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2 . 2 8 . 0 1 hehe. so I guess I was a little too cocky about my exam. Oh well, fuck it, I hated the class anyway, and I definitely don't need it for my major, so its not that bad of a loss. Plus I had some major problems about how the course was being run, a little too demanding without much instruction. I dunno, something about an instructor who sees it necessary to yell at a student who asked a "stupid" question. Maybe I really am ready for the next step. one DR on my transcript isn't going to kill me, especially in an area that I don't plan on ever going into. at least not in this lifetime. Burdens seem to lift off when one makes such decisions, in countless ways I'm actually enjoying this decision, need to get working on some projects that are starting to come together a lot quicker than I had already anticipated. plus it gives me more energy and time to plan a few initiatives i've been cooking inside this head of mines. LSAT on saturday, we'll see how it goes. hope its a better test than the pointless GRE. 2 . 2 5 . 0 1 So I have my first midterm tomorrow, and I'm going to say that I'm in "ok" shape. obviously not in tip-top, thats never the case, part of winging things is part of the liberal education I'm realizing. Then again I'm thinking that if I had only 12 credits, had no extracurriculars, and didn't go out ever then maybe I might be a little more cocky about school. But then I'd be pretty one-track minded I'm thinking. Maybe this is all an elaborate excuse for my anticipated performance, although I can't say that I've ever recalled being this cheerful the night before an exam before. I wonder if I really care? Maybe I really am ready for the next step. I'm sceduled to take a mock LSAT with the LLSA, Latino Law Students association, they're a group that is involved with the DNA innocence program here at the Law school, that recently freed an inmate who had served i think 18 years of a sentence for a crime that he didn't commit. Something about the area of Forensic sciences, and CJ seems a viable area for me in the future. who knows. Spent some time hanging out with Ray this weekend, he's back in the Mad city until tuesday when he ships back off to Japan. He's having a blast over there, and if things work out with Chiba, we might be cruising around Tokyo in the fall. We went to the Wine Cellar with sis and then ended up at La Hacienda for some late night grinds. Made me recall some of the old experiences from last year late night meals that is.... Kinda coasting through this semester, busy, but not stressed at all, perhaps its out of knowing deep inside that the time I've spent here has been very nurturing. And its still not over yet. 2 . 2 2 . 0 1 This semester is flying by. almost on week 5 already and it only feels like its been a month. oops, well it HAS been a month. aho me. anyway, attended the funding meeting for our MAASU grant through the MCC, we got a decent amount to tie off the costs. Also attended an AASU board meeting to discuss some bumps with the The Paradox, politics are never easy. I'm hoping that things will work out, like I said before, I'm cautiously optimistic about progress. Plus we have a big ole project to focus and pull together on. go pac!. temps here in Madison are pretty far towards damn cold. I'm glad I'm prepped for it. Just bought some sealant for my boots, I'm surprised they held up 4 midwestern winters and are still in good shape. Working on the thesis with the LASER program, things are going well, everytime I talk to Jano I like him even more. Yesterday we were talking about prisons in Peru, and how the system can have an effect on society on many levels. very personable guy, still a little activist, but I wouldn't exactly call him a RG'er. I do think that maturity comes more often with age than without. I should talk. Spring break is looming, and I'm thinking about taking a break this year and using the time to sleep and catch up on my work. the past adventures I've had on SB have been fun, and fun, but each time I've come back to Madison unrested and way behind in work. A sitting duck for midterms. Besides, maybe I'll be able to save up some okane for a vistor or something end of the month? hope it works out, will be a sight for sore eyes. hope the weather'll warm up a bit by then. Did anyone tune in on WSUM Madison Student Radio this past Tuesday at 8-10pm CST? 2 . 1 7 . 0 1 Week 4. busy as hell. Starting to wonder if I'm biting off too much to chew. tendency I have. Na hoa had a meeting this week, got some announcements sent out, hopefully some of the younger kids will be taking over, as I seem to have a lot of other things 2, 3, 4, to tend to. Saw Traffic last night, was pretty good, I liked the way the story kind of folded and rolled, plus the jumping points between scenes, the sepia-tint gave a "public service message-esque" feel to the sections about Mexico. one aspect about the movie actually brought a parallel back to Requiem, in some ways both of them are anti-drug; in someways glorifying the lifestyle, they both try and revolt the audience. Not to get racial, but both movies had scenes where an attractive haole girl gets so desparate from the withdrawal symptions of the hard drugs that she goes and lowers her standards and sleeps a drug dealer. more specifiacally she goes fucks and sucks a black man. Both movies depicted it graphically revolting too, a sleazy black dude grinning and pumping over this hot white bitch that needs her drug so bad that she'll be his sex toy. I can't help but wonder if there is a significance with these scenes and hollywood trying to say something about black people and drugs. After all, lynchings and the formation of the KKK in the south originated from white men fearing blacks taking advantage of their white women. Overall it was a very good movie. not too sure if its oscar quality, but then again what the hell does the Academy know about art? I'm hoping Crouching Tiger wins just for the hell of it. might be fun. Had a fun valentines, a little sleep deprived, but it was worth it. makes me a little sad about the future of this department, but I'm going to stand my ground on this one. 2 . 1 2 . 0 1 Aunty is teaching us "Helema'uma'u", very pretty song, although the steps move around a lot. She also gave me a copy of "Waikaloa", suggested that I try remember the moves that Sonny taught the guys at Indiana, I just hope she doesn't bust out the video tape for the group anytime soon. Something soothing about hearing music at the end of a week, sunday evenings I have come to look forward to mainly because of this. Working on finding some younger kids to carry on the responsibilities of the Hawaii Club next year, at the very least a contact for Aleina, its been an interesting 2-3 years taking a more active role in running an organization, have to say that we've been rather blessed by the void of politics and egos. I'd like to attribute that to some organizational know-how on my part, but I think I have to kowtow more to the nature of our members--gotta love local people. Went to the first spring meeting for The Paradox, basically got my old Job back. This semester looks promising, a new editor, and drive to finish 2 issues before May. I'm cautiously optimistic. V-day is coming up and I have made some plans. well sort of. Wonders of technology and the access of the internet makes a simple conceived idea a reality. the bastards better deliver. Distance is not exactly the most hospitable to the strong-hearted, although at this moment, and in my own personal context, it might be for the better. Funny how a seemingly corny idea turns into a tender moment. 2 . 8 . 0 1 Mitoe is in town for the week, I was helping her study for her ACT tests, brought back a lot of memories about standardized test. It was kind of a refresher on 10th grade geometry and stupid logic games. woohoo. makes me kind of groan at the thought of taking mines pretty soon. the whole standardized testing really is a big business when you think about it. kind of silly the price of an education. Don't worry Toe, you'll do fine. about two weeks w/out coffee and I finally succumbed and got a mocha from the blood coffee place. so far its settling pretty well with me, actually I feel pretty alert. I think like any other psychoactive substance, moderation is the key to effective and healthy consumption. Then again maybe it was the company. or maybe the urgency of studying these stupid diagrams for my quiz tomorrow. Also took the lil sis to the civic center and the L-V-M, the artist that she is. Hopefully it gave her a break from the studying. have to admit that it is soothing to look at painting and admire someone's creative outlet from time to time. One of the paintings that caught my attention yesterday was one of 2 disembodied heads, bloodied and expressionless. sitting on a table. looked like an executioner's trophy rack. kind of dark. Had a talk with my scholarship advisor, Jano is a pretty cool guy, with a lot of insights and experiences to draw from, I like his honesty and fighting spirit. Seems that the true activist stays true to his cause, even 30 years after the movement. Kind of wish I was around back then to see Madison. Refreshing to know that I seem to make contacts with strong spirits wherever I seem to go. AA Month 2001 is coming up around the corner, we're already starting to book performances and speakers, makes me remember last spring time. Hanako just suggested a possible panel of 100th battalion vets that trained at Ft McCoy way back in the days of exec 9066, and pearl harbor. hope its a possibility. Wonder if Mr. Awa would've came up. should ask pop I suppose. 2 . 4 . 0 1 Two weeks into the semester, and another blast of cold winter weather to cheer the colds and flus of the city. Can't really monku monku though, afterall, what better reason than to bust out the khombu for another try? Plus it makes the tea taste a lot better, with company of course. I went to see a naturalpathic doctor a while back, and she told me the dangers of coffee--"caffeine?" i had asked her? "no" she replied, "not tha, but the nature of coffee--the aroma is too powerful". something that might be valid here as I am 2 weeks without the sludgie stuff and I feel a lot more energized to be honest. Plus a lot of new experiences coming as well. Working on getting ahead with the studies, hopefully it'll make this last semester one to remember, 8th time around I should know the drill by now. glad I decided to come back, I just have to watch the affirmations to avoid being labeled as an overacheiver. Saw Requiem for a Dream this weekend, have to say that I wasn't totally impressed, I can appreciate art for "art's sake", (kinda like the blair witch), but I think there is a point where it can get a little overbearing and somewhat ridiculous. something along the lines of it being a little obsessed with the shock value in my opinion, it took away from the really creative points of the movie, the storyline, acting, cinematography, and inferential messages namely. I understand how some people could like it a lot, the obviousness of this understanding itself makes me roll my eyes though. In many ways it was just another typical trip into a post-post-modern psychoactive-inspired depression and individualistic overcompensated deluded sense of entitlement. It is almost as a species pampered with the wonders of technological and ideological advancements, we need to find other sources of sufferage and misery, namely in selfish obsessions and drives, such a dream is a borderline plea for sanity, for an indentity. In the end we curl up by ourselves either drunken with ourown illusion of eurphoria, or wallowing in a puddle of our own bile-soaked mirth. when in reality, it doesn't have to be that bad. Obviously I can't write it off as crap either though. I do admit that it was very powerful gripping, left me with disturbing thoughts--definitely evoked a response, to the extreme levels for sure, got me thinking. and maybe that was the point in the first place, funny though, I liked "Pi" a lot better. |