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| From: c...@wmconnect.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: (no subject) Date: Fri, 31 Oct 2003
I am 34 years old. I was adopted and my adopted parents
spanked me. alot of the times I got spanked with there
hand or a paddle and most of the time they turned me over
there knee and pulled my long pants and panies down and I
got spanked on my bare butt. They spanked me maybe 2 times
with my pants up. It wa s always with my long pants and
panies down turned over there knee and most of the time I
got 10 to 20 spanks on my bare butt. And they were hard
spanks on my bare butt. by the time they was done my bare
butt was on fire. I got spanked up intill I was 13 years
old maybe a little older. I never was spanked with a belt
but there was times I needed spanked on my bare butt over
there knee with the belt. I was a strong willed chid so I
deserved to be spanked on my bare butt. I have found my
biolodgical parents and my biolodgical Mom spanked my
sister once. My biolodgical Dad raised my biological sister
and brother and my biolodgical Dad and I was talking one
time when I was home in Arkansas and I told him how strong
willed I was as a child and how I got spanked alot. And my
bioldgical Dad said I would have gotten turned over his
knee and my pants would have been pulled down and I would
have been spanked with the his paddle or he would have
unbuckled his belt and taken it off and turned me over his
knee and my long pants and panties would have been pulled
down and my bare butt would have been spanked 10 to 20 times
to. I don't have kids but when I do I will spank my kids
when they misbehave and every time they misbehave with a
belt, paddle or a stick. I believe in spanking your kids.
And I am a christian and I know the Lord as my personal
savior and I believe in the Bible and I believe the Bible
when it says to spare the rode and spoil the child. That
means spank your kids when they misbehave. And I think the
schools should be able to spank kids to when they misbehave.
I think the schools would be better if they could spank kids
in school now days when they misbehave. Spanking your kids
is a good thing when you do it with love and you should
make sure they know why they are getting spanked. And spank
your kids with love. They will learn to respect you when
they get older. I think kids should be spank for bad grades
and any other time they misbehave. Don't beat them but spank
your kids when they misbehave. If we all spank our kids or
got spanked when we was kids the world would be a better
place today. If kids got spanked with there long pants and
panties down with a belt ,paddle or a stick the world
would be a better place The kids these days need to be
spanked . Thanks
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| From: g...@socialist.zzn.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Flyswatter Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2003
Hi,
Have you ever thought of putting up the flyswatter on your
implements list. It's commonly used in my area.
Thanks,
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| From: m...@sbcglobal.net
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: help Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003
hi I'm 13 and I feel I need a good swat on the butt,
my parents feel that there is no need for this. I have no
friends to do It (well at least non loyal enough any way).
and I really have done alot of bad stuff. and if I ask my
parents to they will think I'm crazy!!! any advice?
Please Post!
(...)
please someone answer fast I'm going out of my mind here
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| From: f...@yahoo.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: (none) Date: Sat, 25 Oct 2003
dear sir,
im a 11 year old girl my parent spanked me when i was
younger but they dont anymore,and when they did it did not
hurt it was on fully clothed bottom. but i now have a
uncontrollable mouth and attitude i want them to spank me
again and this time whenever i do some thing bad and on
a bare bottom please e mail me back on how to ask them to start
p.s great web site
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| From: g...@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: spanking Date: Sat, 25 Oct 2003
I am 13 years old and my parents spank me. I resented it
when i was younger because i didn't understand why they
would hit me if they said they loved me. After many years
of not doing anything wrong and not being punished, i
started to get out of hand again. I wasn't doing things
that were all that bad... yet. but i knew that i might be
getting worse and i didn't want to be yelled at or grounded
when it did. that's when i talked to my parents about spanking.
First i did some research and found your site. It helped me
a lot. Then i talked to my parents.
The first thing i told them was that i'm not crazy. I told
then that i don't need a counselor and not to worry about
me. I wasn't happy with their method of punishment (my
brother had gotten into lots of screaming fights with my
mom and had ended up getting arrested) and that i thought
something different would work better for me. I told them
about your website and how i thought spanking would work
better now because i understood why they did it. I told
them to look at spank with love and talk about it. They
did and came back to me saying that we would try it. We
talked about how and when it would happen.
Now whenever i do anything wrong i have the choice between
a certain amount of time of being grounded or a spanking.
I almost always choose the spanking. I go to my room to get
ready and then my mom comes in. She sits on my bed and i
pull down my pants (we decided to do it on my underwear,
always). She puts me across her lap and spanks me with her
hand. I get about 40-50 spanks. We agreed that that was a
good number. If i do something really bad she spanks me
about 30 times with her hand and 20 times with a hairbrush.
We didn't have a good one so we went together to get a good
"spanking brush." after we're done she hugs me and then
leaves me in my room to compose myself. When i'm ready i go
downstairs and apologize. We cuddle and tell each other
"i love you."
This works really well for all of us. When we were talking
about how to do it we addressed: position, number of spanks,
on what, and impliment. They wanted to do it with the hand
on bare bottom but i came up with the idea of hairbrush on
panties. Sometimes i just get the hairbrush about 25 times
because it hurts my mom's hand to spank. we agreed on a 6-month
trial period. If my behavior seemed to be improving over six
months then we would continue. We were both comfortable and i
was getting better so i've been spanked ever since. We love
each other and understand what i've done wrong, why i was
punished, and that we all love each other. Spanking works
really well in my house and nobody is abused. (ps. please do
not put my e-mail online).
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| From: j...@yahoo.ca
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: spanking Date: Wed, 22 Oct 2003
Hello. I have a rather strange request. I'm ten years old
and I found your website while doing a science project on
expansion. I typed in expansion and your site came up for
some reason. But then I started reading your website and
thought you might be able to help me.
Me and my mother live alone. My dad left a few years ago and
haven't heard from him since. Ever since my dad left my mom
began spanking me. If I get in trouble during the day I get
it over her knee. If it's before bed I get it with my legs up.
So here's my problem. My mom spanks me with my pants pulled
down. But she leaves my underwear up. Right now I wear briefs.
And my friends make fun of me in school. I've asked my mom if
I could change to boxers because of this. She says no. And the
reason is because she doesn't want to spank me with boxers on.
Does this make sense? If you could give me some ideas it'd
really help.
Thanks.
(from Canada)
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| From: t...@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Teenage view on spanking Date: Wed, 22 Oct 2003
My name is A(...) and I have to
take issue with your advice on spanking positions. You reccomend
the over-the-knee position most. I am 14 years old. I believe in
spanking, but when my mom or dad puts me over their lap, I feel
too childish. I would prefer to kneel over a desk during my s
panking -- it feels less like I am a child.
I told my parents this, and recorded it in our spanking diary.
I'm glad they honored my wishes. The next time I misbehaved, they
told me that I can chose any position I wanted. They even sent
me to my room and told me that I had as much time as I wanted
to figure out what position and where I wanted to be spanked.
I chose a desk. I took off my jeans and undies and called down
to my parents to inform them I was ready. Now, I feel respected
and mature that I can be spanked with dignity.
A(...)
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| From: t...@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: (no subject) Date: Wed, 22 Oct 2003
Your website admonishes to spank in private, away from
the prying eyes of others. Yet I encountered a challenge
in that we live in a small house, and the sounds of spanking
could be heard by others. I'm wondering if any of your
readers encounter this problem, as well.
Although I do not have to often discipline my 12 and 14-year
olds (normally once every month), the sound of slapping the
buttocks could be heard throughout the house, and I do not
wish to embarass my daughters.
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| From: f...@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: parents Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2003
Im currently 13 my parents stopped spanking me when i was 10.
When I asked them to start again they grounded me for 3 weeks
can you help me convince them.
(in another mail, dated October 24, 2003)
Hello SWD,
No need to write me back. As I said before im 13 and my parents
stopped spanking me when i was about 10. I was reading you site
on the page off topic:how to get your parents to spank you. I
read some of the stories about how some kids got their parents
to spank them well i did wut one person did which is to get a
sibiling to do it i have two siblings my sister, 17 a sophmore
and high school and a brother 22 who is in college i asked my
sister about it she said yes she would. We made a list of things
that i would be spanked for mainly cursing which i have a major
problem with and other things i have been spanked twice by her
the fist time 40 slaps with her hand the second time 20 slaps
with a hairbrush. the first time i was in the bed position with
a jock strap on but the second time she made the point that we
were faimly so i was bare. I notice my cursing has reduced a
little bit. Thank you for your great site. please do not post my
email adress on your site, thanks.
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| From: b...@ntcnet.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: asking over the age of consent Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003
Dear friends
is it completely inappropriate to show this website to my dad,
even though i am over the age of consent. i was spanked growing
up, and i assure you, it kept me focused and behaved. Now that
i am out of the house for a while, I am slipping into some VERY
bad habits, and think there are times when a real spanking would
do me a world of good. Would love any advice here. I feel that
just because you reach a certain age, should not matter. what
works, works.....and spanking has always worked for me. It was
done with love and concern, but it was done soundly and very
thorough. Dad always spanked bare fanny and over the knee, until
tears flowed and legs were pumping pretty hard. You never slacked
of after a good spanking. Now that i am a young adult, i still
feel it would benefit. So, what do you think, Should I show the
"how do I get my parents to spank me" page or not. I will feel
better if i could get some feedback. Thanks
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| From: j...@mail.uri.edu
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: (none) Date: Sat, 18 Oct 2003
As a child growing up, I was spanked for both minor and serious
infractions. Spanking were always given by a male authority figure
for purposes of modesty.
Until 11 or 12 spankings usually were administered by hand to my
buttocks, usually 10 to 12 swats. Once into my teen years spankings
were usually given on my bare buttocks using a paddle or belt, and
most of the time i was bent over a chair or laying on the bed with
a pillow to support my middle area. I generally got spanked about
once every month or two through high school.
On occassion when my Dad was the male giving the spanking, he would
take me across his lap and give me a paddling. I remeber one night
he caught me smoking, I had turned just turned 18 about a month
before. He told me that I was going to be spanked for smoking in
his house. I didn't resist, and even though I was 18 I knew that
a spanking was called for. I went to my room where I changed into
a plaid bottun down flannel shirt and blue jeans. He always wanted
me to be comfortable during the spanking, so that was the reason
for the flannel shirt.
I went into his study where he had the chair positioned in the middle
of the room. Without being told I assumed position, pulling my pants
to my knees and allowing him to put me over his lap. I always had my
shirt on, and he allowed me to cover my genitals with the flannel
shirt for purposes of modesty. I remember the spanking hurt very
much, but it was a good lesson and I'm glad he gave me that spanking.
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| From: m...@amserve.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: teenage spanking Date: 15 Oct 2003
my parents had stopped spanking me by the age of twelve. for a few years i was
well behaved, and i left school with good g.c.e. passes however once i started
going to work my attitude changed.
i began to stay out late, and i started to drink under age. eventually my parents
pulled me up about the situation. my mother was upset as she could see me ending
up in court. mum and dad spent all day talking to me about my behaviour.
i began to feel bad about it all, and appologised to them. i promised to change
my ways. mum said that she was glad that i was seeing sense. i asked if they were
going to punish me. there was a discussion about this,
and it was decided that they would both give me a spanking.
i was told to go to my room and strip off, then wait until dad came up to me. he
came upstairs after half an hour. he told me to bend over the back of a
chair, and hit me eight times with a leather strap. by the end of this spanking i
was crying. i was seventeen years of age. mum came into the room. she asked if i
was learning my lesson. i said that i was, then mum gave me another eight with
the strap. i was in pain for a couple of hours after, but the most important
lesson was that i had been taken down a peg.
we discussed the punishment a week later, and mum told me that she wanted to keep
the strap as a punishment for me in future.
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| From: garypj4b@yahoo.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Reader feedback Date: Tue, 14 Oct 2003
(Note: this mail is not anonymized on special request.)
Hello, a friend introduced me to your great site and
I've been reading over it. The reader feedback is of
particular interest to me, to see what others think,
and how they are addressing this often sensitive
topic.
Like the reader whose July 28 and July 30 letters you
printed, I found particularly interesting the letters
from the young man who took the initiative to ask for
a spanking, and subsequently received "maintenance
spankings" from his dad. Though it's clear from your
response to the July reader that you disagree with the
practice, I must say based on my own experience, that
I'm glad to see that parents are still considering
this controversial but potentially effective parenting
tool. It's not for everyone, but as we well know,
there is no "one size fits all" approach to parental
discipline. That's why a site such as yours is so
useful, as a forum to discuss and explore the
possibilities, and find solutions that work for each
family.
Like the gentleman who wrote in, the subject of
discipline was sometimes discussed between my own dad
and his best friend (who had a son about my age, 16 at
the time). There were no Internet sites or discussion
groups. Parents sought advice and support from one
another. At his friend's recommendation, my dad put me
on a program of "maintenance spankings". When he
first mentioned the subject, I thought it was
outrageous--spankings for "nothing"? How is that
possible? Yet, in my heart I knew that he had always
put my best interests first. More importantly, I knew
that these spankings would not be "for nothing". Like
most teens, as my age advanced, I was afforded more
freedom and less direct oversight. That's important to
allow a child (teenager) to grow and learn life skills
which will eventually lead to independence. But it
also offers many opportunities for
misbehavior--sometimes serious misbehavior. I'd be
ashamed to admit the sometimes impetuous, stupid, and
even dangerous things that I did. I wasn't a "bad"
kid, even. I was a typical teenage boy, perhaps
better-behaved than most, due to loving and consistent
discipline, but I still did plenty wrong. My friends,
being even more the typical teenage boys, often led me
astray. And plenty of times I did stupid things on my
own. The fact that I didn't get caught for my misdeeds
didn't make them any less serious or less frequent. By
age 16, I was getting spanked infrequently. My grades
were good, and my dad didn't know what I was up to
when I was outside the house, so it was pretty smooth
sailing. It was easy--especially for my teenage
mind--to forget how unpleasant the consequences of
misbehavior could be. Add to that the impulsive nature
of teenagers, and perhaps you can see that prospect of
spanking became less of a deterrent than it once was.
The maintenance spankings changed all that. There may
have been one or two times that I got one that I
didn't "deserve" in that time period, but given all
the other times that I should have gotten a spanking
and didn't, I have to say that the balance was more
than in my favor. More importantly, it reminded me of
what could and would happen if I got caught. Any
punishments for misdeeds were in addition to the
"maintenance" spankings, certainly not something that
I looked forward to!
The defining moment for me, was when I came within a
hair's breadth of shoplifting. I'd never seriously
considered shoplifting before, but the item in
question was just too tempting. I'd mulled it over and
came SO close to slipping it into my shopping bag. I
didn't think (at the time anyway) of being arrested.
What did stop me, just barely, was knowing what would
happen when I got home, if I'd gotten caught. And I
would have gotten caught. What seemed like the
"perfect crime" at 16, I realize now would have been
disastrous and had long-term repercussions on my
life--effects far worse than a spanking! I get the
sweats just thinking about how close I came. If I
hadn't had the last "maintenance spanking" fresh in my
mind, I surely would have taken a different path.
In addition to that experience, I have to realize in
retrospect that maintenance spankings were good for
maintaining my attitude. I'd started to slip, becoming
sassy and rebellious as teenagers do. There may not
have been a single incident that rose to the level of
"punishable offense", but did that mean that the
larger body of behavior should be tolerated? Certainly
not! My dad made it clear that he respected my right
to assert myself, to learn independence, but I was to
do so respectfully. The maintenance spankings helped
me to remember that.
I know you probably still don't agree with me, and
that's fine. I respect your views and your right to
express them. But I was dismayed to see that the dad
was "ashamed" after reading your response. I believe
that, like my dad, he wants what is best for his son.
Whether this is the right approach for him and his
son, is a decision that only he can make. I hope that
you'll print my letter, so he can see that there are
two sides to this issue. If you're okay with it, I'd
like for you to forward this letter to him (or at the
least print my email address so he can contact me if
he wants). I'd be happy to answer any of his
questions.
I know this is letter is very long already, but I must
also comment on your comparison of parenting to the
judicial system. Your point makes sense on the
surface, but there are more differences than
similarities between parenting and the judicial
system. The most pertinent here, is that parents have
an opportunity and a responsibility to tailor their
approach to a single individual, their child. They may
also be called upon to do things that wouldn't make
sense in a judicial setting, but make perfect sense
for rearing a child.
I agree that the dad shouldn't have broken his
agreement with his son (that sets a very bad example),
but I have a problem with the whole idea of creating
an "agreement" to begin with. The parent is the
responsible party, and they must do what they feel is
appropriate for raising their child. I think it's
great that parents want to involve their children, but
they shouldn't abdicate authority or responsibility in
the process. The child is not in a position to know
what's best for him--that's the parent's job. So I
think that even though he went about it wrong, the dad
did what he felt was appropriate. I also think he did
the right thing in setting his son down and explaining
what would happen.
I apologize for the length of this letter, but I do
hope you'll print it. It's truly form the heart and
from my own experience.
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| From: s...@yahoo.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: "How do I get..." Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003
Hi again! I'm still reading through your site, and had
some comments and suggestions regarding the "How can I
get my parents to spank me?" topic. I think most
teenagers can benefit from spanking, and it offers
very real advantages to both the teen and parent
alike--but I was surprised (and impressed) to see this
issue addressed. I think that those who do ask their
parents to exercise this option, show great maturity.
It takes a deep understanding of what they need to
shape their lives, and a great respect for their
parents that they're presenting an option that may be
beneficial to everyone. The parents may even have
wanted to use spanking, but feared that it wouldn't be
effective or appropriate for a teen. In taking the
lead on this, teens can make the difficult job of
their parents a bit easier, by opening up a
time-proven and effective option.
One reader made an especially good point, that the
spanking should be equivalent or slightly greater in
deterrent value to a grounding or other punishment.
There will always be some who may present this option
to their parents, expecting that spanking won't amount
to much, and they'll get off easier. To that end, I
would suggest what might at first seem like a radical
idea, but one which I feel is well-founded. I think
that when this subject is explored, there should be a
"test run". Whether a punishment is otherwise due or
not, I think it's important--especially if it has been
a year or more since the last spanking was
administered--for the teen to have a good idea of what
to expect. To be truly useful, it would have to be
realistic. I would suggest offering a sample
scenario--one which would merit a strong punishment,
such as wrecking the family car due to careless
driving--and right then and there, administering an
appropriate punishment. The pants come down, the
implements are brought out, the spanking is
administered exactly as it would be had the family car
actually been wrecked--yes even if it means that the
teen won't be able to sit comfortably for a few days!
This would serve to educate the teen about their
decision (some parents may allow the teen to opt-out
at this point, while others may hold them to their
decision). It may also help both parent and teen
adjust psychologically to the new arrangement. If the
teen has grown considerably since their last spanking,
this would also be a good opportunity to explore how
different positions and possibly even different
implements might work best at this time. I'd recommend
having an assortment of implements laid out for this
purpose, and also have on hand a stool and different
sizes/shapes of chairs to try different positioning
options.
If it's done right, I think this could be a very
educational experience for all involved; it could
impress upon the parents that their teen is serious
about their choice; and it very likely would even
bring them closer together!
I must also comment on two points presented by your
readers, about how to deal with multiple infractions.
One suggested that multiple infractions should be
addressed with a single spanking. Another reader
insists that the "demerit" system doesn't work. I
agree that the "demerit" system is flawed (for the
reasons stated), and I'm generally opposed to any "one
punishment for multiple infractions" approach. I think
that each infraction merits its own punishment,
especially when the infractions are serious. In the
case of two or more serious infractions, it's not
possible to administer a single punishment that
sufficiently covers each, without running the risk of
abuse. I think the answer is obvious: administer a
spanking for the most serious infraction right away,
and schedule (as far ahead as necessary) additional
punishments for the remaining infractions. Depending
on the intensity of each spanking, these may be
scheduled on consecutive days, or perhaps spaced
several days apart. Most families have a calendar
hanging in the kitchen, which is ideal for keeping
track of these scheduled spankings. Keep a red
felt-tipped pen handy to jot down a brief note for
each day. That way, the child will also be able to
keep track of what they have coming. If the infraction
is something that's an ongoing issue--such as a bad
attitude toward the parents--I'd suggest even that a
regimen of "maintenance spankings", perhaps once a
week, are in order. Again, the calendar can be very
handy for keeping track of these events.
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| From: s...@yahoo.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Birthday spankings Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003
Hi, I just discovered your site, and I think it's
fantastic! I've never seen such a well-presented,
thorough, and even-tempered site on this subject. I
still have much more to read, but I just came across
the section that covered birthday spankings and wanted
to share my experience. Like many others, I received
"birthday spankings", but mine were a bit different.
My Dad believed that spankings were good for many
purposes: the obvious purpose of punishment and
behavior correction, but also to build character, to
maintain order in the household ("maintenance"
spankings to remind me "who's boss" as he would put
it), and to mark milestones. My birthday spankings
were certainly more ceremonial and playful in tone
than punishments I received, but since they were to
mark an important milestone, Dad felt that it should
be something that I'd feel (and thus remember) more
than the light pats that often given as "birthday
spankings". As the years progressed, and the count
went higher, I more and more often had a pretty sore
bottom on my birthday! But it was done with such
loving intent and lighthearted nature, I couldn't
complain--in fact, I felt proud to mark my special day
in this way. I took it as a kind of rite of passage.
Usually my birthday spankings involved just me, my
Dad, and sometimes a few close family members. They'd
tease and joke with me about the impending spanking,
and it was smiles and laughter all around as I rubbed
my sore bottom afterwards.
The most memorable was on my 13th birthday. Less than
a year prior, my Dad had finally settled a
long-simmering dispute over how I should receive my
spankings. Dad believed that I should have my pants
taken down (as he always had growing up), but my Mom
was against it. Dad finally won, and vowed from that
moment on, that all spankings--big or small--would be
on the bare bottom! It never occurred to me, until my
next birthday came around, that this rule would apply
to "birthday spankings"! Everyone had gathered around
before my official birthday party (which would be
later that afternoon), and I took quite a bit of
good-natured ribbing, more than usual. There was quite
a hubub and speculation that I'd really get it good,
to mark my entry into my teens. Others commented that
it would be a good introduction to what was to come.
As one of my uncles commented, his boys started
needing "maintenance spankings" around that age, and I
probably would too. The adults had cleared a space on
the dining table (I was usually bent over the table
for my birthday spankings), and Dad had set out a
couple of his favorite paddles. Dad cheerfully
announced that it was time for my spanking, then
stepped to my side and told me to pull down my pants
and underwear. I know my face must have turned even
redder than my bottom later would be, and I think time
stopped! Everyone present had seen me get spanked with
my pants down on at least one occasion, some of them
more--so they wouldn't be seeing anything that they
hadn't already--but I was mortified just the same. Dad
gave me a moment to regain my composure, as I was
literally shaking; my usual bravado about birthday
spankings had faltered. Then he put his arm around my
shoulder, and spoke to me softly and lovingly,
reminding me of why were all here. He said that
there's nothing to be embarrassed about, and reminded
me that this is a celebration, a milestone, and
everyone was there to support me and wish me well in
the next year of my life. After a moment, I dropped my
pants and pulled down my briefs--all the way to the
ankles, as usual--and Dad began. Everyone counted off
the years, as they were applied in super-hot paddle
strokes to my bare bottom. My bottom was hot and
stinging pretty good by the time he was done! I
remained bent over for a moment, then stood and pulled
up my pants. Everyone cheered, and rushed over to
congratulate me, and tell me how proud they were of
me. My Dad hugged me and told me "Son, you're going to
make a fine young man." I have to say, it was the best
birthday ever! And I stood through my whole party! :)
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| From: c...@yahoo.co.uk
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: An interesting technicke Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003
Dear SWL!
I am a 22 year old university student studying in a large
European city. I live with a family, the father was my father's
friend, and I am paying the rent. So I'm more than a simple
tenant, I have a good relation to every member of the family
but far from being a family member. I live at this place for
three years.
To the point. This family has two boys, now age 17 and 15.
The spanking technike is quite peculiar: Spanking is done in
the evening, arund 10 'o clock, just before bedtime. The boy
to be spanked goes to have a shower, turns the tap on, after
a half a minuite the father goes in (the lock is broken for a
decade). The boy goes to the other side of the bathtub, leans
slightly against the wall, with the hands touching the wall.
Then the spanking begins, ends shortly, the father comes out,
the child finishes the shower, and when he comes out, he is
hugged, and welcomed back to the family. Once I overheard the
operation, and cautiously touched upon the subject. they said,
that theis way the child is less humiliated, than if he is
over the lap, and more convinient, because the child does not
have to be bared extra.
On the question is modesty, the father said, the child was not
over-modest at all. When he was growing up, they tried to find
a position where he was more covered, but seemed to be
ineffective or inconvinient, so the child said, they can stick
with the old method. By the way, he is rarely spanked, once
inevery two months, or so.
I was puzzled, i must say, but then again, the children really
are not really modest. We go to the same sminning pool, and we
often run into each other at the locker room. They are not
exibitionists, don't get me wrong, but having to bare themselves
before others is not a problem. In the shower, (which is not
even a stall shower, but a square room, with taps on the side)
they are laughting around with their friends, go to the men's
sauna with only a towel, foolnig around the locker room half-naked,
and so on.
Maybee the issue of spanking on the bare or not is only a question
when the children are too modest, and the punishment is not given
by a same-sex parent. or when having to bare oneself is associated
only with sex. But what is your opinion? Is the spanking of
teenagers this way something wrong?
I would not have written, have they not tried to pass a law,
containing that spanking is is outlawed. The parlament voted
against this.
Please post this letter to the rest.
(from former Yugoslavia)
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| From: t...@msn.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Personal Experience Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2003
I am an eleven year old girl. Although I feel no different
than any other eleven year old, I am considered "gifted" because
of my IQ. I’m currently in the sixth grade and I’m also a
sophomore in college. I take night classes and attend summer
school at a university working on my undergraduate medical degree.
It’s a good arrangement because it allows me to be a normal sixth
grader, (hang out with my friends, play sports and such), and
it allows me to get intellectually simulated in college.
My father disciplines us by becoming very serious and talking
to us very directly. He is very muscular and can be intimidating.
He talks, you listen. I knew from a young age that these ‘talking
to’s’ are warnings. You are to listen, straighten up and DO
not talk back. He is never unreasonable during these ‘talking
to’s’ and is just giving us direction. Shortly afterwards he
is back to his old self and everything is forgotten. My sister
and brother didn’t heed these warnings and a couple of times
found themselves at the wrong end of a paddle. I never was
dumb enough to push him to that point. I knew he didn’t want
to paddle me and I knew he would let me off with a warning if
I straiten up.
Well I wasn’t as intelligent as I though. My school grades were
never very good. I should get all A’s but never did. My father
would talk to me about B’s: and told me to get thing done, take
pride in myself and get A’s. I didn’t listen, heck, I was going
to college. My last report card I got a C. My dad was mad and
even raised his voice during the ‘talking to’. I said the
teachers didn’t like me and he never yelled at my siblings for
B’s and C’s. To my surprise he didn’t say another word making
me feel pretty smart. I told him, ha. The next day I saw him
at the school, he was having a conference with my teachers to
finding out why they didn’t like me. I knew I was in trouble.
The ‘talking to’ I was going to get.
When I got home my father was waiting. He told me to go to my
room. I thought he was going to yell at me in private for an
hour. Boy was I wrong. He came in a few minutes later with
the paddle. I looked at the paddle and was mesmerized by it.
I realized that I was soon going to be on the business end of
it. My father sat down on my bed and explained that I was going
to be paddled because I didn’t do my school work, I was extremely
disrespectful to my teachers and mostly, because I fibbed.
Things I was warned not to do. He asked me it I agreed. I
could not argue, I knew I was completely wrong. I asked (begged)
him not to give me my first paddling. He just looked at me and
I knew I was going to be feeling the wood soon. He had me
undress to just my panties. He then had me stand right next to
him by the bed. He asked me softly why I was there. I said,
"To get paddled". He looked at me and said, "You’re smarter than
that". I replied correctly, "To learn a lesson". I could see
in his eyes he didn’t want to paddle me, but as a father had to.
He guided me over his knee. It was quite intimidating when my
feet left the floor. He then softly but very directly removed
my underwear. This baring of my bottom was very important.
My private butt was no longer private. I realized then I’ve
given my bottom to my father for him to spank. I was a little
embarrasses but mostly I was accepting of the fact that I would
soon be paddled and taught a lesson. He then positioned me
correctly and instructed me to keep my arms and hands away from
my butt so they wouldn’t be hit by the paddle. He then set his
muscular left arm across my lower back. Any thoughts of struggle
were now gone. Finally he set the paddle gently across my butt
which gave me a bit of a chuckle. I knew when the paddle returned
it would not be so gentle. I was right. I got 13 of his best.
When it was done I was a little embarrassed because all you could
hear was me cry out load. I don’t know if I ever cried so hard.
He returned my underwear and stood me up. He hugged me and left
the room for me to reflect.
The point of this long winded story is that I learned a great
deal from my encounter with the paddle. But a few thoughts/lessons
stick out. First, I will never be paddled again. I fully
deserved what I got, but will never be dumb enough to push the
rules enough to require another lesson at the end of a paddle.
After reading some feedback on your site I am amazed that anyone
would need more than a spanking or two. Secondly, I never felt
abused, if anything I felt loved during the whole experience.
I know when I have children, I will try to reason with them
intelligently and give them good examples, but I also know I
will have a paddle in the draw when needed.
Regards
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| From: b...@yahoo.co.uk
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: The Cane Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2003
Dear SWL,
Like you, I do not advocate the use of the cane.
However, it was traditional in UK Schools until a few
years ago. Not surprisingly, many parents felt that if
schools could use it, so could Mum and Dad. I don’t
think that many parents cane today, but there are some
that do.
A few years ago, a man in the UK sold canes to needy
parents. (He doesn’t now!) He made a very good point
when he wrote that parents should administer the cane
on the bare bottom. Why? Because if one stroke is
allowed to land on top of another, the result is
excruciating and is certainly not "spanking with
love". It is much better to see where you have already
hit and then decide where the next one is going to
land.
I think that the same goes for other instruments that
concentrate the force in a narrow line rather than
spreading it, as with hand, paddle, etc. Straps are
very difficult to control and can easily wrap
themselves round the body towards the genitals.
(from the UK)
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| From: e...@hotmail.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Issues Date: Wed, 08 Oct 2003
I enjoyed reading your website and I believe that you make
many good points that more parents should consider as they
raise their children. I do have a couple of perspectives
however.
(1) It is not necessary for a spanking to be brutally hard.
Applying a much larger number of swats, with an appropriate
cadence, can cause the appropriate pain and discomfort without
the risk of damage. You allude to that point but then talk
about 10-15 spanks. I believe that 40-50 swats, well spaced
out in terms of timing and location can leave a lasting
impression. I have read many times about a child sent to
the hospital after receiving two or three brutal swats of a
paddle. I have never read about a student going to the
hospital after getting a large number of moderate swats.
Timing causes the discomfort to rise without severe brusing.
The damage is clearly present but the brusing is more contained
with many moderate swats.
(2) A carefully selected spanking implement is better than
the hand because the child will not associate the parents'
hand with punishment. Children shouldn't confuse a pat on
the back with a pat a little lower! When I was growing up,
one of my friends told me that his father had a razor strop.
When his children required discipline, Mr. S(...) told them
that they could go cut their own switch or he would use the
strop. My friend was 18 years old before he realized that
that strop had never been used. The children were so fearful
of it that they always cut a switch. (and occasionally Mr.
S(...) required them to cut
another larger switch if the first one was inadequate.) The
slow walk to the orchard and the long walk back, switch in
hand, had a humiliating addition to the switching. And let
me tell you, the S(...) children
were very well behaved.
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| From: nathanb_brandon@hotmail.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Hello Date: Wed, 08 Oct 2003
(Note: this mail is not anonymized on special request.)
Hello
My name is Nathan and I thought I'd Contribute to your reader’s
feedback page after my dad showed me this site. I'd like to say
that I think your site is great its good to know that there are
other people my age still getting punished the proper way.
Anyways I'm 18 and my brother is 15 my dad has used spanking to
discipline us both as long as I can remember. He uses a bath
brush which has always been the case always on the bare in our
rooms but we wear a jockstrap for modesty. We have to wait in
the corner for a wile as well; our mom is there for moral support
always. I don’t resent my parents for punishing me in this way
I've always just accepted it both my brother and I do well in
school and play on rep sports teams. I love my parents and they
never spank me in anger. I think spanking is a perfectly fine
form of punishment and works very well on teenagers as well as
kids. Anyways that my opinion and I thought I'd share it. You
don’t have to hide my name or address I'd be glad to talk to other
teens that are raised like me, or help anyone wanting to talk to
their parents about the way they are punished.
Sincerely Nathan
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| From: d...@webtv.net
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Your Site! Date: Wed, 8 Oct 2003
Hello,
I am an investigator with Child-Patrol. I read on your "Whats New" area
of your web site "Spank with love", that geocities has deleted your site
many times. There is a good reason why they have done it. There are
certain internet pedophiles that have "fetishes" involving sadomasachist
behavior and corporal punishment of children. The authorities are
cracking down on "Pedophile/Related websites". The content of your web
site lets "people", learn what to punish with and how. It's also not
good (and Illegal), to show pornoraphic images of children, (Including
Buttox Region), even if it's a drawing or comic peice. I'm asking you to
please remove the artwork showing children being spanked, off your site,
please. If you have any questions, please email me, Thank you for your
time, and have a safe day.
Investigator G(...)
ID: (...)
Child-Patrol Investigations Unit
child-patrol@websafety.zzn.com
(Note: the images on this website are of course
not pornographic. If they were, thousands of children's books and
comic books would need to be censored instantaneously because they contain
cartoon drawings of bare bottomed child characters, or child characters
getting spanked. Secondly, needless to say but this website is of course
not "sadomasochist", "fetishist" or "pedophile/related" either. It's a parenting
advice website helping to make legal corporal
punishment safer, more effective and less traumatic by
educating pro-spanking parents. This site is perfectly legal and
fully complies with Geocities Terms of Service.)
(Update: A follow-up mail was received dated
November 26, 2003:)
I am emailing you to apologise for actions said by one of my
Investigators for "Child-Patrol". He was out of line for telling you
those false accusations and has been removed from employment with our
agency.
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| From: h...@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: spanking implements and results Date: Wed, 8 Oct 2003
as a young child, i found certain procedures used by my dad made
the whole event more impressive and added to the fact of getting
a sound spanking something which made one sure he did not want a
repeat performance for the misdeed. mother never laid a hand on
me and said "wait till your father gets home". the waiting period
and knowing my bottom would be on fire soon impressed the fact that
what i did wrong i should not repeat as it was not worth the resulting
pain. after dinner he told me to go upstairs, get the large plastic
hairbrush and wait for him in the bathroom. again the forthcoming
spanking was upmost in my mind. when he entered and shut the door
he sat on the toilet seat and told me to get my pants down and
climb over his knees. i was then instructed to say why was being
spanked. then the brush was applied to my bare bottom long and hard
tears fell and crying could be heard all over the house. when it
ended i was told to go to my room and think about it. as i lay on
my tummy rubbing out the fire i knew i would not do my misdeed
again.
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| From: a...@gosympatico.ca
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: (none) Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003
Hello. I am a 14 year old girl. I have never been spanked, and I don't know
anyone who has been spanked. I am sure that it is not a pleasant experience at
all, but maybe I would be better behaved if I was occasionally given a good,
sound over the lap spanking on my bare butt. Right now I am just punished with
early bedtime and maybe being sent to my room. Also, a lot of times my parents
say I have to go to bed early but then they end up giving me a second chance. I
have read a lot of the feedback you have on your site and I have noticed that
everyone who said they had been spanked has seen a big improvement in their
behavior. I think that if I was threatened with a spanking, and then I actually
did get one, then I would behave better.
Feel free to post this on your site, and you don't have to anonomize my e-mail
address. I would greatly appreciate it if people who read this could send me an
email with any advice or comments they have for me. Also, to the people who run
the site "spankwithlove" if you have any advice or comments of your own for me I
would like it if you sent me an email.
Thanks.
Oh, one more thing. I have a question if anyone cares to answer it. Do you
think that standing in the corner after a spanking is appropriate? If so, for
how long? What will it do for the person who has to stand in the corner? Thanks
again.
(from Canada)
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| From: soozy_queue@hotmail.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Reader's Feedback Date: Fri, 03 Oct 2003
(Note: this mail is not anonymized on special request.)
Dear SWL,
With your permission, some thoughts on why mothers make the best
spankers of naughty boys.
The younger of my two boys is 14, and he still makes a facedown
visit to my lap once every two or three months. I don't spank him
any differently at 14 than I did when he was eight. I sit on his
bed and pull his trousers down while he stands unhappily but obediently
before me. A quick move to the side of my right knee, and he's
down and over my lap with the mattress beneath him.
A boy's underpants are the dividing line between the desperate
retention of his delusions of autonomy and the harsh reality of
his behavioral accountability. Who better to take them down - an
action I perform only with my son positioned so as to maximize the
embarrassment factor in my actually witnessing his bottom's
transition from clothed to naked - than the parent who most likely
taught him all about pulling them up? I'm sorry, but mothers who
decline to emphasize their authority by baring their sons' bottoms
in an indifferent, matter-of-fact fashion are depriving traditional
spanking of one of its most potent features: the profound shame
attached to the methodical, maternal baring of a boy's backside.
I have no idea what planet the parents who insist on stripping
their kids for spankings come from. I have never deviated from
trousers and underpants being taken down just far enough to leave
my boy bare from his waist to his knees. For me, the visual
prominence lent to his upturned derriere by clothing above and
below only intensifies my determination to spank - and to spank
soundly!
The palm of my hand continues to be my favorite spanking implement.
Whatever good they might do, resorting to straps and paddles and
brushes is man's doing. God gave children perfectly smackable
bottoms and parents the laps and the arms and hands to deal with
those bottoms when their owners forget where the authority lies in
the family unit.
A boy of 14 typically imagines from time to time that he's no longer
answerable to anyone for his actions. Having his pants taken down
and his bare bottom spanked across his mother's knee definitely
qualifies as a rude awakening! And invariably, upon tearful
reflection with a stinging, rosy red backside commanding his
attention, a boy whose mother won't tolerate his shenanigans
realizes in his heart that he's far luckier than the boy whose
parents have abdicated their disciplinary responsibility. Those are
the boys whose maturation is chronically one step forward and two
steps back. Not mine!
Thank-you for the invaluable service your wonderful site performs.
Sincerely,
(in a follow-up mail, dated October 22, 2003:)
I think we've lost each other. Typically, the parent most
responsible for training young children in preparation for their
stepping out the door and interacting with others is their mother.
Typically, not always.
In any case, I fully maintain that child spanking is an act better
suited to the maternal temperament. Again, typically, fathers are
too concerned with getting from A to B to be bothered appreciating
the journey. They treat spanking a bottom like balancing a ledger.
A mother is naturally more inclined to deal with the various stages
of a traditional bottom warming as individually important parts of
the whole, each deserving of close attention.
Still, in the final analysis, what matters is that we agree on the
necessity of a spanking being treated seriously by the parent in
order for it to be taken just as seriously by the child.
Thanks for writing.
Sincerely,
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| From: alanboy01@aol.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: reminder spankings Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003
(Note: this mail is not anonymized on special request.)
Dear Spank with Love,
I had written to you some time back when I told you about my Dad and I
agreeing to go back to spanking. Well, I'm now 17 and am hardly ever spanked.
It took only two more over the knee pants down paddling to stop me from
disobeying curfew and backtalking. I must say I am much more respectful and
honest then I was. But I still have a habbit of swearing quite a bit. And my
father had started something he calls "behind reminders," which are less
severe as the over the lap 30 plus smacks with the paddle. They also happen
more often. When I curse by accident or otherwise, I'm sent upstairs to my
room and my Dad comes in and tells me to drop my pants and underpants and bend
over. He then give me 5 quick smacks and it's over. It doesn't make me cry
or anything but I'm getting better at not swearing and It's less embarassing
then over the lap. Plus
I feel strong about being able to take the smacks. I was getting this
three times a week and now only once last month. I think it works for teen
guys.
Feel free to list my e mail, I don't have problem talking about it, and let
me know what you think about it. I hoping to not need to spanked within a
few more months.
Sincerely,
Alan
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| From: n...@yahoo.com
To: spankwithlove@hotmail.com Subject: Teen Option Table Suggestion Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003
With regards to the splendid idea of giving teens a choice of
punishments, constructing an option table might prove to be
useful for teens contemplating asking to be spanked rather than
grounded. Such a table might be similar to the one that you have
already constructed in the Implements section of your website,
so it should not be that difficult to create another.
A four-column table might be a useful place to start. The columns
would be grouped in pairs. One column in the pair would be
labeled "Pro" and the other "Con". Above each pair of columns
would be the name of an alternative, consequence, or punishment.
"Grounding" and "Spanking" might be the choices in a four-column
table. Preferable and unfavorable aspects of each option might
then be listed. Pithy listings such as "Over quickly," "Privacy,"
and "Intense pain," could be listings in the appropriate columns
under spanking. "No pain," "Time to think," and "Friends know,"
might be starters for Grounding. Obviously, more detailed listings
are also possible.
Once you get the table started, readers may expand it for you by
contributing their own ideas and experiences. The table idea
might also be incorporated parenting strategies for younger children.
By the way, the 20-year-old single mother spoke volumes - as did
several of the late August contributors to Feedback! Likewise, so
did the woman (I presume the writer to have been female) in
September who inquired about spanking as punishment for adult
misbehavior - echoing a theme that seems to appear from time to
time in the e-mails. I really do think that the days of rabid
anti-spanking zealotry, as I have heard it called, have faded for
at least a generation or two.
Now that some of the downsides no-spank are becoming evident,
especially from those who were - like the 20-year-old single
mother - supposed to have *benefited* from never having been
spanked, it may send those who wished to outlaw spanking back
to the drawing board to craft some wondrous new strategy with
which to bedazzle the public in a generation or two when the
current lessons are forgotten.
Then, as my wife - who never felt it was really her job to paddle
some else's child - observed as she watched the paddle disappear
from the classrooms around the country, the people who took it away
only wanted it gone; they replaced it with nothing and could not
have cared less about the mess they created as they pushed their
myopic agenda.
(in another mail, dated October 8, 2003)
While my evidence is admittedly anecdotal, my understanding is
that spanking in countries that prohibit it is like drinking in the
United States during Prohibition. It still happens.
Someone asked an employee of Danish embassy what was really going on
with spanking in her country and the employee admitted that parents,
including the woman being asked the question, still spank. Apparently,
children have learned that it is safer to be spanked by their parents
than saved by government intervention and no one has offered parents
anything that achieves the desired results quite like spanking.
It is also my understanding that a 200-year-old French law prohibits
spanking. However, much like French income tax law, it is widely ignored.
Over time, it is simply impossible to prohibit what people have done
for thousands of years. The Soviets learned that the hard way with
religion.
In keeping with the concept of a synthesis merging from a thesis and
antithesis, what seems to be happening in the United States is that
spanking is becoming as described in a typical dictionary - a series
of smacks with the open hand (or similar light, flat object) on the
buttocks for punishment - rather than a euhemerism for beating a child
with a stick or whipping them with a strap.
That, in the end, may be the ultimate contribution of the anti-spanking
movement. It kept the word honest.
Properly used, spanking seems to buy the parent and child time to solve
their problems in a more constructive manner. As one recent reader
response pointed out, the child who has been spanked does not talkback.
By implication, then, the child is more amenable to listening to the
parent afterwards.
Whether three days or two weeks, while memory of the experience is
still fresh, if the time bought with the spanking is put to good use,
the need for a future spanking may be greatly diminished.
One opponent of spanking claimed that there had never been any long-term
benefits shown to be associated with spanking. That is true since
spanking is a means to and end (in that it is useful) rather than an
end in itself (a panacea). In this regard, only an absolute fool uses
spanking as their primary childrearing strategy!
Wise parents use spanking prudently because children will only take
a limited amount of spanking before the law of diminishing returns
sets in. It is the antibiotic of parenting - powerful if used wisely,
but counterproductive if squandered.
The limited usefulness of spanking is one of the reasons for the layer
cake method. Instead of the child becoming oblivious after half a dozen
swats, layer caking allows the parent to keep the child's undivided
attention for as long as necessary to make sure the child learns the
desired lesson the first time.
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