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3 . 3 1 . 0 2 War in the Middle east, Isreal has cornered Arafat to his compond, moving tanks into Palestinian towns. 5 suicide bombings this past week, bloody scenes on the media day after day. Think many people have become numbed to the violence that goes on in this area of the world, although with everyday it seems like its closer to a full scale war. The U.S. war on terror is being compared and used by many other countries, India, Isreal are a few examples. Problem is that any comparison cannot be drawn without misconceptions and blanket statements. An interview with an Isreali and Palestinian recently on TV displayed some of the tensions between the parties. Neither seems to want to conceed entirely, although the bias of the newsmedia is obvious. Using a buzz-word like "Terror" draws the lines pretty quickly. Meanwhile more suicide bombings are bringing the casuality ratio closer to a 1:1 after a long domination in killings that favored a professional army backed by against people throwing rocks. pretty morbid thought that statistic of death was mentioned as a sign that the playing field is becoming more even. One account gave an important perspective, the Palestinians don't have much to lose. Makes the craziness out of suicide just a bit. So far away yet some of these conflicts strike closer to home. People can't seem to live in peace without killing each other, hurting each other with some sort of rightousness. Ideologies, religion, ethnic war. Some poll I read stated that about 46% of Isrealis support some form of ethnic cleansing. I wonder what results a similar question would produce if it was asked of the Palestinians. Or Americans. otherwise I went to the beach today watching the little kids run around in the water, reflected on my own childhood growing up, going beach. There are times where I feel that I would be willing to give up quite a bit of the comforts and securities that I have if I would know that the rest of the world would be even a little better off. I am far from enlightenment. 3 . 2 4 . 0 2 Had a hint of deja vu just now. Either it means everything that has happened so far is in accordance to some sort of fate, or maybe its a prediction that I'll be entering more journal entries in the future. The Okinawan Red & White song festival was on TV a couple nights ago, I was impressed with the amount of spirit and movement that comes from Ryukyuan and modern Uchina music. Recognized some familiar tunes from who knows when, very athletic dancing, elaborate and colorful kimonos, exquisite old ladies with crazy voices. Some of the dance moves reminded me of variations on Kahiko Hula, and the singing sounded sometimes like Hawaiian falsetto, or maybe yodeling. No major changes in my long-term future from this past week, but pending a good offer from one of the three schools I'm still waiting for, its looking like I'm headed back to wisco. Probably hasn't changed that much. I was reading an article online about recent protests over a tuition hike. Had some interesting commentary on the web that brought up a good point - in times such as these with economic hardship being felt nationwide, not to accept even a partial hike in tuition is irresponsible. Any student who has the time to skip class and protest a tuition hike instead of working really shouldn't complain. Also, with more than $1,000,000 in segregated fees going to a single group that mainly goes to fund activist students, protesting a tuition hike is hypocritical. Honestly if even half of that money went towards putting a dent in the anticipated budget cuts, I think it would do volumes more towards diversity. In general education is way too expensive for the average person. I'm just lucky I got past the bachelors level so far. Of course students voicing an opinion in public protest is better than total apathy. Also found out I won't have to take any summer school, may give some time to enjoy home before I ship off. 3 . 2 1 . 0 2 Here's a fun word: inebriated. I probably spelled it wrong too. hehe. Came to mind after watching Dogma earlier in the week, and then from visiting the Honolulu Academy of Arts for the special exhibit on "Taisho Chic". Featuring the Taisho era in Japan before the war when there was a lot of western influence in the form of the arts and social expression. Art deco, flapper styles, and liberated women were reoccuring themes. Whoever organized the exhibit liked to use the word "inebriated" a lot, in kind of a condescending way to describe the new "moga" or modern women of the era that were coming out of the woodwork. Little things like noting the line of sight in a painting, or a strand of hair across a woman's face while she dances - signs that she was under the influence? so much for women's lib associated with westernization. although perhaps cultural factors were stronger than expected. Had to wonder about an alternative history that would have been written had Japan not gone to war with the US? scratch that, had Japan not taken on an imperialist stance and expanded to Asia in conquest? The Taisho era at least seemed to be the beginning of a sort of modern transformation of the arts and society in Japan. Thinking about Hawaii, well, I won't go there for now. Just to say that Pearl Harbor defines contemporary Hawaiian identity much more than most of us would like to conceed to. Lately I've been thinking that I haven't really been enjoying the Honolulu of my birth as much as I should be, despite knowing that I'll be back on the mainland in the fall. Need to start surfing regularly again, getting outdoors more often. hell, maybe T35 is still going camping Kualoa. simple enough for me right now. Got stuck into watching Wild on E? with that chick Brooke Burke a couple nights ago. they had a special showcase on the Big Island. for some reason it seemed like a foreign country. I'd like to blame a lot of it on mainland exoticisms and misconceptions that tourists hold about the islands, but I've been realizing that times are changing, and ultimately everything is relative. makes me wonder what kind of home I may be coming back to someday. 3 . 1 8 . 0 2 Studying in the blood coffee place tonight there was a group of HYSA soccer players that came in for an post-game coffee break. about 30 girls making a lot of noise with the coaches. The girls next to me who had been studying for a while shared their irritation with each other, I caught a few Japanese words that I understood. It was strange that I tuned in being that the thought running through my head was how un-Japanese the soccer team's behavior was. As if I really know what it means to be Japanese? Growing up in Hawaii i never really noticed the number of Japanese here. not buddhaheads or katonks, but actual nihonjin. either visiting on vacation, students, or living here for good. The differences in culture combined with the subtle similarities must create an interesting impression on some Japanese, actually anybody from outside Hawaii. sometimes I'm curious to ask. kind of a detached feel in terms of identity, sharing a root culture but having a language barrier. Sometimes I wished i paid more attention in Japanese school when I was little. Then again there is only so much that you can communicate with words. I suppose self-identity is an ongoing theme in one's life, some people never find it, and are constantly searching and trying to live up to expectations. Self-induced, parental, cultural, economic, or racial. I'd like to think that I've resolved most of these to a point of sanity, and will continue to build on it. I've been re-thinking about the idea of indifference being the opposite of love as opposed to hate. maybe there are sublevels to a degree of nonchalant attitude that portray this. It still escapes me how aloofness can be so infuriating to some people. Found a way to calculate my data functions on my ongoing thesis-turned policy report. Add to the credibility of the findings, and tighten down the hatches for critique. Data data data. Starting to work on the chapter for the book, coming along well. 3 . 1 5 . 0 2 I'm reading some books on relative politics and contemporary Hawaiian culture. Sometimes I think it takes an alternative perspective to analyse a system, especially one that has multiracial overtones to it. not to say that the haole perspective is the only one, but in describing the Asian American Diaspora (whatever that means) the only voices awarded credibility should not be limited to those who draw ancestry to an amorphous continent that makes almost half the land mass of this planet. Sometimes the very person who has the strongest and convincing claim (be it blood tie, cultural tie, or just gall) is the very person who shouldn't be handed the megaphone. Of course everything is relative, everything must be taken into context. Life experience speaks volumes for opinion and bias. Jihad vs Mcworld. Anomie. Sacred and Profane. Maybe its really not that complicated. I was at one of the clubs last night that A Magazine labeled as a "Asian Pickup joints" in Hawaii, honestly with the demographics in the islands, everyplace is an "Asian" pickup joint. In a sense, there really isn't anything "Asian" about Oceans for example, besides from the clientle, and maybe the $2.50 Hinano. Local girls are getting more and more mainland-ized, not that there is anything inherantly wrong with this, but sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm still in Honolulu. Seems like there is the assimilation-orientated faction that preaches the model minority standard, money, prestigious education and ethnic exoticism, then the anti-establishment faction that quotes Chairman Mao, Huey Newton revolution and the angry asian man. I think maybe I'd like to have a happy medium, or maintain a stint anti-establishmentism which could equate to freedom of spirit. Otherwise, my decision letters are starting to come in, and so far I haven't gotten a totally negative response yet. Confidence building in itself knowing that I have options. right now I'm leaning towards La Follette. 3 . 1 2 . 0 2 Had another weird dream last night, this one not as anxious, but much weirder. I was attending some kind of seminar in which the professor who had originally been in a good mood changed for the worse mid-term. Started muttering to herself and scowling. Then came a guest lecturer, equipped with colored chalk and a smile he created a mural of drawings and poetic scenes. Asked us how many were wrestlers (women, then men) and then how many were interested in Law. Then asked for volunteers to name as many associated words with each corner of the mural they could in a minute. Later I was talking to a friend from Madison about how he liked his first year of Law School. somehow we ended up pissing off the ownership of the uppity resturant we were suddenly in and the dream ended with a gunfight. Talk about a prime candidate for dream interpretation. Finished reading Michael Moore's new book. food for thought, especially the chapters on Nader, the state of the nation, and corporate crime. He mentions the weakened "liberal democrats" that succumbed to the good life. puts a different spin on the republican party in terms of honesty and being upfront. worth mentioning is the chapter on Bush's cabinet, both official and unofficial, and mention of Enron and Ken Lay. Made a joke the other day about running off with someone and joining the peace corps. who knows, maybe its a possibility. Someone mentioned yesterday that one way of surviving Hawaii politics is to pretend that we live in a very rich third world nation. Plantation mentality to boot. Ran into some Alumni at ward yesterday, also one of my old boy scout buddies. They founded an environmental cleanup company, something that I could totally see my friend be doing. Boy scout stuff. Still waiting for acceptance/denial letters, a large part of me is realizing that it may come down to money. although right now by that criteria the choice looks like a better one. 3 . 1 0 . 0 2 Had a weird dream last night, kind of an ansty feeling, anxiety maybe. sometimes I think its partly due to whats going on in the world. Probably comes from my conversation last night that was a classic example of nuerosis cased by anomie. People sometimes become overly dependant on institutions as a cry for help in a world they cannot control nor understand fully. Read about the the conviction of Al-Amin, a member of the Black Panther Party on 13 counts of felony murder. funny how it takes decades to convict a black man who the FBI spent 44,000 documents, and had to edge the jury's mind by mentioning his political opinions. Freedom of speech becomes heresy too often in a court of law. Stopped by Revolution Books in Pucks alley while I was waiting for Jess's piano lesson. Found some interesting reads, kind of like the rainbow book collective in Madison. The shop owner was very friendly, talked to her a bit about the activism in Hawaii, although I think she had a more optimistic viewpoint on the youth - one thing interesting she mentioned was the possibility of a WTO meeting here in Honolulu, due to the lack of resistance seen here after the Asian Developmental Bank. Plus with H-3 the military is close if they would be needed to quash a riot which probably wouldn't mobilize. Might be good for tourism yeah? On a lighter note, I got accepted to La Follette and Harris. depending on how the Law schools come out I'll be making some hard decisions. followed by even harder ones. |