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1 1 . 2 9 . 0 3 Post-Turkey Day and I'm not in a studying mood at all. spent most of the week reading up on some benefit cost articles, catching up on some emails, AIM-ing until about 3AM. Still plenty to do for the rest of the weekend, and my sleep pattern is already out of wack. whats worse, they had a Kurosawa marathon on the TCM channel, specifcally the jidai geki films in anticipation of Tom Cruise's film, the Last Samurai. Don't know how good it'll be, but who knows. Went to Tristan's house for thanksgiving dinner, brought more than $40 this time to play Vietnamese poker with. I guess this time around my luck was better, and I had a lucky streak after almost going broke. eventually I had a big ole stack of bills, at one point I swear at one point it was close to $700 in cash. Wasn't about to walk off with that much, so I purposefully played a couple of bad hands after that one. and the funny thing was that I won a couple more after that. Meanwhile I've been procastinating on the net, found an old friend from school's blog, totally out of the blue. Its funny how small the internet has made the world. 1 1 . 2 6 . 0 3 Been having a different type of deja vu lately, more of a shift in the energies which came with a sudden cold front that swept through the midwest this past weekend. something to note on things that have come to pass, and yet to come. Something had been holding me down this semester, my studies and work have shown it in terms of overall motivation and drive. I feel very free-spirited right now. Interesting dreams lately. one was about me cooking some feast of sorts, complete with some kind of fried rice, ashitibichi, rafute, goya champuru with a girl that had curious tattoos on her hands. Another was about someone I used to know who quit the church to live a normal life, walking among the first snow fall of the season, catching a westward wind that led me back to the brown, muddied waters of the pacific. Okinawa has been on my mind, strongly as of late. I found myself searching on the internet for more references to Mu a couple nights ago. Khamphian thinks I need to go there, maybe after I graduate - something that I have been considering lately. I wonder if the shamans still practice their rituals today in the same spirit as they used to. Mom is sending another bag of salt. Classes are taking a hiatus for the turkey day break, but that doesn't mean that I'll be getting much sleep or rest anytime soon. Have a tonne of papers and research to get to, hopefully this weekend will suffice. Also need to scrounge up some cash to go gamble with Tristan and his family on Thursday. 1 1 . 2 2 . 0 3 This has got to be one of the stupidest political ads I've ever seen or heard: "Support the president in his policy of pre-emptive self-defense". I immediately got a picture in my head about trying to tell to kids in the back seat who are fighting using this logic. It just doesn't work. "OK, sonny, be sure to hit your sister first before she teases you." "be sure to hit her hard enough to shock and awe her, so the little bitch will know her place and never dare to even think about teasing you again." I struggle with seeing even a single angle where this might convince anyone with half a brain that this arguement holds merit. I mean seriously, Pre-emptive self-defense? Its got to be one of the stupidest fucking thing I've heard of in a while. And honestly I've heard some pretty stupid things coming out of people's mouths lately. The only way this could ever make any sense of course is if we implement a policy that calls for the invasion and occupation of every single country in world. Oh, and kill every man, woman and child in these countries so that they won't become freedom fighters opps I meant "Terrorists" (because of course anybody who picks up arms against an invading army with such so-called noble intentions is so ungreatful that they can only be a terrorist). Endless war, violence and murder against people who are different, or just happen to disagree with our politics. That sounds so American. And there is no way you can spin it around to make it work either. I don't care how "different" the world has become after 9-11, the only thing that has really changed is that we Americans have showed the world just how arrogant and historically stupid we are. Just because we are scared does not mean that we all need to line up rank and file behind a reckless and arrogant administration out of fear. This isn't Patriotism, its more like Nationalism. Wonder how much money this ad cost to produce...and which ignorant fuck thought it up in the first place. 1 1 . 2 0 . 0 3 Finished applying to one job, and almost pau with one Law application. woo-hoo. Just 9 more apps to go. or more. Thinking lately that this semester is going to be very nice to be done with. flying out west will be a good change of pace. At least it hasn't gotten too cold yet. week until turkey day, already feeling the pinch. looking up articles on 881, feeling the pressure as the semester starts winding down. Still working on the research of the 855 course, need to do some reading on case law. Then theres these other projects on the side that never seem to get done. saw an interesting documentary on NOVA about the pole shifts that have been observed to come every couple hundred or so years. basically we're due to have a pole shift sometime, maybe in this lifetime if not next. Cosmic radiation and other unknown effects would occur. Maybe that was what the visions were about. 1 1 . 1 6 . 0 3 Busy weekend, a lot of work and not too much fun. Ended up putting a full day of research and then going out briefly during the midnight hours. Hung out with Van on Saturday night, talked about history, culture, and crazy mother-in-laws. Seems like there are many universal qualities about religious bigotry. Saturday was also a big day for Lee Evans, it was good to see Wisconsin play well and coume out with a win. Maybe we'll be able to go to a better bowl game in the post season. Meanwhile more violence, accident or intentional shouldn't matter, it seems like things are getting worse. Now dubya is saying that he'll try to get the troops out before next election. sounds like more political ploys if you ask me, something that is very true about this administration. No amount of progress or warm fuzzy stories of self-determination or democracy changes the fact that we shouldn't even be there in the first place. 1 1 . 1 2 . 0 3 busy couple days lately, both in the world and in life. I'm honestly distracted the recent violence in Iraq, foreign policy blunder or not, it pains me to see more reports of deaths and woundings. The nature of the media beast is to gloss over the gross and graphic details of the human toll out of respect, or out of broadcast decency. However this may in fact be more disgusting, to ignore the reality that the world is facing there now. For example, how some of the news pundits make anti-comparisions to Vietnam, saying that the daily death tolls haven't reached that point yet, so therefore everything really isn't that bad. It is as if the media spokespeople are serving as the calming factor behind a population that is growing steadily uneasy about the loss of life for no definite purpose or goal. Art Speigelman came to speak at the Union this past monday, a lecture on comix 101, with some touching commentary on his most recent work "In the Shadow of No Towers, and a darkly accurate view of the world today. Made recall Layoun's class a while back, reading Maus, Hadashi no Gen, and Palestine. Meanwhile I am starting to fall behind in my work, the sheer volume, stretched out in different areas, combined with my waning motivation and of course the ever looming applications is piling up. Looks like another academic turkey day for this student. Something that I've gotten pretty used to. 1 1 . 6 . 0 3 Saw the Matrix Revolutions tonight, what a let down. Too much messiah-like symbolisms and what not, and the acting was pretty terrible. It seems like the trend of movies now is to use lots of special effects and throw out the screen writers to save on costs. Honestly my biggest complaint was that they didn't spend much time in the Matrix at all. Its November now and its getting colder. Mid 30s in the evenings with a couple nights in the teens. While part of me thinks I should relocate someplace warmer next year, another part of me has gotten pretty used to it. I guess its not as cold as Canada, Alaska, or Minnesota. Meanwhile back at home theres a shark scare after a Kauai girl got her arm bit off by a 15 foot tiger. Wonder if its the overfishing, or just a lot of people paddling out nowadays. Maybe its just a freak occurance. 1 1 . 2 . 0 3 So another halloween in Madison, and another riot. Missed it again this time, I was nursing a cold on Friday and ended up forcing myself to go out in the pouring rain on saturday. I paid for it this morning. Not bad though, this has been a pretty healthy semester thus far. So I shouldn't be complaining. I wonder if the disorder from last night has something to do with the current state of the world - some sense of tension and apathy that this generation exhibits in our existance. Looking at the cultural indicators might speak to this, cynicisms, anger, anomie, etc in response to the unnatural realities that we are supposed to live. People have commented on the dark and cynical nature of mass media, pop culture in recent years, maybe it is a remnant of our global identity that is speaking out after being suppressed. We live in a world in which the fictional norm is pushed upon us in lieu of the bleak and colorful picture of reality, where society pushes to cure the basic necessities of life with nicely packaged consumer products and media induced definitions of beauty, normality, and happiness. We live in a world in which we are told that our opinions and existance matter to some amount, that the leaders and powerful in the world care about more than themselves, or their profit margins. A world in which our elected leaders would never knowingly make decisions that would put their citizens in danger, while holding some truth in understanding that speaks to the frailty of human nature. Fatalistic thinking, I know, perhaps it is only a matter of time before the cosmetic shell cracks. |