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1 2 . 3 1 . 0 6 End of the year, amazed at how fast it went, lots of stuff going on in the world and in life. This time of year is good to look back and reflect, look forward to whatever is in store for the future. It seems like the past couple of days have been pretty crazy as well, a former president dies peacefully at home, a former dictator gets hung, my country hits a bloody mark of 3,000 citizen soldiers killed in a pointless war. Can't help but feel a little guilty about the bounties of life that I have secured for myself so far one being that my choice of profession has not lead me to be stuck in a foxhole in the middle of a sandpit. Spent the weekend taking a closer look at the city, bringing back memories from my summer as an intern living in Dupont circle, exploring the city and experiencing a new place, new job, new time. got a chance to hangout at Kramerbooks for the first time in a long while. Kind of missed the excitement of living someplace new for the first time, the gritty urban-ness of the city streets, riding the train at odd hours of the night, connecting with fellow young people from all over the country and the world. Looking forward to what 2007 will bring. More work, more school of course, hopefully more just living life. Its been fun so far, lets see whats next. 1 2 . 2 2 . 0 6 At the end of one of the most stressful weeks I've ever weathered, and the sick thing I'm still not quite in the clear yet. Had to crunch out a number of memorandum and various paperwork to close out the semester, I knew that it would take a lot of time, but really could not have planned for it any better with finals and some important tasks at work coming up right before the holidays. I's a few days to Xmas and I'm still in a heightened state of stress. I can feel the adrenaline still pumping through me everyday I wake up. I keep telling myself that I'm almost pau, but I groan as each day goes by and I realize again that I'm not quite done yet. Reflecting a bit back on the past year, its amazing how fast 2006 went by. I have to say that in many ways I was in a happier place a year ago, for a variety of reasons, none too specific. Life goes on, we all make choices and have to live with them. I'm just hoping that all this stress, blood and sweat are going to pay off in the end. Actually I'm sure it all will, I'm just tired of constantly testing my will to live another day. Relatively, Hana tells me that if I'm really that stressed, I don't really show it. That is, aside from the occasional bitching and grumbling about all the crap I have to do before M,T,W,R,F, etc. I think I've always had a high tolerance for stress in general, but really even I have my limits. I probably need to sleep more, but I'm not that tired. I could probably lay off the coffee for a couple of weeks, but I've gotten kind of used to it. Next thing we know it I'll be starting up the Spring semester again. I need to spend more time talking to her when she's awake. We have different circadian schedules, I'm up all night studying while she's dreaming of tulips and tahitian beaches. Had a strange dream about a week ago about an old friend whom I've since lost touch with and I don't talk to anymore. She had since moved on with her life and I had a sense of calm that she was doing ok. I remember telling her many years ago that our paths would be changing course drastically to the point that we might not have anything in common again, or even to randomly talk about. That is in the sense that I don't know what kind of friendship we would've had with me and this lifestyle I've been living lately, I spend way too much time at work or at school, or at some dark coffee shop my nose buried in a case book and while she seemed much like more of a free spirit blowing in the wind. Another random observation I've had lately is how when I'm introduced to women by friends and co-workers they are very quick to mention that they have a boyfriend or husband. On the train home the other night after talking about a totally different topic, eventually I ended up hearing about somebody's husband's work. Common courtesy I suppose, not like I really give a rats ass, but thats probably the last thing I've been thinking about for a variety of reasons. 1 2 . 1 2 . 0 6 Well, one more final down, and I'm almost pau with my third semester as an evening law student. Technically it's past midnight, so it should be the 13th, but I'm too lazy to change the numbering. Have to say that I'm more or less exhausted now, both mentally and physically this field of study takes its toll on you. the sheer amount of information being crammed in, the pressure of the idiosynchratic grading scheme and the high stakes of the grades on your chances of being gainfully employed one day. Mix it in with a 9-5 job, especially a professional one, and all together it makes for a good recipe for a stressed out and strung out existence. And I'm still not totally pau yet. I have some write-ups and memos to finalize, hopefully I'll be able to tie it all up by the end of the week, and then really be finished. Its been an interesting but busy semester for sure, I've learned a whole lot about this field, got some real life experience, and conquered a few more classes. In some ways things are easier this time around, other ways not so much. At least it isn't as cold tonight as it was last week. Putting in the long hours you get to know (or get on the nerves) of the employees at various eateries and coffee shops in the city. I think after sitting in one place for 7 hours on end, you start to come across as more than just a dedicated student and more of a fanatic/loser - why would anyone be that engrossed in their books? Also the nature of this field is that it leads to lively discussions with your study partners on the principles and reasonings behind the concepts. Anyone within earshot of us that hasn't studied this stuff probably thinks we're fucking nuts. Then theres those poor souls who have gone through (and survived) the trial by fire. either its the slight nod of acknowledgment from the old gentleman in a hat who mentioned that he went to an area law school many years ago and has since retired, to the caffeinated, middle aged woman pushing a stroller smirking at my conversation on felony-murder. They've been there, seen that. I still don't know how much of it them saying "hang in there" or "well, sucks to be you. " 1 2 . 1 . 0 6 Officially starting my study period for finals. I feel a lot more prepared overall this go around, but I have to admit that there are parts of this exam process that are still a big enigma to me. walking home one of these recent late school nights I couldn't help thinking that I really do benefit from the hands-on, on-the-job training (as opposed to straight classroom instruction) and tend to do better when there is a component of that in the curriculum. This was part of my motivation to enroll in a clinical program early on, arguably a little too early, but I think it was all worth it. I'll probably go more on this observation later after this round of exams are pau. Still working on transferring the posts to the webomatica blog. Still haven't quite gotten used to the process for posting yet, but I think eventually I'll be moving over there permanently, at least for the posting part. I really like the time stamp and formating functions that make posting a lot easier and automatically organized. My main limitation for posting and expanding this blog of sorts has been time constraints, pure and simple. Only so many minutes and hours in the day. |