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| From: t...@telus.net
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: (none) Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2002
Dear readers,
You should know that spanking your child could impact their
sexuality as adults. Children love their parents, and the act
of punishing them is still a moment of closeness for the child.
You are imprinting a dominant/submissive relationship in their
minds and connecting that with a private, sexual part of their
anatomies. We know know that the blueprint for adult sexuality
is formed during childhood. Many children who are spanked even
mildly and infrequently later require a similar kind of power
exchnge for their sexual fulfillment. Some repress this because
they are told it is wrong, and the only way it can be expressed
is by doingit to their own children. I think parents who spank
unconsciously enjoy it at some level. They make excuses and
look for evidence that it is good for the child. But all
evidence is to the contrary. If you sincerely look for a better
way, you will find it. If something in you still wants to
spank after you have done the research, you need to explore your
own sexuality more thoroughly. It's O.K. if you find you are
dominant or submissive and want to enjoy "kinky" power exchanges
with another consenting adult. Raising your consciousness and
accepting yourself is the only way to protect your kids. Do you
want to pass down feelings that you are bad to your kid? Of
course not! Think back to how you really felt when you were
spanked. It felt terrible. And no, you didn't deserve it. You
told yourself you deserved it because that way you didn't have
to realize that your wonderful Mommy or Daddy was wrong.
Children idolize the adults who care for them. It would be to
stressful to see them as falliable. So they blame themselves.
It's easier to think "I deserved that." That's not alleviating
guilt, it's pushing the guilt to a place so deep it's going
to affect the child's sense of self forever. Stop and think
about it before it's to late. Give your child the dignity you
yourself may have been deprived of. Accept your own sexuality
whatever it is. Please parents, there is another way to deal
with those tough issues. Give the kid some credit! Sit down
and brainstorm about ways to avoid problems! Read books, get
advice, but most of all talk to your kids and explain your
predicament without lecturing. They are just waiting for the
chance to show you the wise, loving soul they have inside.
Sincerely,
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| From: judypgoodmanrn@hotmail.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Over The Lap, Facing Backwards Considerations Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2002
Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.
Dear Spank With Love,
You have created a fascinating, fair and very useful website
resource for everyone involved in the discipline of children.
Yes, I am aware of the danger of confusing the word discipline
with punishment. Discipline is teaching. My goal as a parent
is to inculcate a values system in each of my children so that
they can mature and take their place in society as responsible,
ethical adults.
Sometimes it becomes necessary, to help inculcate self-discipline,
to go from normal positive reinforcement to effective negative
reinforcement. Punishment needs to be carefully selected to
meet the needs of specific individuals. There is absolutely
no way to decide, by long distance, what is best, or even
appropriate.
Just as the fine concept "discipline" has been co-opted and
corrupted by the ignorant who think it synonymous with punishment,
the useful punishment "spanking" has gotten a bad reputation
because fools use the term loosely to cover acts ranging from
careless smacks to the face and hands to outright abusive
beatings. For this reason it is vital that a Spank With Love
movement exists.
The non-parent experts can rant all they want about finding
alternative punishments less "violent" than spanking, to be
PC. Have they asked the children involved? Have they actually
tried such things as reduced privileges, Time Out, and that
all-time favorite nebulous concept, Grounding? Let's take a
look at Time Out. When first discussed in professional
educational journals, this was a system resulting from
research at the School of Education, Department of School
Psychology, at Temple University. Nearly all the graduate
students doing the research were directed by Irwin A. Hyman,
Ed.D.
Twenty-some years later, in his book "Reading Writing and the
Hickory Stick" (1990 p138...) Hyman writes: "Time-out is a
widely used punishment in schools-and it has been greatly
abused. It has increasingly entered the list of causes of
EIPTSD (Educator Induced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in
young children."
With all the out-of-school activities necessary for a teenager
planning a good college education, is it practical to set up
a computer program to keep track of when the child is allowed
to be away from home on authorized business and when that
child is supposed to be grounded at home?
Is it practical to constantly monitor computer use to be sure
a child grounded from chat groups is actually doing homework
on-line?
The list can go on and on. Often to the person getting punished,
it is the over-all perception of fair justice that is important.
After that, the form of punishment is not so important. No
punishment is fun, or it would hardly be negative reinforcement.
Being PC is of no importance. Therefore to those children
raised with love and occasional spanking, this demonized,
totally controversial, non-PC relic of bygone eras, SPANKING,
is perceived as a routine "cost of business" to a maturing
teenager and older kid.
Where this becomes a parenting art more than science, is
finding a way to make this cost of business adequately steep
that wrong-doing is discouraged, without being so violent as
to cause harm. This is where Spanking With Love is so important.
This is why everyone who even thinks about spanking needs
to visit your website. I think they should also contribute
time, money and share their experience with you. Unfortunately
I do not know where to send you financial contributions.
Next best is to offer my experience.
Currently my own children are: Alexis, 16yo and Ben Junior,
13yo. Living with us while in college and being mentored by me
is Cynthia Davis, 22yo. At various times, all have received
millions of hugs from my husband Ben and myself. Rarely they
have needed to be spanked. When Alexis was about 7 none of
my original methods of distraction and positive role modeling
kept her out of mischief. Shortly after the first time I gave
her covered bottom a couple of smacks while taking her to a
corner, we discovered just how effective a more formal, over
the lap, spanking on panties can be. Ben Jr (BJ) received
the benefit of my increased parenting skills, so I started
spanking him at a younger age, about 6. Unfortunately, by the
time Alexis was 11, those gentle over the lap spankings did
not help her. Nor did any of the popular alternatives.
At that point Cynthia had been living with us her final year
of high school so she could simultaneously take some courses
at the university where she had early admission. She came to
us from her family, long-time friends of ours, well behaved,
with remarkable self-discipline. Cynthia did well under the
structure and close supervision of high school. Unfortunately,
once she was on university campus full-time, with older
students as bad influence and such an open study schedule,
her standards of conduct and self-discipline slid down hill
rapidly. My husband is a professor and dean in the graduate
school where Cynthia was headed. His friend, her faculty
advisor, gave Ben a heads-up that Miss Cynthia was headed
for real trouble.
To avoid a conflict of interest, I stepped in, offering to
be her mentor. When she accepted me in the role, we talked
at great length. Cynthia was wise enough to see all her
years of hard work would be ruined. Shyly, she went to her
undies drawer, and produced one of those plastic paddles
sold by Toys-R-Us as a Fun in the Sun flyback-type game.
Cynthia explained that her late mother had bought it for
her out of frustration, and that it had no hole to attach
the elastic string! Several times her mother had asked Cynthia
to bend over her bed, expose her panties for a few spanks
with the little paddle. So saying, Cynthia calmly walked
to the side of her bed, handed me the paddle, lowered her
jeans and bent over, palms flat on the bedding. She closed
her cute eyes, bit her lower lip and assured me she deserved
to be spanked. By the time I applied maybe 16 spanks, equally
to the base of each buttocks, we both were in tears. We must
have hugged for several minutes. She was just 17 when she
graduated high school, and the first time I spanked her was
late August, before the fall term started. From then until
she turned 20, Cynthia and I spend countless sessions in
her bedroom. Sometimes I would confront her about misbehavior
I noticed. More often Cynthia would confess and accept my
judgment, normally a spanking.
As Cynthia's attitude improved, despite the need for spankings
several times a month, Alexis and BJ were sliding downward.
I took them on a field trip to the nearest Toys-R-Us 40 miles
away from our ranch. There I bought each a new Fun in the
Sun set, explaining the next time either misbehaved, their
paddle would be unwrapped and put to good use. Alexis
discovered the sensation of paddle spanking that evening.
It took BJ nearly a week to test me.
In March of 2001, as Alexis approached 16, she was becoming
a moody, uncooperative self-centered brat. Her plastic paddle
was getting us nowhere. At the same time I noticed the
transformation of her best friend and classmate Amy S. By
Christmas 2000, Amy could not make it through the briefest
service at church without needing to be taken outside by
one of her parents. This is a conservative rural community,
despite the 25,000 people at the university a few miles
away. Amy lives on the next ranch, less than a mile from
us and I know her mother well. Besides, sometimes the
congregation could hear a wail as a parental hand met Amy's
bottom in the hall.
At a committee meeting planning for Easter and Palm Sunday,
I complimented Mrs. S on the improvement in Amy. She told me
she had recently joined a parent effectiveness organization
in our town started by a former teacher from Texas who was
now a Ph.D. marketing consultant married to a sports medicine
physician and professor. One of the tools provided by that
group was a wood paddle with one side covered by a neoprene
pad. That had become such a high cost of business Amy cleaned
up her act after just a few sessions. I asked about auditing
a meeting, and was subsequently invited to a Tupperware-style
party/sales pitch surrounding a worth-while parenting class.
At home after Palm Sunday services I introduced all of the
children to this new paddle, each in their own room. All had
committed serious rules infractions within the last couple
of days, so they knew they deserved punishment. Those were
the last covered spankings applied in our family. Once each
had stopped crying, I gathered them at the dining table, along
with Ben. We made it clear we were united and committed to
their welfare. Since all future spanking would be bare
bottom, the better to ensure all spanks land on target and
that none are too harsh, as parents we decided Ben would spank
our son BJ, while I would punish the girls.
Cynthia was good as gold until the Fourth of July. After
Alexis' first bare bottom spanking, she managed to stay out
of trouble nearly a month, reducing her spankings from more
than weekly. A vast improvement! BJ actually bonded better
with his father and shows me renewed respect, only needing
a spanking every few weeks.
Peace does not last, unfortunately. Following the horror of
September 11, Alexis fell into one of her old gloomy moods.
Shortly before Thanksgiving she began to act-out in really
childish ways, much like the way Amy had misbehaved the previous
year. I turned to the parenting effectiveness group for
help. Our leader/consultant mentioned "If she acts like
a child, use children's punishment." Searching on-line
through various parenting groups, I eventually found your
site shortly after New Years. Based on the recommendation
of my parenting class, I was thinking of trying over the
lap again. Coincidentally, New Years Day the only mass market
store open was a Sav-On which I rarely visit, with a
display of sturdy wood hairbrushes. Honestly, I bought one
because it seemed good for my hair.
The only drawback for me to traditional over the lap is
that Alexis is almost my height. Mothers I know warned that
I would not find this working as well as when the kids
were little. Someone suggested a modified version, with
the child supported on the bed facing away from me on my
left side, with the bottom over the outer aspect of my left
thigh. By twisting just a little, I would have a good angle
to spank and could visualize the bottom very well. That
suggestion seemed to have merit. Then I got to the "Spanking
Positions" chapter on your site. Right there, at the end of
page one is Over The Lap, Facing Backwards. You describe
it was I had learned it, but you do not recommend this
position. In your opinion, "It is not as comfortable as
normal 'over the lap' position, and it recuses verbal
communication during the spanking because the child's head
is positioned behind the parent's back."
Thank you. In fact, my voice is often called a fog horn
and I can verbally communicate across fields without a cell
phone, so I don't think recusing communication will be a
problem. Besides which, I rarely scold or lecture after I
start active spanking. I want to concentrate on the target,
and I want the child to focus on the moment, doubting they
hear much anyway.
To test the comfort theory, in a parenting class conducted
that the large home of our leader, we paired up, so mothers
of equal build and height were working as a team. All of us
were dressed as we would at the gym. Using a bed, a couch
and several different kinds of pillows, we workshopped over
the lap and over the lap, facing backwards. Our conclusion:
After some adjustment, it actually is far more comfortable
for both disciplinarian and naughty person, at least until
the spanking starts. The improved angle and visualization
were most effective. Even the mothers with natural soft
voices, rare in our community, could bring on a command
voice that got around the recusal issue. It was tempting
to try more than reaching and patting the proffered
targets, but that would have been kinky and wrong. Playing
the role of child, I found my left arm was blocked by the
"parent's" body, and my right was easily controlled by the
parent's left hand. Even with my face in a pillow I could
not escape hearing the discussion from behind me.
That was then. Subsequently I have administered two spankings
using full-on over the lap, facing backwards (OTLFB). In
addition, because Alexis had learned of my plans prematurely
and had become curious, I provided her with a 4 spank
"Taste Test" hoping to prove to her she would not want
this kind of spanking.
Sure enough, because of the childish connotation, I do not
need to use nearly as much force with OTLFB, so the redness
fades very quickly, but the residual memory lingers.
Dear, Sweet, Caring Spank With Love moderator and experts.
Please rethink your recommendations. I suggest that in many
cases, OTLFB is more appropriate than OTL.
Of course, I also note you do prefer the hand as the spanking
implement. I beg to disagree, with respect. Just as grounding
is not practical, neither is spanking with the hand. For
example, although we live on and operate a working ranch, I
earn my living as an ER trauma nurse supervisor, who is
constantly on-call. I cannot risk even temporary injury to
my hand due to contact with sturdy athletic teenage buttocks.
My husband teaches veterinary surgery, so he must retain his
delicate touch.
Fortunately although you do not recommend either the paddle
or hairbrush, you do not strongly discourage them, as you
rightly do the belt, strap and tawse.
You are correct, the hairbrush has bad potential, but if the
back is flat, as is the Hair Doc model 849 I own, it is
functionally a small paddle, light in weight. Like all aspects
of discipline, punishment must be done with love and only
after practice and a lot of thought.
It might sound weird, kinky and even silly. In class we even
considered the proposal that each of us experience a brief
spanking to see what it is like for our children. In my
case I was only spanked three times, the last being when
I was 10, so it had been 26 years previously the first
time I spanked Alexis when she was 7. Fortunately for the
sake of my backside, the consensus was that sort of
full-contact workshop was not appropriate, nor would it be
circumspect. If publicized it would be embarrassing and
counter-productive.
I apologize for the length of this important message. I
hope you do give some of my suggestions consideration. I
thank you for your attention and for the outstanding service
you provide with your website.
Should Spank With Love have a way of receiving financial
support from fans and visitors who benefit, please be sure
to contact me. My check book is open and ready!
With deep gratitude, cordially, Judy P. Goodman, RN
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| From: adam_scarborough@hotmail.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: spanking Date: Mon, 21 Jan 2002
Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.
hi
i am 14 and i wish to be spanked by my parents but i lack
the courage to talk to them about it i dont know what to do
right now there is hardly any disipline at home and it leaves
me feeling giulty. i was spanked as a child but when i started
secondary school this stopped and its like i do something and
they dont care but you can see they do and it leaves me really
giulty and it seems like i am not forgiven and have not paid
for what i have done can anyone give me any advice?
this is kinda a long shot here but does anyone live in
cheltenham england e.g. cheltenham bishops cleeve or prestbury
and either your parents spank you or you are a parent who
spanks who wouldn't mind spannking me aswell?
or maybe someone can e-mail them for me stating my point of
view?
thanks
adam scarborough
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| From: l...@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: (no subject) Date: Sat, 19 Jan 2002
hi
I am a mommy of five wonderful children. I have a girl who
is 9, a boy who is 5, twin girls who are 3, and a girl who
is 11 months old. First, I would like to say that I really
enjoyed reading your website. My hubby and I started spanking
our children around the age of 2 1/2 and we still spank
our nine year old daughter. I always use either my hand or
the paddle. I have only had to use the belt once and it
was to my oldest daughter. She told me to f*ck off. We always
spank our children in the privacy of their own bedrooms and
their pants are always taken off. We either make them stand
in front of us, lay over our lap, or lay down on their bed.
We don't always use spanking though. Sometimes we make our
daughter go to her room, or the five and three year olds to
go in time-out. We never spank before we give them a warning.
All our kids are very respectful and well behaved most of
the time. Am I disciplining my children right, please respond.
I accept all opinions. Thank you!
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| From: c...@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Spankings... Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2002
I have to say that your site on how to spank is wonderful. There is a lot of
useful information provided here for those parents who believe in using
spankings as a form of punishment.
There is a lot of debate out there today on this subject though. We believe
it is up to each parent to decide in what manner they will discipline their
children. Children need to be disciplined though and not just allowed to do
what they want.
At our house a good spanking is given when they do not behave. We expect our
house rules and our rules pertaining to school to be followed. We choose to
spank over grounding because, though the spankings do hurt, the punishment
is given and then over with much sooner.
We use set rules when we spank. This way the child who is about to get a
spanking
knows what is going to happen. Some may not agree but we have the child
pull down his or her own pants and underwear and they have to go past the
knees out of their reach. Some people will ask about the child's privacy
especially if the child is like 10 or so. We honor their privacy by giving
them a towel that is just long enough in length and width to cover their
front and has an elastic band only on the back to hold it up. We like the
pants down below the knees out of their reach so that they can't reach back
and try to pull them back up when they are getting spanked, and also so that
the pants and underwear don't come slidding back over their bottom when the
child squirms and kicks from the sting of the spanking.
We believe that in order to be effective, the spanking needs to be an
unpleasent experience for the child. More simply put, the spanking needs to
bring a certain degree of discomfort to the childs bottom. We like to give
spankings with the child across the lap. This puts their bare bottom in prime
position. The child is then asked to tell us why he or she is about to
receive a spanking and if they have anything to say. Then the spanking is
given. We deliver between 2x to 4x their age in smacks.
The smacks are given hard and at an alternating pace. We believe in a good
spanking.
Our 10 year old thinks right now though, that if she wines and starts crying
already when she is told to lay her bared bottom over her mom or dad's lap, we
won't give her the spanking that she has coming to her. She says she doesn't
want a spanking because it really stings and hurts. Well, we just tell her
that's too bad and that she should have behaved then, and that she knows what
the consequence is for being naughty. We spank the older ones harder then the
younger ones and where a 6 year old would get 2x their age for something, the
10 year old would receive 3x their age for the same thing to make sure it
hurts. We offer no outs from being punished.
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| From: t...@webtv.net
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: teenage spanking advice Date: Wed, 16 Jan 2002
I couldn't help but write after reading about spanking teens only if
they are cooperative. It reminds me of my childhood. My (single) mom
used to whip me (a boy) hard until I was 9. She stopped because it did no
good. At age 14 I was a troublemaker with terrible grades and heading
for worse problems. My mom sat me down one day to talk about what she
could do. Among many things I told her I would get worse because I was
trying to get back at her for beating me so hard. We talked a long time
about many things and finally agreed on an agreeable discipline plan. At
my request there would be no more grounding or other restrictions but
the punishment would always be a mild spanking. She got to choose when
it should be done even if it meant 5 times a day. I just needed
reminders I was bad and that does not require a beating. I did not
become an angel but I did get better. This went on until I graduated
high school.
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| From: b...@yahoo.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: (none) Date: Mon, 14 Jan 2002
I HAVE JUST FINISHED READING MOST OF YOUR WEBSITE
AND I WAS SPEECHLESS. I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS ACTUALLY BEING WRITTEN AND REAL PEOPLE ARE
SAYING THESE THINGS. IT JUST, IS BEYOND
ME. I CANNOT BELIEVE THERE IS PEOPLE OUT THERE
CONDONING, AND WRITING STORIES AND
TECHNIQUES ABOUT HITTING A CHILD! HITTING A CHILD.
THAT SHOULD BY NO MEANS BE TOLERATED
IN ANY WAY. CHILDREN ARE INNOCENT BEINGS WAITING TO BE
TAUGHT THE WAYS OF THE WORLD. IF A
MOTHER IS ALLOWED TO SPANK HER CHILD, WHICH IS
OBVIOUSLY HITTING, HOW CAN SHE POSSIBLY
COME BACK AND TELL THAT SAME CHILD NOT TO HIT OTHER
KIDS. AT WHAT AGE DO YOU TELL A CHILD
"YES HONEY, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO HIT OR SPANK OTHER
KIDS NOW" OR "NO MOMMY CAN HIT BUT
YOU CAN'T." WHAT IS THAT?! DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO
ANYONE?? ALSO, IF YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL,
AND YOU ARE HAVING YOUR CLOTHES RIPPED OFF AGAINST
YOUR WILL AND A PART OF YOUR BODY IN
WHICH IS CONSIDERED "PRIVATE" IS FULLY EXPOSED AND
VULNERABLE, HOW CAN A CHILD RECOVER
FROM THAT. IT IS A COMPLETE VIOLATION OF PRIVACY, I
DON'T CARE HOW OLD A CHILD IS, RIPPING
THEIR CLOTHES OFF WHILE THEY BEG YOU NOT TO IS
INHUMANE, DISCUSTING, AND WRONG IN EVERY
WAY. ARE YOU TO TELL ME THAT PARENTS ARE SO
UNCREATIVE, AND LAZY THAT THEY CANNOT THINK
OF OTHER WAYS OF CONTROLLING THERE CHILD THEN HITTING
THEM. SPANKING A CHILD IS A
COMPLETE LOSS OF CONTROL, NO ONE IN CONTROL AND
THINKING CONSCIENCLY WOULD THINK IT WAS
OK TO BRING PHYSICAL PAIN TO A CHILD WHEN THEY HAVE
DONE SOMETHING THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED
TO. KIDS WILL BE KIDS, AND IT IS YOUR JOB AS A PARENT
TO TEACH THEM THE WAYS OF THE WORLD,
AND BY HITTING THEM, YOU ARE TEACHING THEM THAT IN
THIS WORLD, VIOLANCE IS ACCEPTABLE,
AND IF A PERSON HAS DONE SOMETHING WRONG WHETHER THEY
ARE REMORSEFUL OR NOT, THEY MUST
FEEL PHYSICAL PAIN IN ORDER TO LEARN FROM IT. THAT IS
NOT THE CASE AT ALL. AND ALL THIS
BUSINESS ABOUT DIFFERENT OBJECTS USED TO HIT A CHILD,
IN ORDER TO CAUSE THE MOST POSSIBLE
PAIN. THINK ABOUT THIS; YOU ARE DECIDING WHAT EVERYDAY
OBJECT TO HIT YOUR KID WITH IN
ORDER TO MAKE THEM THE MOST MISERABLE, PUT THEM THREW
THE MOST PAIN, AND WATCH THEM
CRY THE HARDEST. IT IS SICK. I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER
WANT MY CHILD TO BE AFRAID OF ME, FOR
FEAR THAT I WILL PHYSICALLY HARM HER. FEARING
CONCIQUENCES IS ONE THING, FEARING AN ADULT
BECAUSE THEY WILL HURT YOU, NO CHILD DESERVES THAT. IF
YOUR CHILD DOES NOT LISTEN TO WHAT
YOU SAY WHEN YOU YELL OR PUT THEM IN TIMEOUT OR ANY
OTHER MEANS OF DISCIPLINE OTHER
THAN HITTING, THAT SHOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE
CARRYING OUT THESE ACTS OF DISCIPLINE FAR
TOO OFTEN. A CHILD WHO RARELY GETS YELLED AT, WHO IS
SCREAMED AT BECUASE THEY RAN ACROSS
THE STREET WILL BE EXTREMELY UPSET AND EMBARASSED. IF
YOU SCREAM AT A CHILD DAILY ABOUT
EVERYTHING, THEN OBVIOUSLY THEY WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU
WHEN YOU YELL, AND ITS YOUR OWN
DAMN FAULT. THAT JUST MEANS YOU HAVE TO BE MORE
CREATIVE, NOT HIT THEM!!!! AND THIS
BUSINESS OF HITTING A TEENAGER...RIGHT AS A TEENAGER
IS GETTING MORE AND MORE EMBARASSED
ABOUT HER/HIS BODY, IT IS CHANGING, AND DEVELOPING,
THEY ARE NOT SURE IF ITS ALL NORMAL AND
HORMONES BEGIN TO KICK IN, YOU TEAR THEIR CLOTHES OFF
AND HUMILIATE/REDICULE/EMBARASS
THEM. THAT IS A SURE WAY OF LOWERING YOUR TEENS SELF
ESTEEM AND RESPECT. I WOULD HAVE NO
RESPECT WHAT SO EVER TOWARDS A MOTHER WHO HAD TO
RESORT TO HITTING HER TEENAGER
BECAUSE SHE DID NOT HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE TO TEACH HER
RIGHT FROM WRONG WHEN SHE WAS A
CHILD. IT IS ABSOLUTELY REDICULOUS. I WOULD LOVE TO
HEAR FROM SOME OF THESE MOTHERS WHO
ARE ACTUALLY UNDER THE ILLUSION THAT HITTING A CHILD
WITH NOT ONLY A HAND, BUT WITH AN
OBJECT IS OK. WHOMEVER THESE PARENTS ARE, THEY ARE
PRETTY PATHETIC PARENTS INDEED, AND I
HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEM. I DO NOT THINK THEY SHOULD
BE ALLOWED TO HAVE CHILDREN
BECUASE THESE CHILDREN ARE GROWING UP IN A CORRUPT AND
VIOLENT HOME. THIS WEBSITE
SICKENS ME, AND I DO HOPE TO HEAR FROM WHOMEVER I AM
WRITING TO, BECAUSE MAYBE YOU CAN
ENLIGHTEN ME ON YOUR CULT-LIKE, DISILLUSIONED GROUP OF
ABUSIVE PARENTS.
SADLY YOURS;
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| From: s...@h4.dion.ne.jp
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Hello ! Date: Wed, 09 Jan 2002
Hello. I'm a 27 years old teacher in Japan. I found your site
interesting. I was spanked when I was a child. Usually my father
spanked my bare bottom with his belt. It was painful, but he spanked
me only one or two strokes at a time. I think it wasn't enough.
Eventually I could bear the pain. Still, I was afraid of getting
spanked. So I pretended that I felt extreme pain, and I sometimes
cried. But the truth was that the punishment didn't work well. I
began to think I can do anything if I could bear the pain. Fortunately
I wasn't kind of a "bad girl". So I didn't do "bad things" very
often. But after reading your site, I think I needed more strokes
which was "unbearable".
I think physical punishment must be given at home from the parents
not at school. Each child is different from others. And teachers
don't know well enough about each student. If a teacher must spank a
student, the teacher and the parents had better discuss the matter well.
I'd like to thank you for this interesting site. It made me
consider about punishment at school and home. I'll visit this site
time to time.
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| From: frizzy928@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: please help with a problem at home Date: Wed, 2 Jan 2002
Note: this letter is not anonymized on special request.
hello. i found out about your website through a friend. i have a problem in
my home, and i was hoping you could help me.
i have recently married my
second husband, John. he is wonderful to me, and to my 12 year old daughter,
Christy. he has 2 children, one is 8 and the other is 14. they have never
been anything but respectful to me and Christy. Christy is not at all
respectful to any of them, i think she doesnt want them to replace her
father.
John and i are both christians. i have never spanked Christy, because
i have arthrites, and my spankings on her would only hurt me, not her,
however, John often spanks his 2 children. i am afraid it is too late to
spank Christy now, that she is already 12, and it would have no affect. John
has however often wanted to spank her, when she is disrspectful. i told him
not to, but yesterday she came home at 1:30 am, after being grounded. when
john started yelling at her, she kicked him in his shin. now, i am beginning
to consider letting john spank her.
do u think that John should spank
her as he does his other 2 children? they seem wonderful, and a spanking that
they recieve might hopefully help christy to become more like them. please
help. i am out of ideas!
I hope to hear from you soon!,
Mary
P.S. if you can, please post my letter on your site, so that other people can
post their opinions
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