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February 6, 1999 - I attended an event in Olympia (about seventy miles south of Seattle) called "Ethic Celebration". Well, technically, I went to Olympia with the intention of spending the day with a young woman, and we ended up going to this Ethnic Celebration.
Now that, in and of itself, I found a bit strange… the celebration of ethnicity. I mean… I can certainly understand celebrating one particular ethnicity, but not ethnicity in general. I mean, picture a general music vs. a jazz festival. I mean avid fans of rap, gospel, heavy metal, country, and jazz under one roof. To me, it would seem more like a freak show than any kind of festival to celebrate the appreciation of music. As for the ethnic celebration? Why feel the need to parade precisely what makes you different?
But even then I find the practice of celebrating one particular ethnicity a bit curious. I mean, I see my ethnicity as of relatively little significance. It is only a piece of who I am, it doesn't define who I am. Not to say that I'm ashamed of it, but to me it is not significantly more noteworthy than hair color. I haven't seen widely held Brunette Celebration… Have you?
A few years ago I started reading up on being multi-cultural, more specifically on Asian-Americans. It was about this time when I was first introduced to the term Orientalism.
Latent Orientalism is the unconscious, untouchable certainty about what the Orient is. Its basic content is static and unanimous. The Orient is seen as separate, eccentric, backward, silently different, sensual, and passive. It has a tendency towards despotism and away from progress. It displays feminine penetrability and supine malleability. Its progress and value are judged in terms of, and in comparison to, the West, so it is always the Other, the conquerable, and the inferior.I also found out (then to my surprise) that many folks from Asian descent don't like the term Oriental for precisely this reason. I mean… what comes to mind when you hear the term Oriental rug? I mean, do you really think of its region of origin as much as you think of it as exotic?
Maybe my objections to celebrating ethnicity extend from the fact that I believe that most people choose not to learn much about other cultures and mindsets. Sure they interested enough to ask you to say certain words in a [to them] foreign language, but not enough to find out not only what makes you different, but also what makes you alike. Sadly enough oftentimes you become little more than their token Chinese friend. It's still an "us vs. them" thing. You see… I was also quite guilty of this.
A few years ago, I was starting to spend more time with a particular friend of mine. We would often get dinner together… play games together… chat about the meaning of life… you know, the general stuff friends do. We even started going to the gym together. One night on the way to a movie we were discussing his dilemma with his church and his newfound relationship. At first, we didn't go precisely into the details why his church might disapprove. A number of things crossed my mind, maybe she's from a different faith… maybe she's divorced… maybe she's married. I think our conversation went something like this...
Me: "Is there something wrong with this woman?"Needless to say it, threw me for a loop. I'll admit that my first question was, "You're not attracted to me, are you?" I needed some time to digest it (about the length of the movie). As much as I hate to admit it, I probably wouldn't have gotten to know him as well had I known he was gay to begin with. With that lesson, there's a part of me that learned that some lessons in life have to be pretty tough and every once in a while people need to fall into the trap of their own prejudice. I know I did. We're still very good friends.
Him: "Nothing wrong with the person, it is the nature of the relationship."
Me: "Is she married?"
Him: "Not married."
Me: "Well, what is it then? Are you Gay?" [with a mixture of sarcasm and mock]
Him: "Well, actually… Yes!"
Me: "Oohh"
Being such kaleidoscope of different cultures, I always thought of myself as being particularly open to different mindsets and communities. That is, until I was hit with this. Although I was raised Catholic, I was fortunate enough to have drifted from it before many of the ugly judgmental teachings started. Still, all things considered, I was really ill prepared for this. Isn't it funny how the best lessons in life are the ones that give you a hard slap to the face? Now, I don't look at him as my gay friend, at look at him as my friend who happens to be gay. There's so much more to who he is than just Gay. He is dedicated. He is gifted. He is an only-child. He is funny. He [still] struggles with his faith. And yes, he is also gay.
I suppose that maybe that's the way I see ethnicity. Just simply part of who a person is. Not enough to define a person, not even enough to make any reasonable guesses as to how the person might behave. And seeing as though I was raised in at least three distinct communities, I never though anything particularly noteworthy about ethnicity [yes, I realize that puts me in the minority…]. Being trilingual for me is as natural as swimming is to others [not to me though, I can't swim], and I don't see any festivals on the celebration of knowing how to swim or whatever circumstances made swimming such a natural feat for some.
I'm sure part of it extends from the fact that I'm often critical about ethnic conformity. I mean don't get me wrong, I pride myself on having an open mind, and identifying with your community is certainly a good refuge. However there are a couple of problems with being a part of a community. First, how do we cope with the times when our belief system is in conflict with our community's? Mixed marriages for instance; would you deny yourself your one true love if (s)he were the wrong race, nationality, or religion? Next, how often do we forgo our ability to make our own decisions for ones that are more popular? Case and point, how many college-educated Asian students do you know that are not technical majors? How many of them do you think even really considered non-technical majors?
I'm Asian-American. People often mistake me as something else. I remember one time, an (Eastern Indian) man approached me and said something to the effect of, "Isn't it ironic, the two of us being 'Indian' and yet not the same."; to which I delightfully responded with, "There's only one problem with that theory… I'm not Indian". Why was I so amused? It shattered any of the preconceived notions of who I am and thusly how I should behave because of who I am.
I'm Asian-American. It describes; it does not define me.
April 11, 1999