One day, Joe complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor.” His friend said,” don’t do that.  There’s a
computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker & cheaper
than  a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your
problem and tell you what you can do about it and it only costs
$10.00.”  Joe figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a
urine sample and  went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he
poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started
making some noise and the various lights started flashing. After a brief
pause out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy labor. It will be better
in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how
it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this
Computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.  He mixed
together some Tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples
from his wife and daughter.  To top it off, he masturbated into the
concoction.  He went back to the drug store, located the computer,
poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.  The machine again made
the usual noises and printed out the slip:
Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm.
Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant - twin girls.
They aren’t yours.
Get a lawyer.
And if you don’t stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better