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Homicide: Life on the Lanai
Cinnamon & Violet
SCENE SIX
[Fade up on the house in the morning, where Gee, Frank, Sophia, Tim, Rose, and Dorothy are having coffee.]
Dorothy: This is wonderful espresso, Lieutenant Giardello! It tastes just like my mother's.
Gee: Of course. It's a Sicilian recipe. [He smiles at Sophia.]
Sophia: We have a tradition of good coffee.
Rose: I thought that was Colombians. Although I never figured why that Valdez man was riding a donkey when he was up so far north. Wouldn't it be slippery with all that ice?
Dorothy: Colombia in South America, Rose, not British Columbia in Canada....
Frank: We need strong coffee this morning. Tim kept us up for hours on a sugar rush. [He glares at Tim, catching him in the act of dunking some of Rose's confection into his coffee cup.]
Dorothy: Did you hear the racket Blanche was making last night? [Sophia and Rose nod.] I guess she did get lucky after all.
[Meldrick and Mike enter, both looking exhausted. The others exchange glances, eyebrows raised.]
Rose: Good morning, boys. coffee? [She pours them each a cup.]
Meldrick: Thanks. I'll need it. I kept having these horrible nightmares about a raisin in a skimpy nightie.
Mike: You kick when you dream. And you hog all the sheets.
Dorothy: But if neither of you was with Blanche last night, who...?
[Munch enters, wearing a frilly, multi-colored bathrobe.]
Munch: And so another day begins. A fresh slate. An unmarked sheet of paper. Coffee? Who needs it? I'm a man with all the energy of a child! I'm galvanized! I'm juiced! I - [he slumps] - really need some coffee.
[He pours himself a cup and turns to leave, as Blanche comes into the kitchen, wearing her somewhat disarrayed negligee. Everyone stares at them.]
Munch: Shameless wench.
Blanche: Sleazeball.
Munch: Virago.
Blanche: Pig.
[Munch exits, and Blanche leans against the wall.]
Blanche: Now I remember why I fell in love with him. [She sighs.] Oh, don't look at me like that! I know we're not right for each other, but - sometimes it's good to recapture old memories, to lie back and... reminisce.
Sophia: If reminiscing is what you're doing all that time when you're on your back, you've got to stop living in the past!
Blanche [scowling at Sophia]: Anyway, he'll be leaving soon to cart this withered old witch up to prison for the rest of her life. [She stalks out after Munch.]
Meldrick [cringes]: I may never be able to sleep again.
Gee: Lewis, Kellerman, come with me. We're going to go to the Italian market Sophia told me about, and pick up some ingredients for a great Sicilian feast.
Mike: All right, but thinking about Munch and Blanche Devereaux? I may never be able to eat again.
[Gee, Lewis, and Kellerman exit.]
Dorothy: Now, Detective Pembleton, surely you can't think my mother really committed this horrible crime.
Frank: Well, at the moment, Mrs. Petrillo is our only suspect. We have her identification with the body, and her fingerprints on the shell casings.
Sophia: But I told you the truth! I've never owned a gun in my life, and I don't know this Jujube.
Tim: Juju.
Sophia: For all I know, he could be Jojo the dog-faced boy! I didn't kill him.
Rose: You've got to believe her, Detective. She would never do something like this.
Frank: I'm sorry, but Sophia will have to come back to Baltimore with us to face a trial.
Sophia: I'm telling you, it wasn't even my purse in the picture you showed me!
Rose: Wait a minute! Let me see that picture!
[Frank produces a photograph of the purse found with Juju's body. Rose studies it.]
Rose: Now I see what's happened! Oh, Sophia, of course you're not guilty. This isn't your purse at all!
Frank: You recognize this handbag?
Rose: Well, of course I do. The bag you found is mine!
[Everyone stares at her, dumbfounded. Cut to commercial.]
SCENE SEVEN
[Fade up. Frank, Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia walk into the living room, talking.]
Frank: Mrs. Nylund, this is your purse in the photograph?
Rose: Yes. Girls, do you remember when my purse got stolen a few years ago?
Sophia: Yeah. We were at Blanche's stupid Citrus Festival, and you were carrying my wallet in your purse for me.
Frank: Did you report your purse stolen?
[Rose nods.]
Frank: We'll have to check that out, of course.
Dorothy: Not to rain on anyone's parade, but how did Ma's fingerprints show up on the shell casings?
Sophia: Wasn't your gun in your purse that day it was stolen, Rose?
Frank: They let you get a gun?
[Rose nods.]
Sophia: I loaded Rose's gun for her. We Sicilians know our way around firearms.
Dorothy: Well, that's great! Ma, you're free!
Frank: Not so fast, Mrs. Zbornak. We do have to confirm these stories. We won't know for sure until --
[The phone rings, interrupting Frank. Rose answers.]
Rose: Hello? Yes, he's here.
[Rose covers the mouthpiece with her hand.]
Rose: It's for you, Detective Pembleton. A Kay Howard?
[Frank takes the phone.]
Frank: Yeah, Kay? Oh, you did? All right, thanks for calling.
[Frank hangs up the phone.]
Frank: That was my sergeant back in Baltimore. She said that while we were down here, she found the real killer. I guess you really are free to go, Mrs. Petrillo.
[Dorothy, Rose and Sophia clap and cheer. Blanche enters, dressed in normal clothes.]
Blanche: Did I hear you right? Sophia's name is clear?
[Munch walks in from the lanai.]
Munch: Excellent news. I'll go pack.
Rose: But boys, you have to stay for tonight's feast!
[Tim peeks his head out from behind the kitchen door.]
Tim: Yeah, Frank, we have to stay for tonight's feast!
Frank: All right, we'll leave after supper.
Blanche: Dorothy, can I see you in the kitchen please?
[Dorothy and Blanche walk into the kitchen, where they find Bayliss eating Rose's log with his fingers.]
Blanche: Oh, for God's sake! Get out of here!
[Tim leaves, then comes back, grabs the log, and leaves again.]
Dorothy: Honey, what is it?
Blanche: It's Munch. I can't get him out of my head, Dorothy. I don't want you telling everyone, but --
[Blanche leans in.]
Blanche [whispering]: Last night, we slept together.
Dorothy [sarcastically]: No!
Blanche: Yes.
[Dorothy rolls her eyes.]
Blanche: And now he's leaving.
Dorothy: What's the problem, Blanche? You have one-night stands all the time.
Blanche: This is different, Dorothy. Johnny and I shared something special at one time, and I think we recaptured some of that last night.
Dorothy: From the noises I heard, you recaptured a lot of it last night.
Blanche: Oh, I don't know why I expected you to understand. You're just a substitute teacher.
Dorothy: There's honor in what I do.
Blanche: Honor?
Dorothy: Sure, it's not the most glamorous job in the world, but I like it. You want glory? Go work at ER. Substitute teaching's fine by me.
[Mike and Meldrick enter, carrying grocery bags.]
Dorothy: Did you boys have a nice time at the market?
Meldrick: I gotta loosen my waistband just thinkin' 'bout eating all this food.
Blanche: I'm going to go lie down. If anyone cares to join me, my room is at the end of the hall.
[Blanche pauses. Dorothy, Mike and Meldrick unpack the groceries.]
Blanche: I said, if anyone cares to join me, my room is at the end of the hall.
Mike: We heard you the first time, Mrs. Devereaux.
[Blanche sighs, and leaves the kitchen. In the living room, she finds Sophia and Rose sitting on the couch.]
Rose: And so the bear says, you didn't come here to hunt, did you?
Sophia: Rose, that's the best St. Olaf story I've ever heard.
Rose: Oh, it's not a St. Olaf story, Sophia. It's a joke. Meldrick taught it to me. I don't really understand it, though.
Blanche: Where's Lieutenant Giardello?
Rose: Oh, he's out on the lanai with Detective Munch.
[Blanche sighs again and walks to her room. Cut to the lanai.]
Munch: I really liked her, Gee. What should I do?
Gee: Ah, Munch, you're asking a question that is ages old. Two lovers, long apart, find each other again. Is this a sign from the gods? Or is it Fate, playing a cruel trick on you? I can't answer your question. You must find the answer within yourself.
Munch: How, Gee?
Gee: It seems to me that your relationship with Blanche was like that moment when you get a shock. For that moment, time stands still for you, and it stood still for you last night. But ultimately, you two cannot be together. Your love was just a violet spark between the flicker of the light, Munch. You must tell that to Blanche.
Munch: Tell her what, Gee?
Gee: That your love was just a violet spark between the flicker of the light.
Munch: But I don't know what that means.
Gee: Just say it.
Munch: Okay.
[Gee stands.]
Gee: I'm going inside to help Sophia with dinner. Are you coming?
Munch: In a minute. I'm just going to sit out here on the patio -- I mean, the lanai -- for a little bit.
[Fade out on Munch, looking forlorn.]
SCENE EIGHT
[Fade up on the entire group, sitting around the kitchen finishing a massive Italian dinner prepared by Sophia.]
Gee: Bene!
Meldrick [pushing his chair back]: Mrs. Petrillo -
Sophia: Call me Sophia. You boys arrested me for murder, I think that counts as a formal introduction.
Meldrick: Sophia, this is the most delicious meal I've ever tasted. If you ever need a job, you can come cook for us at the Waterfront anytime.
Mike: I feel like I've just had Thanksgiving dinner. I'm going to be fast asleep on the plane.
Meldrick: Well, then you ain't sitting next to me. You snore.
Mike: Do not!
Meldrick: Like a motorboat. [Mike glares at him.]
Sophia: I couldn't have done it without Al's help. Paisan! [Gee and Sophia embrace. Gee leans over so that she can kiss him once on each cheek.]
Frank: Well, much as I hate to break up this gathering, it's time we got going. We have a flight to catch. [He stands and shakes hands with Sophia, Rose, Dorothy, and Blanche.] Thanks for your hospitality.
Dorothy: You're welcome, detectives, and I'm glad we got all this confusion cleared up. I still can't believe anyone would suspect my mother of murder.
Sophia: I still can't believe you haven't had a date in six years.
Dorothy: Ma!
Mike [standing and shaking hands]: Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
Meldrick [standing and shaking hands]: Definitely.
Blanche: Now, you two have to promise to look me up the next time you're in Miami, and I'll show you the best sights in the city.
[Blanche looks at them suggestively. They glance at each other.]
Meldrick: We have to be going.
Mike: Definitely.
[They bolt. Blanche pouts.]
Tim [standing]: Thanks for having us. I've had a wonderful time.
Rose: Oh, I almost forgot! [She goes to the stove.] I baked another Honey Sugar Syrup Marshmallow Maple Crunch Log for your trip! [She gives it to Bayliss.]
Tim [his adoring gaze flickering between Rose and the log]: I love you.
Frank: You're not going to eat that on the plane, are you?
Tim: Probably not. I'll probably finish it in the airport.
Frank: Gee, I think we should talk about getting me a new partner.
Gee: We've had a very interesting time here in Miami. [He beams at Sophia and kisses her hand.] It's always good to meet a fellow Sicilian.
[Munch and Blanche are the only ones still seated at the table. Dorothy notices this.]
Dorothy: Why don't we give these two some privacy to say goodbye?
Sophia: And miss the best part of the show?
[Dorothy scolds her and everyone files out into the living room, leaving Munch and Blanche alone.]
Blanche: John.
Munch: Blanche, I -
Blanche: You don't have to say anything. I understand that you have to go. It's your job, and anyway, I was the one who dumped you thirty years ago, not the other way around.
Munch: Yeah, right. Thanks for reminding me.
Blanche: I just want to know one thing. What happened last night -- does that mean you're still in love with me? Even just a little?
Munch: No, Blanche. What we had was a long time ago. Whatever love we shared, that time has passed.
Blanche: Well, then was it just meaningless sex?
Munch: No --
Blanche: Because I'm okay with that too, you know.
Munch: No, Blanche, that's never what was between us.
Blanche: What was it then?
Munch: It... it was a violet spark between the flicker of the light, Blanche.
[He leans across the table and kisses her gently on the cheek. Then he walks away. As he leaves, Sophia, Rose, and Dorothy, who were obviously eavesdropping, come in. Blanche sits at the table looking sad.]
Sophia: We, uh, couldn't help overhearing.
Rose: I'll get the cheesecake. I have a feeling we'll be up talking for a while! [Rose rummages to the fridge.]
Blanche: I just don't understand it, Dorothy, I just don't understand.
Dorothy: Oh, honey, you wish that you and Munch had stayed together?
Blanche: No! Not at all. I just don't understand what the hell he meant by all that violet spark nonsense!
[Cut to the plane, where all the Homicide boys are sitting. Meldrick and Mike are dozing, heads resting on each other's shoulders. Munch is stretched out across a double seat reading a magazine about female bodybuilders. Frank is leaning on the window sleeping. Tim sits across the aisle from Giardello, finishing Rose's log.]
Tim: Mm. Well. This was really an interesting investigation, Gee.
Gee: To say the least. Sometimes the most routine cases take us on an interesting journey. We discover new friends, people from our past [he indicates Munch], and underneath it all, the truth.
Tim: Do you think we'll ever see Sophia and Rose and Blanche and Dorothy again?
Gee: I've been a cop a long time, Tim. I can tell you how to work a case until there's nothing left. I can tell you how to spot one good witness in a room full of liars. But one thing I can't tell you is whether we'll see those ladies ever again.
[Tim ponders this.]
Tim: Want a bite of my log?
Gee [disgusted]: Tim, never say that in my presence again.
[Gee turns away and tries to go to sleep. Tim shrugs and happily finishes the dessert by himself. Fade to black.]
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