In a surprising move, members of Theta Tau Engineering fraternity voted 10-4 last Thursday to blackball pledge brother Jesus of Nazareth. The ruling came after two and a half hours of deliberation among the brothers. Sources cite Jesus’ refusal to wear a pledge pin and his oftentimes ‘probing’ questions during brother interviews as cause for the action.

"That bastard NEVER wore the pin; not even during pledge court! Plus, he never wore professional dress! Always the flowing robes! What’s with the flowing robes!? I wanted to ball the pledge from the very start," notes brother Lindsey Heitman. Brother Hisham Akhonbay adds, "He asked me a lot of personal questions about my religion. He kept urging me to ‘open my heart to the Lord.’ That really freaked me out."

While these reasons were explained to Jesus by big brother, Jason Boig, other chapter members had their own personal views on the matter.

Jesus often didn’t accompany the chapter to social events, opting instead to heal lepers and spread the word of the Lord. Fellowship Chair Steve Magnusson recounts, "That guy never wanted to go clubbing or hit the bars. I don’t think he even once made it to happy hour at Tequila Grill. He was always hanging out with the lepers. Always the lepers." Brother Theresa Foll adds, "I personally thought he was pretty cute. I LOVE his goatee -- really sexy. But dammit, he never wanted to party. If you ask me, I think he’s gay."

Some brothers admitted his stoicism was intimidating. "I was showing him all this great porn I have downloaded on my computer and he kinda just sat there. He didn’t say anything, but afterwards, all my naked Tia Carrere pictures were mysteriously replaced with images of cherubs and crucifixes. There’s something really wrong with that dude," notes brother Andrew Dimock. Lisa Stronawski, Treasurer, and self-proclaimed agnostic recounts, "Jesus was one scary pledge. He reminds me of Trent Reznor with brown hair. I would not want to be in a room alone with that guy."

Despite these claims, Jesus was very popular with the pledge class often helping others with coursework and displaying leadership. "Yeah, Jesus is da’ bomb. If it weren’t for him I’d be, like, failing Calc. III. That motherfucker sure knows his triple integrals," notes Electrical Engineering freshman and pic, James Freeman. Pledge brother, Lucy Wyn, claims Jesus was "quite a leader." "If I weren’t sleeping with James I’d have voted him class pic," adds Lucy.

When asked to comment on the balling, Jesus responded noncommittally, "I am the son of God. These engineers will either open their hearts to me, or their souls will be lost mercilessly to the hands of Satan." When asked if he would rush another fraternity, Jesus exploded into a flash of bright light and was gone.

Thursday’s blackballing of Jesus was the first by the local chapter since 1996, when Civil Engineering junior Stuart Bennet was balled for badmouthing the Star Wars trilogy.