Create Your Own Myrtle Story
*********************************
Sam and Casey were all ready to leave for Myrtle Beach! Sam made sure she had her
sundress
birth control pills
smurfs
pet tarantula
raw hamburger meat
condoms
, while Casey checked to make sure her
contacts
fake boobs
guns
severed limb collections
Scootboards
owl pellets
where safely put in her suitcase. They also made sure they had their tickets for
the 3D show
the bullfight
the mudwrestling contest
the Titanic
the science fair
the strip joint
the weasle races
. As soon as they got there, they
swam in the ocean
wished we they in biology
died
set the condo on fire
helped Megan deliver twins
ate cheese
.
The bellboy
President Clinton
Doug Butabi
E.T.
Heather Locklear
Hitler
Casey's dog Basil
Saddam Hussein
Sam's butt
The Beachboys
Simba
Sideshow Bob
Mulder and Scully
placed their bags in their rooms. That night they
walked
swam
jiggled
sold drugs
around
Barefoot Landing
The Roxbury
Africa
Melrose Place
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory
. They also went to a
souveneir shop
porn shop
bloodbank
smurf town
night club
pen factory
to purchase some
postcards
Christmas CD's
nuclear weapons
fake toenails
palm trees
tweezers
for their friends. After that, they felt
hungry
horny
nauseous
insane
ugly
, so they went to
Joe's Crab Shack
Iraq
Fred's party to get jiggy wit it
Spice Girls concert
The North Pole
Old Navy
. Unfortunatley, Megan forgot her
money
condoms
flip-flops
zit cream
dad
, but Sam said she could borrow hers. Later on in the week, they went to the Hard Rock Cafe. Casey thought the waiter was
hot
sassy
tipsy
snippy
retarded
senile
racist
so she
acted flirty
ordered a milkshake
peed her pants
shot him
ate the table cloth
ran out of the restraunt screaming "head for the hills"
started speaking spanish
. Casey and Megan both ordered
burgers
sushi
fried green tomatoes
monkey brains
green eggs and ham
, but Sam had to be different and got
a salad
tomato pie
5 year old Jolly Ranchers
oyster crackers
measles
. One night they stayed up late making shadow puppets of their teachers on the wall. One of their teachers,
Mr. Barnes
Edna Crabapple
Mr. DiMartino
Alf
Ginger Spice
Bill Gates
Elvis
Lucille Ball
, looked like a duck. After they got tired of that, they went out on the balcony and recorded
cute guys on the beach
Sam stripping
Casey's grandma
Megan jumping off the balcony
a tidal wave
someone being mugged
rabid bears invading the neighboring condos
. By mid-week, Sam and Megan decided to mail some
postcards
dead cats
Hindus
gold bars
used Kleenexs
dead Christmas trees
to their parents. Later on, they decided to buy a cheap alarm clock. They wanted to get up early to
collect shells
summon the "corners" and become full-fledged witches
find Megan's grandpa
skinny-dip with some fellas
go Trick-or-Treating
chop down palm trees and make a hut so they could become hermits
on the beach. Casey stepped on a sharp seashell and exclaimed,
"Ow!"
"Froinlaven!"
"I need a cigarette!"
"Praise the lord!"
"Well, shut my mouth and paint me red!"
"Boop boop be doop!"
"MOOOOOOOO"
. The last night they were there, they watched
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
a documentary on Silly Putty
the video of rabid bears attacking neighboring condos
an actual video of the Titanic sinking
the politically correct version of Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
. Their last day was spent
packing
acting like hobos
going on a murdering spree
washing socks
pretending to be seagulls
eating the couch
invading Iraqi air space
having a "conference" with Bill Clinton
.
Casey's dad
Posh Spice
The entire population of Zimbabwe
Megan's ex-husband
Ally McBeal
Aladdin
Marylin Manson
Insane Clown Posse
Satan
Caesar
Their biology teacher
packed up the van. They were on their way home. Although the trip was over, they would always have the
memories
dead jellyfish
rabid bears
porta-potties
Spaniards
corpses they found on the beach
heroin
to cherish forever.
The
End
Finish
Wind-Up
Conclusion
Finale
Closing
Discontinuation
Expiration
Stopping Point
Termination
End of the Line
.
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