Reader's feedback, Nov 2003


Here are some letters from readers of this website, the newest letters on top. All e-mail addresses and names have been anonymized to protect the sender's privacy. Brackets in red (...) indicate deleted portions.

Some people request non-anonymization to allow other readers to send them feedback. If you want to reply to these people, please send your reply to the email address in the header of their mail, not to spankwithlove@hotmail.com. Thanks!
 


 
From:    v...@worldnet.att.net
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: section about teens asking parents to spank them
Date:    Sunday, November 30, 2003

hi,

i liked your section about teens asking their parents to spank them.

you mentioned referring the parents to others who were spanked. in that same connection it might be good to encourage teens to talk to their friends and associates about who gets spanked and what they think about it. and exchange ideas.
 


 
From:    l...@primus.ca
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: (none)
Date:    Friday, November 28, 2003

How to get spanked as a teenager.

first of all the spankings for children is parents looking for respect. now the child is a teenager so now the parents turn to respect the young adult.

if you feel you need to be spank you the teenager then you probably need to convince your parents to give you a list of punishments. if you were spanked as a child then it probably be on the list.

(from Canada)
 


 
From:    e...@yahoo.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Comment on spanking fetishism
Date:    Tuesday, November 25, 2003

I read your chapter on spanking fetishism and I feel that it's important to point out the connection between childhood spankings and fetishism. I was spanked many times during my youth, usually by my mother. After growing up, I took a profound interest in spanking. Later, I realized that I get a rise whenever I think about spanking. Today, I know that I am a spanking fetishist. I don't think that it's anything bad, but it does limit the kind of relationships that I have. There is no doubt in my mind that my sexual interest in spanking came from my being spanked in childhood. Therefore, I decided never to spank my children, lest they become fetishists in adulthood.

Thank you

P.S. I wish for this message to be posted anonymously.
 


 
From:    l...@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: spanking chart
Date:    Friday, November 14, 2003

(Note: this letter is a bit long, so it has been put on an extra page.)

view letter
 


 
From:    m...@pacbell.net
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: You answered all my questions but I have a few more
Date:    Friday, November 14, 2003

Hi!

I have spent several nights looking for websites to help me. Your site answered many of my questions.

I have two girls 4 and 7 and their defiance and name calling (I am talking four letter words toward their mother) needs serious consequences. I have always been anti-spanking but now I realize it can be an effective last measure tool.

My husband doesn’t want to spank the girls because he feels like his size and firmness work and he was also spanked a lot for no apparent reason as a child. So, is it okay that I will be the only one administering spankings? (After I set out boundaries, expectations, and consequences to the girls, I would let them know this). Also, does it matter where in your house you do this? After the spanking and re-connecting, should I send my child to their room for awhile?

I really appreciated all the detail in your website. It helped a lot now that I have made this decision.

Thanks!
 


 
From:    k...@aol.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: (no subject)
Date:    Friday, November 14, 2003

dear spank with love,

My parents are catholic and believe in corpal punishment. They ground me as well if i mess up in school so i will stay home to study. Their method is if i sneak out which i have been known to do, or get caught drinking or something to that sort they make me go to my room. My dad will come in after they discuss how many . My Dad does almost all of the spanking and mom stays out of it usually. I am made to lie over my desk right when he comes in the room, with pants down and underwear on, if I am not bending over the desk right when he comes in I will recieve more. So right when he catches me i go straight up and get over the desk. He uses the "layered cake method" and he spanks me with his hand until i cry, then he talks about how worried he his when i sneak out and about how i just can't do it . Then he takes off his belt and spanks me. It hurts alot and i am mad but it sure makes me think twice about sneaking out again.
 


 
From:    l...@gerg.tamu.edu
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Spanking a Step Child (Comment To Mary's Post on Feb 2002)
Date:    Wednesday, November 12, 2003

(Note: this mail refers to a letter from February 2002)

"hello. i found out about your website through a friend. i have a problem in my home, and i was hoping you could help me. i have recently married my second husband, John. he is wonderful to me, and to my 12 year old daughter, Christy. he has 2 children, one is 8 and the other is 14. they have never been anything but respectful to me and Christy. Christy is not at all respectful to any of them, i think she doesnt want them to replace her father. ...John has however often wanted to spank her, when she is disrspectful. i told him not to, but yesterday she came home at 1:30 am, after being grounded. when john started yelling at her, she kicked him in his shin. now, i am beginning to consider letting john spank her...."

While it is tempting to nip such potential disrespect in the bud, I think you have to consider what is driving the behavior. To Christy, her nuclear family has been destroyed and 3 interlopers are now living in her home. It is totally normal for her to be very angry and to resent their presence. She didn't choose to divorce her dad and replace him with a stranger. Her mother did. Christy behaved defensively at being yelled at by a large adult male to whom she is not related and to whom she is not bonded. I can't really fault her for that, and letting him apply physical and psychological domination in the form of a spanking isn't going to make her want to accept him as a father. He isn't. Let the bio mom mete out any discipline to her own daughter and let the bio dad stick with disciplining his own kids. To let someone just move in and start spanking one's child, especially a teen who has never had this type of discipline, is unfair. She's already in emotional distress and grieving for her loss. It is cruel to allow Mom's current spouse to add to that and to strike her. He'd be much better off to win her with kindness and attention.
 


 
From:    l...@gerg.tamu.edu
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: An Adult Woman Spanked By Her Husband? This is Not Christian Doctrine!
Date:    Tuesday, November 11, 2003

(Note: this mail refers to a letter from December 26, 2000)

I would like to reply to this post from a newly married Southern Baptist woman whose husband spanks her "on occasion". Unless this is consensual foreplay, this is a very sick situation. An adult woman is exactly that - an adult. As such she deserves and commands respect as such and no man has the right to treat her like a child. The days of parental discipline are finished, and it is time for her to be the adult in her new nuclear family. It is not part of any Christian docrine, including Baptist, to allow a husband to beat his wife. The Bible specifically says God will not listen to the prayers of a man who mistreats his wife.
 


 
From:    d...@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: (none)
Date:    Wednesday, November 12, 2003

I must say, you have a very well presented site. Thank you so much for printing valuble information to "educate the masses".

I'm an 18 year old girl now, but I was spanked often when I was younger. The "layer cake" method was used often with the "over the lap" and "standing, hands against the wall". I was spanked both with the open hand and with a switch. The spankings stopped when I was 10 or so because I behaved so well (apparently). I think my parents could have done my sisters and I greater service if they continued to spank us. Even maintenance spankings every 2 weeks or so would be enough to keep us on our merry way. I know the kind of stuff my sisters get into... it's not the kind of stuff a good talking to or a grounding will fix. A grounding or a talking to doesn't fix sleeping around or doing drugs or lying. Only a good hard session with the switch will get them back on track. I'm considering bringing up the topic of spankings... but I'll see how it goes. Maybe the next time one of them comes home drunk, I'll bring it up. I think they might just be sufficiently irrate to go for it (in love, of course).

Thank you for your awesome insight.
 


 
From:    k...@yahoo.com.au
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Your website and our familys experience...from a very concerned Dad.
Date:    Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Dear Sir.

(...) A 52 year old single man who, by his own admission, is a 'self confessed spanking addict' (...) has for some time now been sending spanking pornography to my 13 year old child having obtained her email address from the letter you posted on your site.

(...) I wonder if, as a matter of child protection, it wouldn't be better and safer to anonymise all those emails you publish on your site when those emails are written by teens aged under 16?

Yours

(from Australia. Note: this request will be implemented effective immediately.)
 


 
From:    a...@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: my views
Date:    Tuesday, November 11, 2003

dear swl,

i have been reading your site for a while now, and finally decided i needed to write in. i am anti-spanking, but your site nearly changed my mind, at least at first. i have never been spanked, not that i can remember anyway. my parents i think did start when i was young, but they went to a child development seminar while i was still very young (about 5) and realised it was wrong and stopped. now, i am not your typical anti-spanking lunatic. i am not against it because i believe it encourages violence or any nonsense like that. i am against it mainly because it doesn't work. i know, i know, you are going to answer 'oh but it does' and give me examples of why. but if your aim is to bring up a child prepared for the adult world, so they can make decisions about right and wrong, then it doesnt work. if your aim is simply to curb bad behaviour and stop it happening again, then yes spanking is the perfect tool. you are right, bad behaviour + correction = good behaviour (most of the time). but what happens when the child leaves home. all spanking does is give a deterrent, even if you explain what they did wrong, all thats stopping the child from doing it again is the threat of being caught and spanked.when thy leave home, there is going to be a sense of 'phew i can do what i like now, im not going to get spanked'. the fact noone spanks them anymore also could make a build up of guilt occur (as shown in several letters) becasue they have no way of dealing with it themselves. another problem i can see, is that what if the spanking is not enough of a deterrent. now im 15. i love going to gigs, but often my parents stop me going for various reasons, such as its a school night, or its too late. now, if all that was stopping me, was the threat of a spanking if i disobeyed and went anyway, i would go! as i said before, i dont know how bad spankings hurt, ive never had one, which is a flaw in my arguement i guess, because i cant say for sure. what punishment would you give me for that offence if i was your daughter? (going to a gig when you specifically prohibited me going) just wonderin. but surely that happens? that a youth (teenagers more than kids) would choose to take the spanking because they so badly want to do the offence? now, i have never gne against my parnts wishes that drastically before, and why? when they dont spank me? well actually my parents are pretty strict. when i was a kid, when i made a 'bad choice' they would stand me in the corner, and make me think about it. (they started doing this when i was old enought to have language, so i could communicate properly) i would stay there until i could explain what i had done wrong, and make the 'right decision'... and say sorry. this is, effectively hat ou need to do as an adult. think about ur situations and make the right decision. only, as a child you need to be made to think about it. theres no need to go smacking kids, when they arent making decisions for themelves. with teenagers, ive been thinking about the situation a lot. all of my arguements have come from me thinking about it, reading your site, and making up my own mind, and the 'teenagers issue' was the hardest. i actually think spanking teenagers is more called for than smackin kids. i got a 4 year old brother, and hes often naughty. but i couldnt bear the thought of my parents smacking his liltle arse till he was screaming, crying, and his arse was red. it just doesnt sem humane. smacking a teenager till they have red arses is different, it would hurt just the same, but without the trauma. I really wouldnˇ¦t like to get spanked, especially bare arsed, im glad my parents donˇ¦t .now im older I donˇ¦t get cornered hardly at all. My parents simply guide me, and help me. They are still in charge, set rules and bedtimes, but donˇ¦t punish me as such. If I do something bad we settle it as adults. I have to think about my choices and their consequences. There still are consequences without parents making things worse. Such as school work suffering if I stay out late. All this is preparing me for adult life without my parents there to correct me. I do have some questions though, id be glad if you could answer, aswell as answering what punishment you would give me for disobeying. Could you give me some scenarios, like, some examples of typical teenager offences then give exactly what punishment you would give me if I were to commit them and was your daughter. Im trying to guage how severe spankings really are (or should be) for someone my age. Please answer and give your opinions.

Thank you.
 


 
From:    o...@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Question: Make an Exception For Teen Girls Who Are Menstruating?
Date:    Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Hello. I found you site informative and complete. However, I do have a question, since the idea of spanking teens and young adults was promoted. Any girl who has reached puberty will be wearing feminine hygeine products for a few days each month. Also, her physical discomfort (abdominal cramps, headache) may make her somewhat testier than she normally is. I find the thought of a parent, especially a father, removing her underclothes during this time of the month very disturbing. Her natural desire is to be clean and modest; uncovering the area counteracts this very desirable trait. A menstruating teen is physically a woman and as such should not be expected to be treated to a child's punishment. At very least I would grant them a moratorium on the spanking until the period is finished. I would be very interested to hear other readers' opinions on this topic. Please withhold my name. Thanks.

Sincerely,
 


 
From:    r...@tca.net
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Consider the Temperament of the Child - Not All Are Affected the Same
Date:    Friday, November 7, 2003

I think your website presents a sane, balanced approach to what is now a highly emotionally charged issue. I have a question, then a suggestion. The question is this: if you continue spanking into the teens and early adulthood, when does it stop? Can one spank one's elderly parents for childish infractions like wandering out into the street or setting a fire in the kitchen?

The suggestion is this. Remember, even within a family not all children have the same temperament or react in the same way. I remember growing up my younger brother got upset at the time but was merrily playing with friends out in the yard soon after. I reacted with absolute panic and absolutely could not be talked to or reasoned with. The only thing I could see was that someone a lot bigger than me was about to hurt me and I was frantic to escape or fight back. I remember biting a hunk out of my dad's arm once and on another occasion pulling out a handful of hair. My motive wasn't rebellion, but fight or flight. My grandmother's discipline was to get me to think about what I'd done and the effects it had on me and on the other person. She never ever raised a hand to me, so I was not afraid when she discussed my transgression with me. I was quite willing to listen and to repent. So what I am saying here is that the parent must recognize that for some kids being struck is terrifying and counterproductive. Pinning them into impossible positions will only panic them more. For those kids be a smart parent and come up with something that actually fits the crime, like restitution.
 


 
From:    n...@yahoo.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Great site, but i've got questions...
Date:    Friday, November 7, 2003

Hi, i'm an eighteen-year-old girl, and i came upon your site the other day. I think your site's great, really informative. After reading it, I've thought of some of my misdeeds when I was younger and some of my more recent ones, and kinda wondering if i should've been spanked. Things like shoplifting (my mom only knew about the attempted one and she only lectured me with my sister in the car and might've grounded me) and stealing things at home. I shoplifted a lot, but stopped when it made me feel too guilty, but i still tend to take my dad's money when nobody's around. It's a compulsion, and i'm wondering if spanking could've straightened it out. Not that i actually want to get spanked. When I was little I was sent to a babysitter before and after school and some of the kids there got spanked, and i was absolutely terrified of being spanked, which has kinda caused to be mostly a good girl, which i wouldn't be if i had the guts to go the other way. When i do something i shouldn't do i get grounded (which is stupid because i barely go anywhere anyway, there is one person that I keep contact with outside of family and the only thing that does is make me depressed and lonely, and my mom thinks i've got agoraphobia anyway! i'm just afraid of crowds, i think) or lose my radio, TV, or computer privileges. All those punishments don't really do anything to me, I just read and write and wait it out, and i'd probably do the same thing and be careful not to get caught.

I just want some suggestions, what do you think will work.

Sincerely,
 


 
From:    m...@333.org
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Spank With Love
Date:    Wednesday, November 5, 2003

Hello,

As parents of a 3 year-old boy, my husband and I read your website with great interest, and we thank you for its wonderful store of sensible and balanced advice on its subject.

As he's grown older, our son's behavior has gotten worse, and the methods we've used until now getting less and less effective. After discussing it and consulting with professionals, we've decided to add spanking to our "arsenal". We think that 4-8 smacks on his clothed or underpant-clad backside will be sufficient, but aren't sure which position to use: standing up and reaching behind him seems awkward for any more than one smack, but "over the lap" too elaborate and ritualized for the immediate shock effect we have in mind. Are we off and is one of those methods probably the best one, or is there another, better way we haven't thought of?

Also, what should we call it, a spanking, or would a more descriptive phrase such as "a smack" or "slap your bottom" be preferable?

Again, thanks for the great website, and for any advice you can send our way!
 


 
From:    v...@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Disciplining older children
Date:    Tue, 04 Nov 2003

I agree that young children need firm discipline. However, after puberty, technically, an individual is an adult. While many people may argue that, psychologically, this is not so, the notion of psychological maturity is relative and many people in their 30s are not more mature than some of the most mature teenagers. Teenagers are young adults trapped in the social role of children because nowadays, they rarely work full-time or marry at that age. In fact, in some cases, adults who continue their education or can't find a decent job still depend on their parents at an age when nobody says that they are not adults, for example until their mid-twenties. I think that it is morally wrong for parents to even think that they should discipline their physiologically adult children (and that applies for any kind of discipline). I can't believe a father would spank his 18-year-old son for smoking in his house. Will he still do it when his son turns 25?
 


 
From:    a...@yahoo.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Spanking...
Date:    Mon, 3 Nov 2003

PLEASE keep my e-mail address and info private! Thank you!

I am writing in response and admiration for the 23 year old woman who wrote in from Finland (aug 12, 2003). Her story and thoughts were almost IDENTICAL to mine. I too, found your site while searching online for spanking fetish sites, not guidance in parenting. I too, have a spanking fetish. I am 22, live in the united states and am a healthy, attractive and stable part of society. I was raised by my father and stepmother, and was very rarely spanked as a child. I have ALWAYS had a fetish, for as long as I can possibly remember... seriously... since the age of 3 or 4. I of course never enjoyed the spankings I recieved as a child, but they were almost always very quick and painful but always with a wooden spoon. In fact, I found the entire experience extremely traumatizing and disturbing. I could never understand or imagine how children survived spankings with implements such as belts or canes, or as frequently as even once a month. (I recieved mine 1-2 times a year)... also... it may be good to know I turned out fine: a 4.0 student, no serious trouble, etc... etc...

I can remember nearly every time in my life that I ever saw someone else spanked, or even heard someone speak of it. THis DOES NOT MEAN that I am in ANY WAY attracted to the spanking/ punishment of children, in fact spanking of children disturbs me to this day. It blows my mind that people can speak so freely about these things, with such seriousness and ease. To me, spanking is entirely sexual. I dont have children, but I am sure that I would never (obviously) be able to spank them, no matter what wrong they did. I don't fully understand my fetish, and I dont know where it comes from. Maybe its the "ritual" of it, or the "bond" between parent and child that I never had in my childhood... maybe that's what I have always lacked and somehow "sexualized" in order to experience it in my adulthood. Like the woman from Finland, my boyfriend doesn't fully understand it, but accepts it, and spanks me when I have been "naughty". But the problem is, I cannot get fully aroused without thinking or visualizing the act of being spanked. (by the way, I am hardly ever interested in being the spanker)It has taken me almost 20 years to even be able to SAY the word SPANK and I have only the internet to thank for being able to say it now. I am trying to desenstize myself from it, so that in society, I don't react in such an odd way if it is ever mentioned.

another thing... I agree, that if a spanking is going to be administered, it should ONLY be done with the hand. However, all the stuff on your site about spanking teenagers is absolutely absurd to me. Teenagers are such sexual beings, filled with hormones and curiosity. I think that spanking a teen can only lead to harm. Also,there was an email from a woman who wanted to spank her neice that was PREGNANT!!! I mean, COME ON!!! She said that she would not spank the girl until the baby was born... but just THINK about that. SPANKING a mother, as if she was a young girl. As a MOTHER she is now responsible for herself and her child. I was completely appalled by that email. And, one more thing. I dont believe for a second that any teenager would want to get spanked: unless it was for sexual arousal.

So... that was my two cents. I am very thankful for the email from the woman in Finland, because it opened my eyes and made me feel okay about things... as I should be.

Thank you... and again, please dont list my name/email.
 


 
From:    f...@juno.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: (none)
Date:    Sun, 2 Nov 2003

thanks for writing me back. I have since got another spanking before you wrote me back. This time it was also bare bottom but in different stages. I think they are trying several different methods to see what works best since until lately i hadn't been spanked much. Anyway this time i got a few light swats over my clothes, then a few over my underpants then a few bare all bending over. I t didn't hurt too much just a little. Then i took my bath and had to leave my bottom wey when it was over then got some more swats wet bottomed those hurt more and then i had to do to my room with a towel wrapped around me and waite i got a few more swats over the bed once again bare. By the time it was over my butt was red and sore. But i didn't bruise this time. Remember i'm the one who was bruised by the spatula on the bare butt. O a thing like a paint stick was used but it was thicker. It honestly hurt more than the spatula but i also got more over a longer period of time. I'm scared to talk to my because i don't want to give them any ideas on hoe to spank me but i really don't think they eill use the spatula again. I don't think they meant to bruise me. They are not like that. I think they liked this method and will ues it again which is okay i guess. but i'm going to try to be better. Please let me know what you think. You said you didn't like a spatula and i know they don't like to use their hand is there any other way?

thanks
 


 
From:    k...@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: my mom decided
Date:    Sat, 01 Nov 2003

I had sent you a email asking if there was anything you could do to help me out with my mom grounding me. I had talked to her about spanking after emailing you and she said she would consider it, but she was a litle shocked. it has been awhile and i had forgoten about it until this morning. My mom came in earlier and sat down on my bed and said she wanted to talk to me. she told me to stand in front of her and to be quiet and listen. she said that she was going to do things differently from now on and started to undo my pants. I was a little taken back and noticing my mom said she was going to spank me with my pants down. I really didn't know what to say as she yanked my underwear down though. She laid me over her lap and told me about how she had been thinking about what we had talked about and that a spanking might improve my behavior. She spanked me untill i was crying and kicking but I think i made a good choice in talking to you and my mom. I also think i will probably have a sore but for a while :)
 


 
From:    f...@yahoo.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: i did it
Date:    Sat, 1 Nov 2003

(For background, see this senders mail dated October 25, 2003)

dear sir,

I went to K(...)'s house( my best friend she gets spanked ) and talked to her mom about my parents spanking me, She then went to talk to my parents about the topic, they agreed to start spanking me again for misdeeds. K(...)'s Mom had brought a paddle to give to my parents so they could spank me with the paddle. K(...)'s Mom, Me and my parents talked about how the spankings should be done we decided bare bottom with a paddle and that my mom will spank and bare my bottom and if i am uncooperative that spanking will be longer and harder,. K(...)'s Mom came about Oct.23 around then.

Well on Halloween I was to check in at 9:30. I decided to come home with my friends at 11:00 ( my friends were sleeping over) My mom Told them to come go to my room and that I would be up in 20 minutes my mom took me in her room she got her paddle and I sat on her bed next to her we talked about what was going to happen she then stood me up and pulled my pants and completely off and pulled my panties down to my ankles she put me on her lap and started spank me with the paddle she did this for about 7 minutes dang it hurt I was crying after the first 3 minutes . i then had corner time for about 20 minutes my pants still off and my panties to my ankles and went and slept over with my friends.We talked more about it in the morning I really learned what be home on time means thanks for the advice I'm now turning my life around!!!
 


 
From:    d...@virgin.net
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: 'Drop-Seat' Pyjamas - Best Idea for Teenagers
Date:    Sat, 1 Nov 2003

I'm a male from the U.K. and was born in the 1970's. I was generally a fairly well behaved child and was loved very much by my parents. However there were occasions when I misbehaved badly and would need to be punished. Punishments were usually groundings, loss of privileges or spankings. Mum was the one who spanked me and she always did so with an open palm on my buttocks. Between the ages of 6-10 years of age most of my spankings were given to me with my trousers and underpants down while I was over Mum's knee and I usually received between 20 - 30 slaps.

Between the ages of 11 - 14 Mum still believed in spanking me occasionally if I deserved it but she felt it immodest for my genitals to be exposed while she punished me. Mum considered spanking me over my underpants but thought that my bottom wouldn't sting enough by having her hand smack fabric rather than bare skin. Whenever I wore pyjamas I never wore undies so that the air could circulate around my testes. On a shopping trip with me she came across a pair of 'drop-seat' pyjamas and thought this was ideal - not only did I need some new jammies anyway but she said to me, "The drop seat which unzips is ideal for whenever you need a spanking." So Mum from then on whenever Mum spanked me she would wait until the evening and ask me to change into my 'drop-seat' pyjamas. She would then come upstairs to my bedroom to explain to me why I needed to be spanked then ask me to expose my buttocks and bend over the bed. Mum would then proceed to handspank the cheeks of my bottom hard then comfort me etc. as usual afterwards.

I never felt embarrassed about being spanked this way even when I had my last spanking at the age of 14! Although I found having a sore bottom after a spanking a little unpleasant it didn't seem unnatural at all for me to bare just my bottom for punishment.

All in all I've turned out to be a decent and healthy young man and have learnt how to behave with the aid of a few maternal spankings! This site is very informative and gives common sense and practical advice to parents about how to spank children non-abusively, non-excessively and with lots and lots of love.

Well done S.W.L., top site.

(from the UK)
 


 
From:    g...@aol.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Spank With Love
Date:    Sat, 1 Nov 2003

In response to your webpage,

I understand your mentality. Years ago mother was also a victim of the same brainwashing taught to her by her so called Christian friends. All those glory alleluia books about written by zealous authors like Roy Lessin and James Dobson. She was woman who was very much alone, widowed at 29 and reaching out for help on how to raise her only child. Who better to turn to than good Christian upstanding folks who's values represented those of God, right. WRONG!!!! First of all, there is no such thing as a loving spanking. Christians use this bogus excuse to abuse their children. "God commands us to spank our children. Spare the rod spoil the child" All this kind of nonsense. Let me ask you this. If a husband hits his wife, very much like in the manner you describe in your website, does he do this because he loves her? You would respond to this, NO. I ask you, why not? Are the two principles the same? oh course they are. Many women who were taught that their parents spanked them because they love them, learn to associate violence with love. You may argue this, but I know this to be true. Many women interpret a man's violent tendencies as a sign that he must really love her. These scriptures advocating corporal violence towards children in the name of discipline were written by ignorant controlling barbaric men who did all things in the name of God because God told them to. Or so they thought. God never inspired these practices. God never inspired these scriptures. These scriptures were written by power hungry controlling men who thought they were talking to God. Violence is evil. Evil is separation from God. All spanking does is put fear into a child, this may modify their behavior somewhat, but that is not discipline. This is control. Parents want a quick fix. Spanking gets quick results and then lifelong mental anguish for adults who were spanked as children. If a parent puts a sign on the wall "Naughty kids will be spanked" what message does this give? "I control you. Your mind and body". Nobody has right to control and violate someone else's body. This is why so many young ones are being molested, then too afraid to tell. Spanking is an old worn out practice that has been proven to be disastrous and should be outlawed in all forms. The way this affected me in my adulthood was that I actually hit my mother on several occasions. Though I deeply regret this now, I was simply acting out what I was taught as a child. To control someone, I must hit. When I was using the techniques you describe in your site on my son, he became angry, anti social and aggressive with other kids. I never really hit him that hard, not what most would call abuse. But the damage was evident. Once I decided to go against the bible and spare the rod, my son immediately improved. I stopped being a lazy parent and learned to discipline him, not control him, by teaching him right from wrong. It was not the easy way but it was the right way. What I say to you and all the rest of the spanking advocates, stop using love as an excuse to hit. Most kids won't be that badly affected by moderate hitting, but other grow up like I did. Angry, mean and ready to strike back. Some will go on shooting rampages and others will simply become wife beaters or child abusers or end up in jail. Hitting is wrong, and stop using an ancient text to justify obvious violence. Violence breeds violence and can never be of love. Our society keeps changing and spanking has never been more of a dangerous tool as it is today. Many parents are seeing this and abandoning this barbaric practice. Spanking needs to be stopped and parents must be made accountable for their violent actions. Stop treating children as property to be controlled and abused and treat children as people with rights and feelings. And most importantly, don't believe everyone the good book says. It's full ancient traditions that have no place in the modern world. The only cruel custom from the bible still being practiced today is child beating. The fruits of this epidemic is evident in our youth. Time to wake and put an end to this garbage, our children's futures depend on it.
 


 



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Last update: Dec-16-2003