Reader's feedback, Apr 2004


Here are some letters from readers of this website, the newest letters on top. All e-mail addresses and names have been anonymized to protect the sender's privacy. Brackets in red (...) indicate deleted portions.

Some people request non-anonymization to allow other readers to send them feedback. If you want to reply to these people, please send your reply to the email address in the header of their mail, not to spankwithlove@hotmail.com. Thanks!
 


 
From:    l...@yahoo.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: (none)
Date:    Thursday, April 15, 2004

I actually came upon your site while I was looking to find information about corporal punishment in schools for a paper I needed to write. Although this issue isn't addressed, you have some great facts (and humor--love the poems!) on your website. Did you ever think about adding a section on that topic? I'd be happy to help in any way I could.

I noticed many readers shared experiences with spanking--either from the giving end or the receiving end. As for me, I honestly have not had much experience on either end; spankings were rare in my house and since I do not have children, I have never given one. Usually, when I was younger and misbehaved, my mom would grab me under my left arm, hold me close against her body, and give me two or three swats on my fully-clothed behind. Let me tell you--honestly, these are pointless. If I cried, it was only because I was sorry that I had disappointed her in the first place. My dad would often ask me, "Do you want a lickin'?" As any child's response would be, it was always no; however, even if I didn't straighten up after the threat, he never followed through. I knew I could always get away with just about anything when I was around my father. :-)

As I got older (maybe from around 8-11), my mother took over being the prime disciplinarian for obvious reasons. There were a few occasions that she pulled me over her knee and gave me a few hard smacks, but I never lost my pants. The last time I remember being spanked was around age 11--I was playing with some of my friends in the neighborhood and my mom had told me that I had to stay at this one friend's house. Well, everyone else was going down to the neighborhood playground and I figured it was safe enough to go with them--after all, how would my mom find out? Well, she walked up the road to get me because I needed to go home, and I wasn't there. She didn't know where I was and after a few minutes of searching, went back home. I picked that time to return and she was rather angry. First, she told me how much she loved me (and was worried about me), lectured me about my disobedience, and then I received a spanking with her open hand--as all my spankings were. Afterwards, I had to SIT (ouch!!!) in the corner and think about what I had done. When corner time was over, she gave me a hug and reiterated the fact that she loved me very much.

Although the spankings hurt at the time, I feel like I have a stronger bond with my mom. I am now 24, and like many of your readers, have turned out just fine--I do not feel like I was ever abused, but rather disciplined with love. Interestingly enough, my mom has drifted into the view that there are other ways to discipline kids other than spankings. When she first said that to me, I wondered why she didn't think of that before! But looking back, I realize that this pain I endured as a child has molded me into a responsible adult.
 


 
From:    treerun@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: my first spanking as a teen
Date:    Thursday, April 15, 2004

Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.

Dear Spank with love,

please dont anonymize people can see my email.

I am 18 now but my first spanking happen when I was 15. I moved in to a womans house because I was no longer living at my parents house. When I move in she told my that there are some rules that in her house and I need to be aware of them like what time I need to be home ,choirs and home work. She said that the consequences would be a simple spanking. I was never spanked before and did not think she was serious about it. After 5 months living with her I was she found out I had lied to her she said she found out by accident. and asked me about it. I gave in to admitted that I was lying to her about not going out after bed. She said she was very sad that I was doing that. and sad that I now needed to be punished. she took me in to the den and asked me to pull my pants down to my knees. I was thinking this cant be bad. I said I did not want too. she came over and bent me over the couch. and managed to take my pants down. She said I had a chouse to comply and take the spanking do. Or she was going to spank my bare bum over her lap. And that was going to be a spanking I would not forget soon. I am bent over the couch and told not to cover my bum up when she spanks me. I agree, and she starts to spank. It didn't hurt at first. then It really started to hurt. So I tried to move. I called her names and tried to get up. So she then pulled down am underwear and pulled me over to the char where she put me over her lap and started to spank my bare bum with her hand. I tried to kick my way out of it. I was stuck and had to take the spanking in the most embarrassing way. over her knee like a little child. I started to cry my bum hurt. and she did not stop spanking me. finely it was over. Is she wrong for spanking me over her lap. I am 18 and all most out of the house. I still get spanked like once a month. I have to follow the house rules until I leave. But I am 18 I think she should spank me bent over the couch not over her lap. what do you think? But the spanking make me behave better. Sam
 


 
From:    x...@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: in need of spanking
Date:    Tuesday, April 13, 2004

hi. im a 14 year old female. i have never been spanked before in my life (my parents dont believe in spanking) but i have been studying your site. and evidently, i want to be spanked. but i feel like a freak. i mean id be VERY embarressed if spanked by either of my parents, but the thought of being spanked makes me want a spanking. am i a freak? ever since i was a little girl i used to pretent that my stuffed animals were my parents and that they would spank me. sometimes i would even try to spank myself. am i a sick pervert? or do i just need a good spanking? maybe if i feel the pain of a spanking i wont ever want one again. please help me. reply as soon was possible... by the way i think your site is a wonderful way of teaching parents proper spanking routines. please do not show my email address or my name. thank you very much.

sincerly.
 


 
From:    c...@yahoo.ca
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: readers feedback
Date:    Friday, April 9, 2004

Dear Spank with love

Hello my name is C(...) I’m the mother of a 17 year old girl. She used to be a very well behaved girl always doing well in school and very well behaved. I used to spank her when up until she turned 13, but stopped because I thought she was too old for it. The past several years she has been slowly doing poorer in school and becoming more disrespectful towards me. We just haven’t been getting along well at all like we used to, I tried talking to her but we only ended up arguing. For the last year or so its been like this, with us just living with each other, instead of being a family.

Then yesterday she came home from school and asked if we could talk sometime tonight, which surprised me since she usually doesn’t want to talk to me. So I said we should talk after dinner just her and me. We had dinner as usual then sat down in the living room. She began by saying how she wasn’t happy with the way things were going between the two of us how we always fought and argued and how she wasn’t doing very well in school. She said she had been thinking about it for a long time and thought that she needed to be more strictly disciplined like when she was younger. I must say I was quite surprised at what she was saying I would have never expected it from her in a million years. So I asked her what she had in mind and she suggested I spank her like I used to. Needless to say this surprised me even more, I was shocked but not upset at all. I told her I thought she was too old for that kind of punishment and asked her if she really thought it would work at her age. Then she proceeded to show me your site on the computer, most notably the teenagers and readers feedback section. I couldn’t believe the number of other kids her age still receiving spankings; she left me alone to look at the site for a wile and said to come see her in her room when I had decided. Well after looking at your site for a wile, which I found very informative, non-bias and all around quite good. So I went back to her room to talk to her. I told her I was very proud of her for being so grown up and mature and I thought it would be great if we became close again. I said if she thought spankings were the best thing for her to be disciplined with then I would be more than willing to try disciplining her in that manner in the future. She smiled and said ok, then said that she would come up with a list of rules she though would be appropriate and how she though she should be spanked and go over them with me tomorrow.

I though I would write you for your feed back to let you know I think your site is great and it really helped my daughter a lot. I will e-mail the decisions we maid once we’ve decided.

Thanks and Love

C(...)

(from Canada)
 


 
From:    w...@aol.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: Your denial harms others
Date:    Tuesday, April 6, 2004

from your website:

"There is no known study which showed a correlation between spanking fetishism and spankings received in childhood. For all we know, there are spankophiles who were, and spankophiles who weren't spanked as a child."

Murray Straus has published material in his book, "Beating the Devil Out of Them," that shows a scientific correlation between being spanked and having spanking fetishes. I guarantee you that anyone who wants to spank or be spanked during sex, was spanked as a child. And for your statement that spanking fetishes have increased at a time when spanking is declining, that is not accurate. Spanking of toddlers is still used by the majority of parents (unfortunately) and most people have that trauma imprinted on their developing sexuality.

If you site is not to promote spanking, but to prevent what you call "abusive spanking" then why do you publish e-mails like the one from the guy who goes into great detail about how to cane children? He tells which size cane to use, how to position the child, and the best way to strike, and to bring about reddening. This is so sick to read, it is worse than a KKK site. If you are truely, as you say, devoted to ending abuse, then why even publish something so sick, that advocates harming a child's body in such a profound way?

May I ask, are you a man or a woman? If you are a man, have you ever spanked a female child? When you did, did you get an erection? Did you fantasize about it after the spanking, as you masturabated to orgasm?

I am certain that your sexality revolves around spanking and spanking fantasies. I just hope to God that you do not have children of your own. If so, the poor things will need psychological help.

I hope and pray that the US follows the lead of the European nations that have already made it illegal to spank. Adults like you and the other spanking advocates who publish on your website, are wounded children who want to wound other children. It is sad.

S.N.

Erie, PA
 


 
From:    m...@hotmail.com
To:      spankwithlove@hotmail.com
Subject: (none)
Date:    Monday, April 5, 2004

hi, i havent emailed you in a while but i just wanted your advice on something, heres the story, the other day i was with my sister in law, now mind you that im 15 right now, and she told me to go do something and i didnt cause i was doing something else, well we were at a store and she asked me why i hadnt and i told her cause i was doing something else, well she grabbed me by the arm , took me to the girls restroom pulled down my pants and underwear in the one of the stalls and gave me swats for about five minutes, my butt was red i was crying in the middle of a stall in the mall and it was so embarrasing, now i dont think this was right, when i got home i got mad at her and again i got another spanking in my room, but that was in my room, not in a public restroom where i was crying my eyes out, now i think that that was out of line and stupid, what do you think, i think that she needs to stop that, and i dont know if i want to get spanked anymore, these days she carries a brush in her purse just to spank me with, whereever we go, i think that is dumb, anyway, tell me what you think please,

(in another mail dated April 7, 2004:)

i emailed you a little bit ago and i just wanted to reply to something i read today, it was someone that said that its not good to spank a girl when she is on her period, but i have a opinion, if its a girl, why cant that girls mother spank her, i mean, its not like her mother hasnt gone through the exact same thing, if she isnt still having her period too, well just a thought, tell me if im right or wrong,
 


 



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Last update: Jun-30-2004