
Briana Scurry	One of the world's best keepers, better than half of her games have been shutouts. Ran naked through the streets when the USA won the gold medal in part due to her outstanding play.	You have to ask? This girl must party. Bet she drinks premium call brands with the occassional malt liquor when she needs to dull the pain from all those shots hammering her.	(SINGLE) You have to ask? She's a goalkeeper. Goalkeepers do it standing up. I just hope she wouldn't want to stop my scoring attempt.
Tish Venturini	Racked up a couple of goals off the bench in the midfield against those pinko North Koreans. Subbing now but has had a good career.	I'd say she doesn't drink all that much, maybe some red wine occassionally.	(SINGLE) She strikes me as a little kinky, so I have no clue. Suprise me, Tish!