i cried you out of my head that night
memories spilling from my eyes
onto cold, unwashed hands
my way of will
the only form of will
that worked
previous venues exhausted
worn
un-wavering
i cried you out of my head that night
i beat myself
memory's sight blackened and bruised

fist to skull
fist to skull
fist to skull
"get out of my head!"
i screamed
i cried
"get out of my head..."
i whimpered
myself to sleep

and, just like that
you were gone
a solo seaman cast a-sea
out of my head

that night i cried because you returned to my head
sloshed against the shores of my mind
pushing and probing
buttons and thoughts
only you were still gone
away
not here
that night i cried because you returned to my head
and so the hope returned
quiet accompaniment

i beat myself
fist to chest
fist to chest
fist to chest
to make it stop beating
because the drowning pain of hope
is the most ruthless

this night
i feel as if there is no liquid left within me
this night
i am dry

By Sarah Hulin