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6 . 2 7 . 0 0 I don't believe it, I guess we got a car....pretty sweet too, almost brand new. I was expecting a piece of shit cah honestly, one to take to the beach and trash up, but I'm not complaining. Its a little cherry for me I guess, but I'm not gonna be around that often anyway. incentive for my brother to get his license. it rides really good, lotsa power, like a good japanese car should. at least i can see over the dash good. Went to Venus last night with the Queen B, sloth-boy and the psychobitch, first time I've been there since last Xmas, I felt all cool I got one of those little bands on my wrist that lets me get ROH. or EtOH to be more specific. kinda takai though, not too cheap, even with 'specials'. Ran into two of the whippies, greg, and check it, this girl whose at school someplace in MN....maybe we'll cruise this year in the mad city when she comes down. Just got back from cruising with bub, we went to Don Ho's in Aloha tower, had a couple drinks. this Ali'i pau hana porter was pretty sweet, though they give out a 22 ouncer, which is a bit much, but still was solid. All this talk about futures, med school, grad school, life, people, expectations, perceptions is a little too much to bear sometimes I'm thinking, but then again thats what life is about. i really dig this car, almost to the point I want to take a picture of it and post it on the web. The thing is that I never pictured myself in a car like this one, it came with an installed deck and sounds, the previous owner probably souped it up a bit before selling it. probably took out the rims before. this is all amusing because I'm not too fond of the whole car-thing, adjustments and altercations are more of a waste of money in my eyes than anything. I have to say that sounds do add to the experience though. can't deny that. I think dork is ignoring me, these cell phones are good for many things, especially for screening calls and what not. I think thats what she's doing. ah well. I'm sure she found something better to do than to cruise with me. wish i could say that I'm not slightly bummed. Maybe I'll call this certain somebody who I've been pondering about..... 6 . 2 3 . 0 0 Finished up my last training session for volincor--to get into the prison as an observer. Interesting, got to hear about some scenerios from a couple of women ACOs about the women's facility. had some tea with a member of the DOH I met at the sessions, she's a 89 Iolani grad, we got to talking about Punahou's 'arrogance', it kind of dawned on me, I really am an arrogant son of a bitch. She went on to talk about how Iolani kind of instills a sense of humility in their grads.....I dunno, but that sounds pretty damn arrogant to me. all joking aside though, I'm still a real pretentious fuck. Last night I talked with Aron about dreams and art and stuff, he's thinking about making a bunch of them into a comic book, like a compilation of short stories. I'm suggesting that he should put it online so I can link to it. should be cool. check out his site too. had a pretty mean ass poundage session with Lewis, first time I ever really hung out with him outside of family gatherings, it was pretty fun. It reminded me of my classes this past semester, maybe the transition between being a crazy college student and a fully functioning adult is almost pau. been doing some random surfing on the internet, lots of links of links come out, here's a bunch of them, don't ask about the content, as they are random sites, and I just found a bunch that were exceptionally amusing and/or weird.....enjoyRandom site #1 random site #2 Gotta get my ass on my assignments, I've been slacking too much, prof is gonna kill me for not faxing/mailing that Soc paper. gotta help around the house too, all this shit. ok, nuff bitching, audi. 6 . 2 0 . 0 0 Dropped off a TV at the medical ward Monday, the trip served as a dual purpose In my eyes: 1st to get a general feel on how to get there for future purposes, and 2nd as an impromptu initiation the intern to a taste of the people I've been reading about these past couple weeks on paper. Theres a major checkpoint that you have to go through, a sign-in sheet, and 3 walls of locked doors controlled by an ACO who scopes you out with survailence cameras before they buzz you in. Got to see the "mainstreet" in the center between the living modules and recreational facilities. The guard towers on both ends were pretty intimidating, especially with all the paved concrete all around. I came back in after work for the first session of my orientation course, the facilitator being very up front and honest like he always is. There were a lot of religious people in the room apparently, some of them seemed a little naive as to what they were expecting from the inmates--one lady seemed pretty set that her mission for volunteering in the prison is to spread the lord's good name. Made me think about what I've heard so far about inmates who have become born agains, vowing that our lord Jesus Christ has saved and cured them from damnation. I recall one of them came back in a month on a parole violation, hanging out in kiddie playgrounds..... Anyway, never a dull moment in life's experiences. besides the trip to the prison not much, trying to keep up with these readings and assignments, starting to think about APAC issues and work for next year already. Keeping in touch with my Na Hoa cohorts around the country, the psychokitty and the quirkstah are in touch, will see what we can cook up come fall. Something came to mind recently that I think I should mention, a talk a couple weeks ago, to tell a suicidal person that their own death wish is ultimately a personal decision, that if they really want to kill themselves, then it really is their kuleana. however, something to keep in mind is to tell that person that SOME part of them wants to die, and really should cease to exist, not ALL of them. they can fulfill their deathwish by killing off the part of the whole, not the whole of its parts. Maybe theres a shrink inside me after all. 6 . 1 8 . 0 0 It's been about a month home, and I'm finally getting settled in. Started running again with pop, trying to get back into some sort of shape to start working out with the team again, and maybe do some jiu-jitsu with Teruya maybe. My knee is holding up pretty good, with all the running, which is good. Still waiting on a piece of shit car to go beach with, I think the waves have calmed down a bit now. maybe I'll go running on the beach this evening, sand is good for the calves. Books came in yesterday, I'm becoming a fan of online shopping, at least for books. Also been hanging out in that blood coffee place, is it just me or were there a lot more independent coffee shops in Hawaii when I was in high school? i have to admit though, that I like their coconut mixed coffee. good locations too for reading about psychopaths and pedophiles. I have to work on my assignments for this course and mail them to Madison before I fall too far behind. the problem of course it that there's too much information coming to me at once to get on paper. I'm supposed to go for a field visit on monday for orientation training, its a 3-day, 4 hour class in the evening hours, sort of like night school. According to some, it should be named "what to do if you're taken hostage in a prison riot." Lots of people think i'm crazy for finding this internship interesting, I'm going to see how things go before I answer that assertion. Saw the "Bone collector" last night on video, not bad, but not as good as "seven" and "kiss the girls". Also saw "gone in 60 seconds" with Christine on Thursday, wasn't nearly as good as I hoped it would be, altough Angelina Jolie is a hottie. Turns out its a remake of a cult classic.....lots of movies are like that nowadays it seems. 6 . 1 5 . 0 0 Saw "I'm the One that I want" by Margaret Cho with nadgarl Tuesday night at resturant row. I liked it. She's really crass and vulgar, but honest and blunt about a lot of issues of identity, touching on a lot of API issues that I've come to accept. Issues that are not mine exclusively, but ones that I have had to deal with in form of stereotypes and assumptions brought onto me. Apathy and ignorance are a big part of reality, we are living in a generation of nonchalant expressions and actions, life stories that seem to lack substance and fire of purpose. Mine included. Went to the State capitol all day on the "Kamakani" process currently in the department I'm working in. as an outside observer attached to a specific agency within the department, I find myself in an invaluable position to ask, watch and learn about the workings of policy in a large public beuraucracy. State of Hawai'i. I was taking a break from the session this afternoon, made some phone calls overlooking the central atrium of the building from the third floor. They say that the architecture of the building was designed to depicted a volcano, something that I've heard before, but never really noticed. It is also a different feeling when you look at the big intimidating building from the inside, even if it is a perpsective gained on a temporary basis. Ordered some books from amazon.com, a depth psychology book that Barry recommended to me, and a collection of poetry by Bukowski. Its pretty neat thinking that you have thousands and thousands of literary titles available to you with the click of a button. I've been reading a book on psychopaths in society and prisons, a sort of informational reader compiled from one clinical psychologist's case studies and clinical experiences/adventures. very interesting. People have been asking me lately if I see a career in this internship I've been working on, honestly I'd say that its a little too early to make a decision on that, but I have to say that I see it as a possibility. I recently took another meyers-brigg personality assessment to determine my temperment. I've had 3 different ones in the past year. SS says that its because I haven't been molded in my temperment yet, still have room for improvement. Check out this site if you're interested, apparently its a pretty accurate test, Dad thought it was for him. As for me, I've gone from a supervisor to an innovator to a field marshal. less than a years time in duration too. I'm thinking that I'm getting back into psychology with all this application I've been exposed to. I'd be close to say that criminal justice is where psych and soc meet in practice and application. what I've been looking for? 6 . 1 2 . 0 0 Seeing Aleina and John was something special, Marie organized us at the Waialae country club for lunch, I brought along Christine and my mom and ran into Ray there. My mom made some hakus for the ladies, the headband she made for Aleina was so pretty that she didn't put it on. This was a good weekend for them to come, the Kamehameha parade was Sat, and today is a state holiday. Went to Shelley's grad party Saturday, got to see mir, linda, joel and isaac at the Treetops by Paradise Park. I realized that the only time I ever go to that place is for grad parties. Also ran into one of the baby managers, didn't even recognize her in the dark. Thing that was interesting about this gathering was that it was full of band people/alums, even Bridges was there. I was reminicing about all the mischief I got into while I was in band--I was probably every band geek's greatest fear: a jock-punk that can play better than the average band dork who practices 24-7 and licks rim. i think to this date I am the only marching band soloist sent home from band camp.....a real dark horse.... Spent most of yesterday cleaning the flooring in front of some bank on Alakea street downtown with Christine's Uncle, we were using some pretty nasty chemical solvents and heavy weight scrubbers, and a huge ass industrial vac that looked like a little R2D2. I could really use the money, and it'll be on an on-call basis. I was wearing this heavy chemical respirator with carbon filters, when I was thinking about what I must've looked like to people walking by. In terms of entitlement and working classes, I couldn't help but notice the way that passerbys treated us--the security guards were friendly and chummy, but the excecutives of the building were a little rude and snotty. Assumptions i suppose. Saw MI2 last night with the fam, my mom's a big Tom Cruise fan, I thought it was pretty good. John Woo does pretty good action films, he seems to like the two-gun thing a lot. This movie was a lot easier to follow than the first one, not too many people ripping off faces and what not, and not too much deceptions. The lead female was pretty cute. I'm planning on seeing this movie tonight about Margaret Cho called "I'm the one that I want" it showed here in Hawaii at the Honolulu Gay and Lesbian film festival, and I've read some reviews about it. Should be interesting. I've also been calling a lot of people on the mainland with this nifty little phone, in some ways it seems odd that I look forward to the weekends for other reasons. Talked to Dopey and the Quirkster, they're doing good. Konger is still deciding on her school this fall, I'm still anticipating her choice. Must be difficult, not knowing where you'll be in a couple months. In a sense I know exactly how she feels..... 6 . 8 . 0 0 There was a big swell this past weekend on the south shore, I got caught in the reef at low tide when it was about 3-6. The the tide was so low that the waves were actually breaking on the reef, and by the concessions trail you could see your toes sticking out of the water. I decided the waves a little big for me, but on my way in my leash got hooked on the reef and I got thrown off my board. Basically i was being held underwater by the ankle, my board hitting me in the face. i struggled for a while to release my leg but I couldn't keep balance. I was trying to keep myself from rolling on the reef at the same time fighting for air. The sets started picking up and I had to hold my breath every time i braced myself for a wave. after about 15 gasping sessions I decided that I was in trouble, so i jammed my foot into the reef for a foothold just enough so i could take off the leash from the board instead of my ankle. I did it just in time to catch a wave into shore. not a fun experience. Once back inside the reef, realized that I had gashed up my foot pretty bad on the coral, but honestly i wasn't thinking too much about that at the moment. the whole ordeal was a feak occurance, never happened to me before. Nothing to keep me out of the water though. I think i'll just wait until the swell calms down a bit first though. This whole cell phone thing is a pretty neat thing, much better than having a pager, although I am a little bit annoyed with how accessable I am now in terms of communications. Even when I'm walking someplace, between work, or in a store, I've gotten phone calls that I answer, last night I was looking at the beer selection in Safeway when Dork called, later on I was spending some "quality time" with a friend and an X-boyfriend called her in the middle of something deep. maybe I don't want a cell when i get back up to the mad city where life seems so much more complicated. will see. Aleina and John are in towne, we're supposed to meet up for lunch on friday with Marie Hara and Christine. it'll be good to see them all. I left a message at the hotel for them, the operator was very polite to me, I was wondering after i hung up the phone if it was due to the fact that I was speaking "haole" english? I've noticed that I've gotten a little aggressive and loud on the phone with strangers, practice from living on the mainland I guess. Got into a discussion on dream interpretation today, analyzing a couple of my vivid dreams in classical Jungian terms. The scary thing is that I think the assessment was pretty accurate in his analysis. SS has a lot of knowledge and information in his head, what impresses me the most is his ability and experience in application what he knows in real life. Gotta go start reading some of his suggested reading list, maybe I should get back in the whole coffee shop scene. 6 . 4 . 0 0 It's been a little more then a year since i started this puppy, and i'm looking for a new format for this journal. we'll see how it goes so far. Looking back on a year of entries, its been an interesting ride, as for a substitute for email? My plan this time around is to make more entries, maybe every other day even, there has been a lot going to report on no doubt, but we'll see. Graduation was last night, pretty neat, gave out a bunch of leis and stuff to the wreslahs and band girls who were freshman my senior year. Probably be the last graduation I go for people i knew since HS for a while, next year it will be for my brother, and thats it. thing about HS graduations is that I run into so many people i used to know way back when, some people have changed so much, some haven't. I actually got a little nostalgic walking around looking at all the leis and flowers up to the graduate's heads, hakus, candy, maile and pikake. I conformed and got a cell now, so I've been taking advantage of the mobile minutes as well as the long distance. The big deal was that I was supposed to get one that would call out of Halawa prison, but I don't think any of them will. Mom grilled all of the sales people with all these questions, the girl that we finally bought from was so nervous I think she gave a discount. Tried calling some of the people in Madison this morning, could only get through to one. I guess she decided on LA for the fall. will see. The other night's excursion on the town produced a prime example of social behavior in perception of situations and passive agressiveness. sometimes I have to remind myself that I am not qualified for a counselor, and that some people don't seem to understand that. Work has been very interesting, learning a ton every day. The Department is very beuraucratic in some aspects, yet efficient in others, I'm sure that most of state governement is as well. Reading some of the police and psych reports on these clients is pretty disturbing to think that there are people out there that do such things. But its life I suppose. Deviance in the mind and behaviors has always existed, just in different levels of severity and criminality. |